Good Morning, Sweethearts. It’s late, like I-should-have-been-in-bed-a-long-time-ago late, but I couldn’t go to bed without sharing a quick word with you. There’s so much going on in the world and it is imperative that we treat each other as individuals, not the assumption we think they are. It is also essential that we are emotionally honest with each other. From what I gather, that would alleviate much of the pressure we’re feeling right now.
So, I challenge you to serve your co-worker a cup of kindness even though you think they are racist. Give a compliment to the cashier who is rude to you. Say thank you to three people throughout the day for the little things they do for you or someone else. I know some people are evil. The key word in that sentence is “some.” Do your best to not stereotype everyone you see. Try not to be paranoid. I know it’s difficult, but it’s simply not a healthy way to live, plus we can’t let that rabid way of thinking run free when we have the Light to brighten our surroundings.
I love you. Take care of yourself and look out for each other.
I knew what I was going to post tonight. I had it all planned out; then, I saw Prayers Up for Jussie Smollett in my inbox and everything about my Wednesday Wind Down changed. I simply couldn’t wait. This isn’t about creating a literary bouquet of flowery words on my blog for lament and catharsis. Despite the disgust I experienced, this post is about obedience and attention.
Before I explain, let me share my immediate reaction. My mind kept trying to compute the Essence article because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The man who stopped to speak to me and my Sorority sister in a Michigan airport had been attacked. The same human being who was on his way to advocate for Flint’s water solution. The same spirit that smiled and said that I looked like someone who knew and wasn’t walking with an entourage. The horror and hurt grew exponentially as I saw the slurs he heard and the pain he felt. My heart cracked in a matter of seconds and I cried inside and out. The worst sting was reading the end of their rationale – “This is MAGA Country.”
I had thought of Jussie Smollett all day yesterday, and not in the way of an admiring fan. I kept being compelled to pray for him, for his heart. Now, I pray for celebrities all of the time because the weight attached to their gifts, talents, and purposes can be too much to carry, but this time was different. Throughout the day, before I knew anything about the hate crime, I prayed for his spirit… that it wouldn’t be downtrodden, that he would be well and not tarnished by evil things around him. I prayed for his peace of mind and his strength. Never once did I pray for his physical health. I wasn’t led to. It was all about the pain that couldn’t be seen and didn’t need to stick to his soul. Then, to run across that article right before I was going to bed, it was gut-wrenching and I couldn’t sleep. The last moment of serendipity was that this photo was taken on January 30, 2016, three years ago today. I was speechless, then I prayed again. Lord, just make it stop.
Jussie, I am so sorry that happened to you. I hate that you were the subject of their spew. My heart is with you and please know that while I can’t explain where God was to prevent the experience, I can truly say that He had you in the spirit of someone miles away from that horrific moment in time. Your spirit can not be broken and what you are doing in life matters in more ways than you can possibly imagine. Apparently, you are breaking boundaries that need to be broken and making demons float to the surface. That’s the only way I can see anyone trying to hurt you in such a repulsive way. Even though you were tired, your heart was brighter than the sun that day at the airport. My Soror and I could feel it well after we left. I had to share how much I appreciate you and that you are covered. My prayers will continually be with you.Sweethearts, we have to do better at spreading Love. We teach those around us by living it out. Every day. No matter what. We have to teach our children, our co-workers, our neighbors that hate is not allowed to multiply near us. To have people physically assault one’s life is an act that should unsettle us all. Regardless of your religious or political affiliation, hate is not a validated battle cry and somehow the current temperament in America has created this warped sense of safety for ignorance to run free. The invisible seething waters of hate are tumultuous enough to reach out and grab us while we’re simply walking down the street. And don’t pretend that you don’t hear it in your cubicles, coffee shops, churches, and around your dining room tables. We do and we look away. We make excuses for it. We say it’s free speech, but is it liberating anyone? We say to just pray for them, but do we actually do it? You do realize that Jesus came so that individuals such as the ones who attacked our brother could not only receive the opportunity to turn from hate and receive Love but to also know that judgment was near, right? This MAGA mantra has nothing to do with Christian values. Stop sewing them together. Be careful to the extent to which you stretch your loyalty. Claim Christ more than your political party, more than your social justice agenda, and more than your generational ideology. We can’t stop hate forever, but we can stop it wherever we are, whenever we hear and see it.
This moment in time has rocked me to my core and taught me that absolutely nothing happens by chance, not even prayer. Be diligent and keep fighting using whatever means you were born with.
I am so grateful for each and every one of you that rock with me every week. I appreciate your kind words, reading time, open heart, and listening ear. You make blogging fun and meaningful.
I pray that your 2019 is kicking off to a great start. I pray that if it isn’t, that there is something on this blog that can keep your heart afloat as you find your way to shore. I also pray that you continue to grow and allow your spirit to hear the whispers of God every day… that you are refueled, refreshed, and revived to move closer to your purposeful self. I love you and God bless you.
Peace & eat some cake tomorrow. I’m going to drink some hot chocolate in your honor. Thank you again for being part of my community. You’re the best. *fist bump*
If you’re just joining the party and want to understand the celebration, click here! Want to check out the first post? Go for it!
I was reminded of something recently that may help you out this week. When you think you have nothing left, there is more of you to give. I know it doesn’t seem like it (trust me, I feel you), but there truly is. Here’s how –
Every fruit has a seed and that seed has potential fruit in it. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I experience a situation that is a total energy zapper. In real life, I shake my head sometimes like a cartoon character that just hit a brick wall. It’s a quick punch to the face and if you’re not careful, it will buzz-kill your natural high on life. What do I do when this happens? The following 3 things help me cope:
I tell myself “OK” as many times as it takes. Sounds simple, but it’s my way to accepting the reality without overwhelming myself. It’s also my verbal confirmation to God that we’re in it together.
I ask myself “What can I do now?” I immediately prioritize to what I can control at that moment. The truth is that I can’t change the situation, but I usually can do something to relieve the pressure and lower my stress level… even if it doesn’t relate to the situation at hand.
I tell myself “It’s just temporary.” For me, there’s peace in the Truth. Jesus is my Peace and He stands in the chaos with me. When I tell myself the Truth, it reminds me that the situation won’t last forever.
So, when you feel like you’re squeezed out in a matter of seconds, minutes, or months, I pray that these three things can help you deal with the reality. It truly helps me to manage every day. You’re not squeezed out because you have an Everlasting Source. Trust me… He will give you more to handle what is thrown at you. You are the fruit with potential seeds inside and we have a Master Gardener that knows His field.
Peace & Thanks for listening! Keep rocking your January!
Happy New Year again! I hope you had a safe, sweet, and fun New Year’s Week!
Last year’s preview went pretty well, so my no-cliché-resolution self is making another preview this year. Here’s what I did in 2019 (in other words, these are things I want to do).
Paid off all of my installment accounts except my student loans. I was ecstatic to finally do this. It took a lot of work, a lot of discipline, and a lot of balance. The goal was to only have my student loan payments in 2020, and with God’s provision, I did it. Whew… what a load off.
Maintained my self-care promise of two massage appointments per month. I learned that being a choreographer, performing artist, massage therapist, public speaker, and writer meant that my muscles needed to be in their most efficient state at all times… like a good logophilic creative muscle kneader’s body should be. The massages were not designed to be a treat here and there; they were necessities to keep me going. I learned the value of maintenance versus damage control this year.
Launched my 2nd book and enjoyed my book signing. Oh, what fun it was! I had an absolute blast and it was so good seeing my friends and family enjoy the moment. I didn’t just accomplish a goal, but I breathed in the life it brought to my life. It felt good to birth the dream.
Grew my therapeutic massage practice. On November 19, 2019, I celebrated my practice being a 1-year-old blessing. It’s been a great ride and I’m looking forward to more of it. I felt so alive being an entrepreneur this year and to create hours flexible enough to eat lunch with my mother or read a book for leisure was priceless.
Created my home office, bedroom, and bathroom sanctuaries. It was on my heart to reflect my internal spiritual balance in my home that would spark joy (thanks, Marie Kondo). Now, they look amazing to me. My home is full of peace, and now I smile and enjoy being in every room.
What’s your preview for 2019?Write 3 previews for this year that you can truly see coming true and write them down. Place them in places where you’ll see them often.. and be sure to include a personal development goal somewhere.
Peace, Thanks for listening, and Blessings to your journey!
My performing arts troupe has a saying “No scratch, no burn, no nothin’.” It references the Bible’s account of 3 Hebrew boys that were delivered from death by fire (Book of Daniel – Chapters 1-6). It’s our battle cry when we go through tough situations.
That’s where my mindset has been since December 5, 2018, when all of my employer’s campuses received word that we were permanently closing before the year’s end. Unless you were teaching a class or part of the skeleton crew designated to carry out closing duties, your last day on the job was the same day you got the news. It was horrible.
Sprouts of fiery frustration, confusion, and anguish spread like wildfire among employees and students alike. It was an ugly, messy, inconsiderate break-up and there weren’t enough gauze in the world to cover the wounds. My heart bled for my work family and numerous students affected by the mud of bureaucracy. I was emotionally full and saddened that our academic and professional journey had to end in such a way.
December also hosted multiple milestones that reminded me of my late former husband. So, I took the time to digest it all. To let healing have her perfect work. To let the process continue instead of stifling what I didn’t want to feel. And like my #bloglikecrazy posts expressed, all of 2018 was not bad. There were some exceptional moments in there that I will never forget.
So, going back to December 5th aftermath – the million dollar questions floating in the hallways were “So, what are you going to do?” “Do you have another job lined up?”
I had planned to proceed full-time in my entrepreneurial lanes in March, but upon receipt of the closing news, I heard in my spirit “It’s time.” Time to trust and do exactly what I was called to do, but was too afraid to do in the past. To everything, there is a season, and apparently, this was mine. I was so sad that the ending was so abrupt and widespread, but honestly, I was at peace and filled with unparalleled determination. This wasn’t my first rodeo in dealing with layoffs, but it was my first experience of this kind. I said to myself, “I’m done. I won’t lay me off.”
I’m launching out into the deep. Full emersion into the fullness of my workmanship. I don’t have all of the answers, but I have the orders and I’m not afraid to keep building on my dreams.
What are you willing to end in order to begin? Are you walking tall into your God-given gifts or slumping over in defeat? To all of my students, use the blunt news as the jolt you need to assess your passions, write down your dream steps, and catapult you into the very thing you’ve been talking about doing all these years. I know the way it happened sucked rotten eggs, but I’m looking forward to celebrating your new reality. I’m definitely moving into mine. All I needed was a YES from God and I got it.
On January 1st of this year, I posted Happy New YOU. Instead of new year’s resolutions, I shared 5 things I “did” by the end of 2018. Let’s see how it went, shall we?
Created more unapologetic boundaries. Over time, I got better at this, but there were some points last year where I stepped over those lines in the sand and let the ocean of my emotions wash them away. So, in 2018, I created safe and healthy boundaries where I otherwise disregarded them. YEP. I DID THAT. *fist bump*
Continued my self-care promise of nail appointments. While pedicures are a non-negotiable for me (choreographers need their feet), I took a break from polished fingernails for years until creating a regimen last year. And I loved it. Nothing extra. Just basic color. Polished, basic-manicured nails make me happy and when they look nice, I feel a bit more… well, polished. After graduating from therapeutic massage school, yes, I did! I even had a revelation of where that quirk was birthed. Thanks, Grandma. *smile*
Launched my 2nd book, a continuation of The Morning After. I must admit, Sweethearts… it’s been a fun ride letting the characters write their stories through my hands. There’s some twists even I didn’t expect. I can’t wait until you read about their journeys! Ew. Didn’t do this one. Life events created a vacuum of writer’s block (see past posts), but I’m about 90% finished to date. This one will carry over into 2019 and I’ll throw it in the “celebrate pile” anyway. lol
Completed my therapeutic massage program. This was a big one. Over 10 years ago, I wrote this as a long-term goal so I could be a more effective choreographer and understand how to better maintain the dancer’s body. Being a student again was not in my line of sight right now, but I had such peace about walking through this door. Plus, it was nice to awaken this item on my goal list. I had given up on it. Oh, yeah. You already know. #CJWLMT *fist bump and runnin’ man*
Took two real vacations. Last year, I took my first vacations in years, and it was AH-MAZING. I looked forward to doing it again in 2018 and it was epic. To be away from home and not think about anything except enjoying your surroundings… that was a true blessing. I did, and the best part was that one of those two vacations was with my mother. I loved watching her freedom in motion. *beaming*
Well, Sweethearts, it’s actually Thursday morning on my side of the planet (1:31 AM to be exact). I’m a bit late posting because I wanted to be a good steward over a friend’s heart as they poured it out. So, I remained in the moment instead of trying to beat the midnight deadline. As you know, I try to write you in “real-time” as much as possible, so thank you for understanding.
I hope my top 5 gives you the encouragement to create your own 2019 preview. I haven’t finished mine yet, but I can’t wait to share it with you next Wednesday. It’s not about making goals for me; it’s about truly growing into a better version of myself every year. Besides, we have a full life to live and we might as well start today.
I love you all and thanks for sticking with me this year. I’ll check in again on New Year’s Eve. Peace & Blessings!
These posts have not been published in the order of importance, but I definitely saved the best for last. It was desperately on my heart to enjoy the King & Prince Beach & Golf Resort with my mother during the Word of Faith Love Center‘s At The Table Women’s Ministry Retreat. This is not your stereotypical Christian retreat. You know the ones… you’re not super saved unless you wake up at 5:00 AM to pray with everybody, attend 5 breakout sessions with 10 different speakers, 2 prayer meetings, then snot-nose-cry on the floor well after 1 AM. Not that I have never been a broken piece of clay at a spiritual event (because I have), but if you tell me that I’m attending a retreat, that is what I expect. I shouldn’t need a vacation when I return home. That’s what I wanted for my mother. After the decade she has had, a time to refresh and replenish her spirit was not part of the calendar. So, that’s exactly what we did and it was the really Good stuff of this year.
Allow your love level up.
I had attended the retreat twice before, but this year was different. It seemed like everything in the world tried to prevent me from going (just like the previous years), but instead of focusing on the obstacles, I was relentless about the outcome. My mother was coming with me no matter what. And guess what? She felt the same way. We double-teamed our discomfort with faith and action. We declared and decreed that we would not only attend the retreat but that we were going to have a fabulous time together. There was a season in our relationship where that was not our warcry, so I was so full to be able to say those words.
Love overrides obstacles every time. The obstacles will be there, but they don’t have to shine. Don’t be afraid to let love surpass the pain, the frustration, the history, the cracks, and bruises. My mother is the most resilient person you will ever meet. She greets challenges with a smile and hammer ready to work. Every day. Since I’ve been born, she’s been on the grind and it healed my soul to see her singing in the ocean, trying new foods, embracing her natural hair and new makeup, and connecting with other phenomenal women – including me. I love her more now than I ever have. Because we decided to “level up” our love, I am able to witness the expansion of her courage in real time and be an active participant of her regeneration. Love breeds love, so all we have to do is let Him breathe between us.
Peace & Thanks for listening! I appreciate you hanging with me again this year during #bloglikecrazy. It’s been a blast. See you next week on our regular Wind Down Wednesday schedule. God bless you all and enjoy your weekend, Sweetheart. I love you too. *hug*
My practice is located inside a chiropractor’s office. When I enter and look over to my left, I see my therapeutic massage license in a frame and I smile… every time. It warms my heart to see it sitting over there. Why? Because I’m able to see it in my massage suite and I couldn’t be more appreciative of the Blessing! During my interview, I remember thinking how calming it was to be there, not to mention to work with such authentically supportive people. So, yeah… upon every thought of it, I am flooded with gratefulness like the first day I saw it.
It’s proof that a dream is just a reality-in-waiting. I knew what I wanted to do, but not sure how it would happen. But that’s the beauty of it… I didn’t have to! If you want that to-do list to turn into a “done” list, you have to get moving on the parts that are within your reach. God will not do something that you can start, so stop using Him and His timing as a default excuse. Write it down, create S.M.A.R.T. goals, research the steps you can control instead of scrolling on your timeline for an hour… your dream is literally waiting for YOU. I believe that God gave you everything you needed the day you were born. You have a natural starter kit inside of you and once you get started, the journey will continue. Trust me… my license is the proof and so is my new work address.