the write wade

listening at the speed of life



Wednesday Wind Down: Reply All

Raise your hand if you have given a canned response to a question. Yeah, me too.

The easiest thing to do is give an auto-reply and keep walking, i.e. “yeah, I’m fine,” and “yeah, it’s all good.” Well, when I start getting the same questions over a certain period of time, I spiritually sit up. I interpret it as God testing my answers.

So, recently I’ve been asked the same question regarding my career plans and usually, my answer is pretty status quo. “Whatever the Lord says.” Since the same question keeps coming up in  different circles, it makes me think that the Lord wants me to check my responses. It’s true – my future is in the Lord’s hands; however, perhaps the responses should be more intentional instead of sounding like a robot. The same words can be said with life instead of sounding like a default reply. Also, I have to get comfortable with the plan God has set before me and get used to hearing it out loud. *shiver* Regardless of the situation, there’s a season for bulldozing through the muck and giving a ready-made answer to save your face from crumbling in tears; then, there’s a season to speak in faith of what God has shown you, even if your voice shakes.

Is God testing your responses? Are you set to complain by default? Do you deliver the  same response no matter how you feel? Are you being so holy that you don’t sound human? Do you giving canned responses to everyone you meet?

Sometimes a “reply-all” isn’t the best approach and at other times, it’s the oxygen keeping you alive. Ask the Lord which one should come out of your spirit when questions arise. Trust me – He’ll let you know.

Peace, Thanks for listening, and wind down safely, Sweetheart.


Wednesday Wind Down: Better

Hey Sweethearts.

As I sit here gearing up for a late night homework/study stint before bed, I thought of something I said to myself yesterday and hope that it helps you too.

I was tempted to say something out of character and in a split second, the following words flew out of my mouth, traveled into my ears and pressed the kill switch on what could have been a negative interaction:

You’re better than that. 

I had to remind myself of the Queen I am. Queens don’t bicker. They reign. They exert their authority and move on with their daily agenda.  They don’t stoop; they glide. So that’s what I did. I floated right over that situation and kept my mouth shut. What could have been a moment of spiritual quicksand ended up being a day of personal peace. The trajectory of my life was better because of that reminder and the chain of events that could have ensued did not have a chance to weigh down my royal adornment.

So tonight, as you wind down, remember that you’re better that – whatever that is for you. Maybe it’s smoking, drinking, cutting yourself, bingeing on porn… my Love, you’re better than that. Stop stooping and starting reigning in the authority God gave you.

Peace, Thanks for listening, and wind down safely.

Wednesday Wind Down: I Love You More

A short stop for your week

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday. *insert shiny confetti here*

While we were on the phone last night, saying our usual benediction of “I love you” and “I love you more,” I told her that she got me on that front. There’s simply nothing I can do to love her more than she loves me. Why? Because she loved me first. She knew me before I knew myself.

That’s a good reminder as your day may be coming to a close or as you’re preparing for a night shift. God will always love you more than you love Him. You can pour your heart out on a plate of prayers and benevolence and serve it to Him with the utmost sincerity and He will still love you in a way that is unmatched. He knew you before you got here (Jeremiah 1:5). Before you had a car, a degree, a child, an eating disorder, a panic attack, or an addiction – He loved you. So, that means whatever state you’re in, He will continue to love you. You are His and no one can change that. He will always say “I love you more” when you mess up, disgrace His name, and fall short of your promises to serve Him wholeheartedly. That’s the beauty of his Love. It’s all-inclusive and lasts forever.

So, needless to say, my mother will always 1UP me in this department. And God will always supercede her. And I’m loving that truth.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

Speak My Language


I was reading a devotional on YouVersion and Matthew 13:13 jumped out at me. He knows us all too well. Better than we know ourselves. And He know that we need parables, not a dissertation. After reading this scripture, all I could do was shake my head and say “Thank you, Jesus, for speaking my language.” My sentiment was two-fold and I am grateful that Jesus serves as both a bridge and a translator for my life.

#1 – It’s a blessing to have a Bridge!

Jesus knows that we won’t always get it right on the first go ’round… or the second, or third. We mess up, even with instructions in our hands. We screw up, even when we have help readily available. We toil over assignments even after we have been equipped. We have the tools, but sometimes there’s a glitch between the tool and the user. Thank God for a Savior that can speak our language so we can connect the dots! He helps us get the Message. He’s the Bridge. He’s the Link. He’s the Plug. And we have complete access to cross over into a better version of ourselves with His help.

#2 – He’s the Perfect Translator!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always pray in complete sentences. Sometimes my words are disjunct and dysfunctional. Sometimes I raise my voice and sometimes I sob with muffled sounds. Depending upon where I am, I may pray within my spirit without moving my lips. The best part of it all is that Jesus understands my language! When I can’t connect the dots of my emotions with the words of my soul, Jesus translates for me. He carries my sadness and my joy with Him as we walk together along this journey called life. He hears me and understands me. And I’m so glad about it!

There are certain types of prayer (intercessory, adoration, etc.), but ultimately it should be a lifestyle. Don’t ever be afraid to pray. It’s just a line of communication between you and your Creator, so start talking. You already have the Perfect Translator. *smile*

Peace & Thanks for listening!


Protect Your Merry!

Merry Christmas, Sweethearts! I know a photo of Serena may not be your thought of Christmas, but allow me to explain why it perfectly fits mine.

I had to protect my Merry yesterday (and for the last couple of weeks, for that matter.) I mean, I fiercely protected it like Serena Williams defending her side of the tennis court. A few people got clap-backs that they inadvertently signed up for. Rude shoppers, irresponsible drivers, and inconsiderate individuals/former friends in my circle could have sucked the happy right out of my bubble, but I swatted them like flies… and I have no remorse.

They didn’t know that I had to fight to gather my Merry.

I searched for its pieces while crawling through the barren forest of my spiritual winter. I scrounged. I foraged. I created little piles of joy around me, forming a 360-degree barrier between me and the world – me and the reality of my bank account, professional transition, and life changes. I replayed fond memories of my father instead of anticipating his absence on yet another holiday.  Four months later and I still patch the holes of my heart with thoughts of his smile to protect the cracks of my heart from the cold winds of grief. My piles of Merry were the only boundaries I had to keep the darkness from penetrating my oxygenated peace.

So, you had best believe, that I defended my happy with everything I had yesterday. To keep from crying sporadically in public places, I thought of his spirit dancing and I spoke to him.

“I love you.”
“I know.”
“I’m trying.”
“I miss you.”
“Thanks for everything.”

DP1745482_xmas_trees_Glass_OrnamentsTo keep from royally cussing someone clean out (as we say in the South), I retracted the sporty backhand that was perfectly poised under my tongue and said “Have a blessed day.” Friends that were jolly as long as I supported them have surprisingly fallen away like leaves from trees when reciprocity made sense. I stuffed a little happy there too so the wind couldn’t get in and make me bitter. I let the angels do their jobs. I summoned God the Father to comfort me and the Holy Spirit to keep aerating my Merry with reminders of Truth. I let a harvest of joy grow from seeds of gratefulness. As I stood in front of my heater, I thanked Him for warmth. As my feet hurt from working, I thanked Him for the opportunity. As I drove on lesser gas as I normally do, I thanked Him for my wheels. As I coughed and massaged my face from sinus pain, I thanked Him for life. When I ate leftovers, I thanked Him for provision. Upon receiving random messages from sweet friends, I released the expectation from hearing from certain ones and truly let the peace of God rule and wash the hurt away. These things fortified my Merry and I wasn’t letting anything rob me of it.

Maybe you’re like me. You’re holding onto your Merry with both hands and you’re trying to keep it alive in the midst of hardship, loss, or change. I pray that you protect it with everything you got – that you exhibit the grit needed to keep the light in your spirit on, that you regain the strength and courage to fight for your happy, fight for your joy, and fight for your right to live. Don’t be distracted by what you don’t have. Defend what you have and let God heal the cracks. Let the angels of protection do their jobs. Hold fiercely to the Truth that Jesus was born so you could live.

You are loved.
You are cared for.
You are the reason Christmas exists, and your Christmas is Merry because Merry is a state of mind.

I love you and Merry Christmas, Sweethearts! Peace & Thanks for listening!

Photo of Serena Williams courtesy of
Photo of Christmas tree ornaments courtesy of

Back To School Rules: 10 Things Every Student Should Know

It’s B2S time and man, do I love the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, the colorful display of dry erase markers, and the inspirational notebook covers. *sigh* I love being an educator and a nerd. It’s such a beautiful combination. *smile* Being in this profession means that I see a lot of preventable mistakes from students and that I’ve made some of my own.
Someone who is like a little sister to me asked for advice as she embarks upon her freshman year of college next week. I thought about my response later and decided to share it #ontheblog to aid others who are transitioning to higher education. Some come from the perspective my teacher’s desk and some from my student experience. Needless to say, I wish I had these reminders when I began, so I hope they help. Feel free to share your own as well!
10 Things Every Student Should Know
  1. “Go in there, get what you need, and get out.” That’s what my grandmother told me when I began my freshman year at the University of Alabama at Birmingham(also known as UAB; #GoBlazers). You literally don’t have time to do anything that isn’t accomplishing that goal.  Have fun, but get your work done.
  2. Enjoy meeting new people and understanding different cultures. College is where life-long friendships can start. Just be selective.
  3. Everyone doesn’t believe in God. Don’t be easily offended. Be firm in what you believe and stay focused. Listen closely to the heart of people and you’ll hear the truth in their voice. See the person, not the religion and love accordingly. We can all learn something from each other. From the Buddhist, I learned how to be still. From the Jehovah’s Witness, I learned determination. From the atheist, I learned how to think critically. From the Muslim, I learned devotion. And I’m still Christian after befriending them all.
  4. Make an appointment with your instructors at least twice during the quarter. Before midterms and after midterms is a good practice. It’s easier to give an F to a student you don’t know. I tell my students the following every quarter: I don’t give grades; I give opportunities. What you make is up to you. Don’t suck up, but make sure s/he knows your name.
  5. Be open to discovering more of who you are. Everyone starts out thinking they know everything. You’ll quickly find out that you don’t. Soak in as much as you can and watch your back along the way.
  6. Your name will be the only name on your transcript, not your friends, “friends,” or family. So, do what you have to do to maintain your character and your grades. If your best effort is usually on point, then a slip up is not detrimental enough to forfeit the instructor’s grace. But it’s hard to ask for mercy when all you have projected is laziness and absences throughout the quarter/semester.
  7. Be in charge of your own learning experience. Don’t wait for the instructor to give you information. Seek it yourself then show them what you’ve found that matches what they taught. This will also help you remember course content long-term instead of just memorizing information for the test.
  8. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and ask them early. Just be careful what they are because most professors hate repeating themselves. Instructors don’t want to overextend themselves at the end of the semester when you had ample opportunity to gain understanding for months.
  9. Study smartly! Study content weekly instead of cramming. Ask how the tests are constructed (multiple choice, essay, etc.) and if it will be timed. Then practice… just like you would at a rehearsal). This of the test as an opportunity to show off what you know, not a way to crash and burn. It’s just a big worksheet, not the apocalypse. Reframe the way you approach the exam and watch yourself shine!
  10. Count your losses and let them go. I’ve walked out of a class before with the truth of failure tapping me on my shoulder. I’ve turned in a test where most of the questions were unanswered. I’ve lost hours of work due to technological problems and couldn’t reconstruct the masterpiece I wrote in the computer lab. I’ve failed a pop quiz. It’s not the end of the world. Chalk it up to immaturity, poor time and energy management, go get yourself a smoothie, and make a plan. And, keep your old notes for next quarter.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Have an awesome fall quarter/semester!

Got some hardknock lessons you can share with new students? Share the wisdom below!

In the Moment

Good Day, Good People!

I had a great conversation with a girlfriend of mine on March 14, 2017. We established that fear of the good is real. What do I mean by the good? You know, the good stuff in life. That moment when you have a smile on your face so bright that it could burn the sun. The moment when all feels right with your world. The instant you close your eyes and tilt your head back. When the good happens, you know it. You feel it. Everywhere.

Unfortunately, you can have so many scars from the not-good (because there are some that feel the bad are just “life lessons”) that you expect it to come around the corner at any moment. Lurking like a burglar, the not-good appears to be ready to stand in your sunny spot on the concrete and steal your shine. Fear of the not-good coupled with a fear of the good can cripple the strongest of souls. You can be scared of success and fulfillment and the responsibility they could bring to your current and future statuses. You could also be terrified of the good holding hands with an invisible evil twin that could devastate your life in a single breath. Both fears are real. That’s what she and I discovered that night. That’s what we share. What a beautiful moment of transparency.

Fear has the capacity to suck in all the hope you had in your hands and leave you cold and isolated. It’s a sad transaction. The exchange of wanting more out of life and being anxious of the deficit of despair in return. Who doesn’t want to take a month long vacation? Or sail on a cruise ship more than twice in a lifetime? Or sit still in a cabin in the mountains and drink hot chocolate while gazing at God’s Handiwork? What would actually happen if in the moment, we absorbed the good? Not anticipating the bad news, the hiccups in the plan, or the no-show of the crowd, but soaking in the goodness of expectation? It can actually be sweet, you know. I’ve tasted it once or twice or three. Somewhere along the continuum of God’s favor, grace, and purpose lies me… scared of both ends. Then, there comes a time when you are simply sick of being afraid. You want to drink the sunshine with the biggest cup you can find in your heart. You want to dance the street (with or without rhythm) because you got the best news of your life. You want to walk into the interview like a victor, expecting to get the call back. It doesn’t matter if 5 minutes from that moment you get a phone call that’s nerve wracking. Maybe the sunshine in which you chose to stand can grow your tree of hope a little taller and set the roots a little deeper to withstand the winds of the storm ahead. You won’t know until you stand in the moment and the take the good and all she has to offer.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.

I’m convinced that the power, love, and discipline (also called “sound mind” in some versions) come from standing strong in the good and soaking it well beyond your pores and into your soul. Beyond that polarized fear, there’s all Three waiting to secure our hope, to anchor it down deeply in His omnipotence. That’s the power of the good. It serves as a reminder when the not-good comes.

So, what’s stopping me from hugging the good with both arms? Absolutely nothing.

What about you?

Peace & Thanks for listening!

Photo courtesy of The Chicago Now

I held it in my open-faced hands like gold from a Pharaoh’s tomb. It was here. Finally. And I was touching it with my soul.

The connection I felt when I slid my fingers across the slick cover… it was an intimate moment. I had done it. I had published a book. My book. The one that I started nine years ago after being laid off, wondering what I was going to do next. I thought I had found my dream job, but the garden in which it was located could no longer provide financial fruit. The book was my private little project. For awhile, no one even knew that I was writing. It was preciously scary. I didn’t want to contaminate the imaginative outcome I steadily played out in my head – girl writes book, book does well, girl gets paid, girl travels the world and girl works for herself. It was a ludicrous movie that replayed over and over again and I didn’t want it stop, so I didn’t tell anyone. I kept the tickets to myself and attended my cerebral theater alone throughout graduate school, until she came. Nancy. A she-fox that would rock my planet with the belief that my little secret movie could be realized. Here she was in Birmingham, Alabama with a publishing company, books, paintings, jewelry, music… and all I could think was “How?” and “Can I do it too?” She forced me to see beyond my sight and work toward my vision. I let her in and she got a front row seat to my secret movie and didn’t flinch. She smiled and I felt safe. She began to share with me and I with her. I had a gained a friend and Shero.

I’ll never forget the thorns and rocks along this road, the people I’ve gained and lost, the tears I cried in angst, the prayers I repeated, the fear hovering  nearby in trees of doubt, and the joy I felt when I typed END on the manuscript. The breath I held the first time I gave it to her seemed to last forever, just like it did when I heard she died. I stopped walking along the road and let the vines grow into my secret theater. I didn’t want to write and it pained me to think about it. Spiritual cobwebs caught my words every time someone asked “So, how’s your book going?” I dreaded the answer. It was deathly to think of cracking the doors open and letting sunshine in the wounded halls of my heart… but I did. Now, my book, the fruit of hands, was sitting in my lap and it was seducing me. I wanted to open it up and enjoy the exterior all at the same time. After holding it next to my heart for a few minutes, I laughed at the rear view of the road to fruition. I couldn’t believe how faithful God had been. When He said that He would bless the work of my hands, I didn’t fathom that some days my hands would feel empty and barren. That materializing my thoughts wasn’t a lie I kept feeding myself. I was a writer. Always had been. In the back of my grandmother’s car was always a writing stick and some paper. I even found out along the road that my biological father wrote poetry. So, my secret movie wasn’t so secret after all.

We can all be discouraged as we peer down the road ahead and see the shadows of the unknown. But we have to keep going. We have cling to the truth that we are seeds and seeds have to buried and/or watered in order to fulfill their purpose. The dirt will be isolating and the water will make us feel like we’re drowning, but we are made from both elements, so we will not die. We will grow. We will thrive. We will live out loud. After all, someone needs the fruit that we are destined to produce. Keep dreaming, keep walking, and keep working, my friend. You’re on a road, not in a box.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

*By the way, I found this daffodil beauty along my walk this morning. Sweet.

#bloglikecrazy: Day 28 – Detour

Another short stop to get you through the week. Hope it helps!

I was on my morning commute to work last week and on target to arrive early…so I thought. When I turned on GPS to check the traffic report, it indicated a 13-minute slow down. I was disappointed needless to say. Then, about 10 minutes into the drive, an alternative route option appeared and I accepted the helpful alert. It was quicker, but definitely unconventional. I never take that route to work because it has too many bottlenecks, but I trusted the notice and exited early before hitting the jam that I couldn’t see. There were more traffic lights and smaller streets, but no traffic. No bottlenecks. I was stupendously surprised. And what do you know… I totally missed the slowdown and got to work with 5 minutes to spare.

We must trust God in the detour.

That’s what I heard that morning. Just like I trusted my GPS to get me around the traffic jam, I trust the Father to lead me around, through, and over the difficult areas in life. I have to believe that His plan and sight far exceeds mine.

I thought of each time I thought I had it all figured out and how wrong I was. How many beautiful people I met on the road I didn’t want to travel. How much money I wasted trying to save a dying mode of transportation that I thought was a lifeboat.

The Truth is I can’t see what’s ahead. I can only guess. I can only estimate and plan accordingly. I can’t know what will happen, but God isn’t bound by time on Earth. He supersedes it effortlessly because He made it. So, it’s only practical that I trust His GPS over my calculated fears and prideful steps. Often times, we have both hands in those messy roadblocks. Other times, we can’t see them coming. Either way, listening to the voice of God will help us greatly. Simply put, He knows more than we do. He is trustworthy in the detours.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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