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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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thewritewade

Inspirationalist. Educator. Creative Soul. Faith Walker. - All posts by C. J. Wade are property of The Write Wade Publishing Company, LLC (thewritewade) and posts by guest bloggers are shared jointly with thewritewade and their respective owners. -

Walking out of 2018 like…

My performing arts troupe has a saying “No scratch, no burn, no nothin’.” It references the Bible’s account of  3 Hebrew boys that were delivered from death by fire (Book of Daniel – Chapters 1-6). It’s our battle cry when we go through tough situations.

That’s where my mindset has been since December 5, 2018, when all of my employer’s campuses received word that we were permanently closing before the year’s end. Unless you were teaching a class or part of the skeleton crew designated to carry out closing duties, your last day on the job was the same day you got the news. It was horrible.

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Motivation visuals of my “why.”

Sprouts of fiery frustration, confusion, and anguish spread like wildfire among employees and students alike. It was an ugly, messy, inconsiderate break-up and there weren’t enough gauze in the world to cover the wounds. My heart bled for my work family and numerous students affected by the mud of bureaucracy. I was emotionally full and saddened that our academic and professional journey had to end in such a way.

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My office bulletin board above my desk. Before & After.

December also hosted multiple milestones that reminded me of my late former husband. So, I took the time to digest it all. To let healing have her perfect work. To let the process continue instead of stifling what I didn’t want to feel. And like my #bloglikecrazy posts expressed, all of 2018 was not bad. There were some exceptional moments in there that I will never forget.

 

So, going back to December 5th aftermath – the million dollar questions floating in the hallways were “So, what are you going to do?” “Do you have another job lined up?”

woman in peach color and red floral sweatshirt holding gray jacket
Photo by Godisable Jacob on Pexels.com

I had planned to proceed full-time in my entrepreneurial lanes in March, but upon receipt of the closing news, I heard in my spirit “It’s time.” Time to trust and do exactly what I was called to do, but was too afraid to do in the past. To everything, there is a season, and apparently, this was mine. I was so sad that the ending was so abrupt and widespread, but honestly, I was at peace and filled with unparalleled determination. This wasn’t my first rodeo in dealing with layoffs, but it was my first experience of this kind. I said to myself, “I’m done. I won’t lay me off.”

I’m launching out into the deep. Full emersion into the fullness of my workmanship. I don’t have all of the answers, but I have the orders and I’m not afraid to keep building on my dreams.

What are you willing to end in order to begin? Are you walking tall into your God-given gifts or slumping over in defeat? To all of my students, use the blunt news as the jolt you need to assess your passions, write down your dream steps, and catapult you into the very thing you’ve been talking about doing all these years. I know the way it happened sucked rotten eggs, but I’m looking forward to celebrating your new reality. I’m definitely moving into mine. All I needed was a YES from God and I got it.

Peace & Happy New Year, Sweethearts! I love you!

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Wednesday Wind Down: The End in the Beginning

On January 1st of this year, I posted Happy New YOU. Instead of new year’s resolutions, I shared 5 things I “did” by the end of 2018. Let’s see how it went, shall we?

  1. Created more unapologetic boundaries. Over time, I got better at this, but there were some points last year where I stepped over those lines in the sand and let the ocean of my emotions wash them away. So, in 2018, I created safe and healthy boundaries where I otherwise disregarded them. YEP. I DID THAT. *fist bump*

  2. Continued my self-care promise of nail appointments. While pedicures are a non-negotiable for me (choreographers need their feet), I took a break from polished fingernails for years until creating a regimen last year. And I loved it. Nothing extra. Just basic color. Polished, basic-manicured nails make me happy and when they look nice, I feel a bit more… well, polished. After graduating from therapeutic massage school, yes, I did! I even had a revelation of where that quirk was birthed. Thanks, Grandma. *smile*

  3. Launched my 2nd book, a continuation of The Morning After. I must admit, Sweethearts… it’s been a fun ride letting the characters write their stories through my hands. There’s some twists even I didn’t expect. I can’t wait until you read about their journeys! Ew. Didn’t do this one. Life events created a vacuum of writer’s block (see past posts), but I’m about 90% finished to date. This one will carry over into 2019 and I’ll throw it in the “celebrate pile” anyway. lol
  4. Completed my therapeutic massage program. This was a big one. Over 10 years ago, I wrote this as a long-term goal so I could be a more effective choreographer and understand how to better maintain the dancer’s body. Being a student again was not in my line of sight right now, but I had such peace about walking through this door. Plus, it was nice to awaken this item on my goal list. I had given up on it. Oh, yeah. You already know. #CJWLMT *fist bump and runnin’ man*
  5. Took two real vacations. Last year, I took my first vacations in years, and it was AH-MAZING. I looked forward to doing it again in 2018 and it was epic. To be away from home and not think about anything except enjoying your surroundings… that was a true blessing. I did, and the best part was that one of those two vacations was with my mother. I loved watching her freedom in motion. *beaming*

Well, Sweethearts, it’s actually Thursday morning on my side of the planet (1:31 AM to be exact). I’m a bit late posting because I wanted to be a good steward over a friend’s heart as they poured it out. So, I remained in the moment instead of trying to beat the midnight deadline. As you know, I try to write you in “real-time” as much as possible, so thank you for understanding.

I hope my top 5 gives you the encouragement to create your own 2019 preview. I haven’t finished mine yet, but I can’t wait to share it with you next Wednesday. It’s not about making goals for me; it’s about truly growing into a better version of myself every year. Besides, we have a full life to live and we might as well start today.

I love you all and thanks for sticking with me this year. I’ll check in again on New Year’s Eve. Peace & Blessings!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 30 – Love It Up

The Good

#30 – I spent mother-daughter time at the beach!

These posts have not been published in the order of importance, but I definitely saved the best for last. It was desperately on my heart to enjoy the King & Prince Beach & Golf Resort with my mother during the Word of Faith Love Center‘s At The Table Women’s Ministry Retreat. This is not your stereotypical Christian retreat. You know the ones… you’re not super saved unless you wake up at 5:00 AM to pray with everybody, attend 5 breakout sessions with 10 different speakers, 2 prayer meetings, then snot-nose-cry on the floor well after 1 AM. Not that I have never been a broken piece of clay at a spiritual event (because I have), but if you tell me that I’m attending a retreat, that is what I expect. I shouldn’t need a vacation when I return home. That’s what I wanted for my mother. After the decade she has had, a time to refresh and replenish her spirit was not part of the calendar. So, that’s exactly what we did and it was the really Good stuff of this year.

The Lesson

Allow your love level up.

I had attended the retreat twice before, but this year was different. It seemed like everything in the world tried to prevent me from going (just like the previous years), but instead of focusing on the obstacles, I was relentless about the outcome. My mother was coming with me no matter what. And guess what? She felt the same way. We double-teamed our discomfort with faith and action. We declared and decreed that we would not only attend the retreat but that we were going to have a fabulous time together. There was a season in our relationship where that was not our warcry, so I was so full to be able to say those words.

Love overrides obstacles every time. The obstacles will be there, but they don’t have to shine. Don’t be afraid to let love surpass the pain, the frustration, the history, the cracks, and bruises. My mother is the most resilient person you will ever meet. She greets challenges with a smile and hammer ready to work. Every day. Since I’ve been born, she’s been on the grind and it healed my soul to see her singing in the ocean, trying new foods, embracing her natural hair and new makeup, and connecting with other phenomenal women – including me. I love her more now than I ever have. Because we decided to “level up” our love, I am able to witness the expansion of her courage in real time and be an active participant of her regeneration. Love breeds love, so all we have to do is let Him breathe between us.

Peace & Thanks for listening! I appreciate you hanging with me again this year during #bloglikecrazy. It’s been a blast. See you next week on our regular Wind Down Wednesday schedule. God bless you all and enjoy your weekend, Sweetheart. I love you too. *hug*

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 29 – Dream Up

The Good

#29 – I opened my private massage practice!

My practice is located inside a chiropractor’s office. When I enter and look over to my left, I see my therapeutic massage license in a frame and I smile… every time. It warms my heart to see it sitting over there. Why? Because I’m able to see it in my massage suite and I couldn’t be more appreciative of the Blessing! During my interview, I remember thinking how calming it was to be there, not to mention to work with such authentically supportive people. So, yeah… upon every thought of it, I am flooded with gratefulness like the first day I saw it.

The Lesson

It’s proof that a dream is just a reality-in-waiting. I knew what I wanted to do, but not sure how it would happen. But that’s the beauty of it… I didn’t have to! If you want that to-do list to turn into a “done” list, you have to get moving on the parts that are within your reach. God will not do something that you can start, so stop using Him and His timing as a default excuse. Write it down, create S.M.A.R.T. goals, research the steps you can control instead of scrolling on your timeline for an hour… your dream is literally waiting for YOU. I believe that God gave you everything you needed the day you were born. You have a natural starter kit inside of you and once you get started, the journey will continue. Trust me… my license is the proof and so is my new work address.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Sweet Dreams *wink*

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My classmates named me. lol
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#bloglikecrazy: Day 28 – Speak Up

The Good

#28 – I performed spoken word pieces at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute.

There’s something you should know. I don’t like to share all of my words. Yes, I’m a writer and public speaker, but sometimes I hoard my words like a squirrel stores acorns. I know why I do it too. It’s because I don’t want to be disregarded and misunderstood. That residual flaw still lives in my bones when it comes to sharing spoken word pieces. Well, this year, I decided to begin the extraction process by accepting the opportunity to perform at the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute for a social justice event. One piece commemorated the Children’s March of 1963 and the other addressed the water contamination in Flint, Michigan. My friend was supportive and the best part was having my mother there to witness my nervousness and my courage when she had the same emotions living through the Movement. I won’t lie to you, it was difficult to stand there and perform as museum attendants waited for something profound to fall from my lips… but I did it and I walked out of the BCRI 7-feet taller knowing that I was standing on the backs of those of which I spoke. Many people of different colors said how much they enjoyed my craft and who wouldn’t feel the Good after that?

The Lesson

You have a voice and it’s worth hearing. You don’t have to scream and shout if you don’t want to, and to the same degree, you don’t have to be quiet either. Just use your voice in the capacity that God gave you. That’s how the world gets better, feels different, and becomes an enriching place to live. Your voice may be through your pen, your tablet, your sewing, your outreach, your teaching, your janitorial work… speak up so everyone can have the opportunity to better than they were before they joined your company. In light of everything going on locally and nationally, it would behoove us to speak up in as many ways as possible and not judge the sound of each other’s voices. I learned that my voice is light, but it is strong. It is assertive and it is compassionate. However I choose to use it, I have nothing to be ashamed of and neither do you.

Peace & Thanks for listening. Don’t worry… I’ll share them online in February 2019. See you then.

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 27 – Level Up

The Good

#27 – I got to “birthday chill” with Kendra Dear!

Well, that’s not her real name, but it’s what I call her. She began to know me as her high school teacher and now she’s my performing arts troupe teammate and sister. Sounds weird? Not really once you know the backstory. I don’t make a habit of turning former students into friends, but this one? A rare occasion that was worth every step of the journey. The result was the opportunity to celebrate her birthday with food, exercise, and fun this year and I couldn’t have asked for a better time. We had excellent conversation and I was so grateful to celebrate her life.

The Lesson

Be willing to walk the journey. 

I didn’t expect to be on the same team when we met, but I truly believe that God knitted us together as family. Despite her youth, she has been as loyal and encouraging to me as one that has known me for a lifetime. What she doesn’t realize is, while I mentor her, she fortifies me every time she overcomes an obstacle… and trust me, she’s had more than her fair share. She is my mentee, but she has proven to be my friend in sensitive times. On the phone when I was studying or grading papers late at night, calling to see if I made it home from work when she knew I was sleepy, and checking to be sure I ate when she knew I didn’t want to – these are just the minor leagues in comparison to the sincerity, joy, and downright determination she gives to those around her. My life has been enriched because she’s in it and going forward, I will continue to be appreciative every step of the way.

Peace & thanks for listening, Sweethearts! “See” you tomorrow!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 26 – Finally

The Good

#26 – I found a new primary care physician.

Now, this may seem like a small accomplishment, but it definitely was not. When my insurance changed last year, that meant I could no longer see my beloved primary care physician… that one I boasted about for years, the one who discovered issues that had ailed me for a long time. So, when I had to go on a hunt for a new medical relationship, I was not excited. There was a mass on my neck of which I needed to know the status. After being transferred multiple times, I finally reached an office that accepted new patients and got an appointment scheduled. Then, I received a referral to obtain a diagnosis about the mass, which resulted in the safe surgery of benign tumor. Whew!

The Lesson

There’s nothing wrong with fighting just a little bit longer for what you need. I know it is tiresome to keep getting what you should easily receive, but when it comes to your health (of all kinds), you are worth fighting for. It was difficult; I cried. In the car. In a Waffle House parking lot. It was bad. I was so frustrated and I felt isolated amidst the surrounding traffic. After the tears, I made more calls until I got to the right person to help me navigate through the muddy waters of medical insurance. The fight was necessary to get what I needed and I don’t regret a minute of it. It made me a stronger patient and an overcomer.

If you’re a patient, I encourage you to be an active participant in your health. Ask questions. Get opinions. Do the work. This is YOU we’re talking about.

Peace, thanks for listening, and keep fighting. You’re worth it.

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 25 – There Is An End

The Good

#25 – I watched my students and my cousin graduate!

There are two things I bring to every graduation – water and cough drops. Why? Because I’m going to scream for my students! The joy that overwhelms my soul every time I see them step into the graduation day is the stuff that could make rockets fly. Their smiles light up every backstage corridor and when they walk across the stage, I yell like I birthed them myself. I teach adults, but at that moment, they’re my kids. I embarrass them with cheers, hugs, and words that express how proud I am of them.

The cherry on top of the day was cheering for my cousin. She had gone through hell and high water, but she kept a spirit of determination while balancing family, work, and school. I was so proud of her and all of my students that day. I was simply blessed to be present… and they knew I was coming for them with my camera. lol

The Lesson

The best feeling in the world for an educator is knowing that you’ve given them something that will grow with them forever. The homework, the discipline, the life skills, and the motivation all work together to create a beautiful moment of transition from the classroom to their respective professions. My former students are now business owners, healthcare professionals, administrators, managers, and students once again as they advance in their careers. All of those titles came to fruition because their class time with me came to an end. That’s not a sad thing… it’s a Good thing! That’s why I cheer for my students so hard and knock back those cough drops – because it’s the end of that part of the struggle. Single parenthood, unemployment, inconsistent childcare, undependable transportation, and non-supportive family members were not enough to stop them. And those smiles on that day… that’s the Good no negativity can take away.

So, maybe you think I was joking about the cheering part. Who cares if I was on stage as faculty? Not me. Just check out this clip of my cousin walking across the stage.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Cheer for someone this week! It may encourage them more than you know!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 24 – UTR

The Good

#24 – I volunteered for Upon This Rock Passion Play!

This. Was. Amazing. I’ve worked on productions before, but this was an experience. The people worked together like a well-oiled machine, but with strong family ties that oiled each gear. As it approaches its 35th year in 2019, Upon This Rock: The Passion Play is an Indianapolis, Indiana production that includes over 300 cast and volunteer members that makes the Bible come to life in a unique way. Spoken word, live animals, authentic songwriting, the live choir, and band – individuals come from all over the country to be part of UTR and with the great help of my sister, I was able to finally make the trek to experience it for myself.

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My big sister Moe as Martha

The Lesson

When God gives you something, you have an obligation to inhale it and run with it. There’s no time to waste because there are lives that are waiting to be changed by the glory that God gave you. It’s going to take some work, OK… who am I kidding, it’s going to take a lot of work, so it’s not for the faint of heart. You have the ability to complete it and do it well. The biggest obstacle in front of you is YOU. I can’t imagine not experiencing the wealth of creativity, skill, professionalism, and camaraderie that day. So, I am so grateful to Playwright & Executive Director Sharon Thompson-Hill and Co- & Managing Director Pastor A. Thomas Hill for not only hearing the Voice of God, but inhaling the Promise and Direction, and running with the Vision.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

By the way: Show dates are April 19-20, 2019 and tickets go on sale January 1, 2019. Go ahead and put it on your calendar. You won’t regret it.

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