life lessons

Wednesday Wind Down: Respect the Ashes

Happy Wednesday Family!

I hope you’ve had a good week so far. If not, it just got better.

I knew what I wanted to write about tonight, then God leveled it up by connecting some dots I didn’t know existed – Ash Wednesday + Soulful Sunday.

Let me start with Sunday.

I did something I would have normally repelled me – I participated in a singing competition. To understand the gravitas of this statement, you would have to know me personally and only so much of that can be translated on this screen. In essence, I was shamed for singing when I was a child and it scarred me from singing in public. The anxiety grew visible through my shaky, sweaty hands to my unruly vibrato. Fast forward some years and I registered for vocal lessons as a means of healing this wound. Our first session she lifted me with encouragement and affirmation. “You can sang, Baby. You have a gift.” I didn’t believe her, but I really wanted to.

*My instructor, mentor, and pillar –*
*International Vocalist, Actress, and Educator*
*Ms. Tena Wilson*

Every week, I went to class swaddled in insecurity and she unraveled them note-by-note. I embraced the opportunity for freedom to heal that space, then the pandemic occurred. Virtual vocal and music theory classes became part of my self-care regimen. I cried. I sang. I laughed. I learned.

Fast forward to this past Sunday when I stood in front of people physically and virtually and sang God Bless The Child by Billie Holiday. I’m tearing up as I’m typing this right now because it took healing to get here and those words embody that for me. The winner and I were separated by three-tenths of a point, but I left that stage on top of the world. I was proud of me and I could stand in the Sonshine unapologetically. I was grateful for the opportunity and support. Grateful for the warmth of confidence that only God can give. I made new connections and hugged those that have lasted for years. It was a beautiful moment of growth and I beamed all the way back to work. I had a mobile massage client. *lol*

So, let’s where today comes in.

The ashes.

A traditional phrase for ceremonies surrounding Ash Wednesday is “Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return.” When we reflect upon our mortality and surrender our humanity to our supernatural purpose, beauty happens. Springtime can happen. As the article mentions (click the link), the Christian period of “Lent comes from the Middle English word lente, which means springtime.” How befitting that we render down our lives in order for life to grow. Introspection, fasting, meditation, and prayer are forms of sacrifice for the springtime. Soulful Sunday is just one example of how God can exchange beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3) but we have to give him the crumbles first. Surrender is required. My tears of inadequacy watered the seeds of creativity in my heart. My vocal instructor’s divine mix of gentleness and discipline was the sunshine on my frosty soil.

The dust is where we’re from and it’s also where we grow.

As we prepare for 40 days of spiritual reflection, strength, and sacrifice, I encourage you to bring your ashes to the altar. God can do more with them than you can. When we leave this earth, let it be said that we lived. On purpose and fully engaged. Let it be said that we did not waste our tears and our seeds sprouted into their intended design. That we respected the process and walked the journey to completion. That we remembered we were beautiful in His sight.

Respect the ashes, Family. We all got some and they are all necessary.

Peace & Blessings to your week and I love y’all.

CJW

February 22, 2023 2

Thursday Love: Battery Life

I fell asleep with the lights and laptop on last night, Family, but I wasn’t going to miss your short stop for the week. It’s less than 500 words, so let’s get into it!

Do you let your phone battery die often?

My mother was the prime example of this behavior. In the middle of a conversation, the call would end abruptly. She would catch it before it died sometimes and give me a quick benediction. One day, I said “Ma, how do you let your phone die in the house? You have all of the electricity you need and you won’t plug it in. That’s hilarious.”

She chuckled. So did I. Then we were cackling like cartoon hyenas.

“I’m just sayin’, Ma… you pay for it – every month!”

We laughed until our eyes leaked with tears.

“You know, you’re right! I can’t say nothin’ but you’re right!” she hollered between laughing spells.

*Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com*

When you think about it, we do this too. Well, I rarely let my phone die, but some good things have perished because I didn’t plug into an opportunity. Networking events host people that can assist your dreams. Social settings yield fertile ground for collaborations to flourish, but fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or downright shyness can choke you. I would be in a room full of outlets and let my proverbial phone die. I would talk myself out of simply opening my mouth.

But, I’ve been changing that since last year.

It’s resulted in speaking engagements, new clients, new colleagues, budding friendships and upcoming travel. I just had to plug into the room – more importantly, plug into the moment. I couldn’t keep making excuses and being cozy in my silo. Life was in the same space as my heartbeat. Opportunity was floating around me like a graceful dancer. All I had to do was connect. Something so simple seemed so far away as I wanted to reach out with crippled emotions, but I did it over and over again until it became soft like an old sweater.

*Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com*

What are you not plugging into, Family? Where is life budding and why are you letting your potential die? Are there outlets in your community, place of worship, workplace, or coffee shop? I’ve always been great at making genuine personal connections, but I’m learning how to crush negative self-talk when it comes to professional opportunities. Maybe you need a little nudge in both arenas. That’s OK. Now you know.

Let’s continue to grow in this Earth pot together. There’s a lot of battery life to power us all.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.

February 16, 2023 0

Wednesday Wind Down: So Beautiful

Hi, Family!

Imagine the following:

You’re sitting at your work desk, typing out the dreams you hope to produce while listening to a jazzy playlist.

You feel a little down with the possibility that you won’t see all of them come true. Shallow breaths flow underneath your N95 mask as you struggle through the emotional wave.

You stay distracted enough to walk past the detours of doubt, but you still feel that you should be further along in life. So to prevent from diving into that rabbit hole, you turn the music up a little and keep bobbing your head to the groove. The tapping of the keystrokes serve as pink noise and you’re officially in the zone.

Like a soft tap on the shoulder, a sweet familiar chord leaks through your earbuds. Your fingers pause. Your eyes close and a smile escapes your soul and rests lightly on your face.

Out of nowhere, an unexplainable warmth showers you from the top of your head to your feet underneath the desk. Your fingers soften and your doubts suddenly seem miniature. And you let yourself bathe in it.

That’s what I did.

I let myself float in the words of that song. Then it began to transcribe differently onto my heart. The love song no longer was about a paramour – it felt like my Father was reminding me of how special I was. The lyrics were replaced with a paternal love that was rich, real, and deep. I felt undeniably loved. Undeniably confident. Comforted, beautiful, and exquisite. I felt priceless like any princess should be.

It was an exceptional moment that filled me up at work in less than 5 minutes. While typing out my dreamy plans and feeling inadequate. The affirmation was all I needed to remember who I was more than what I did.

That’s what Love should leave you with –fullness and freedom.

It’s not about how size of the gift and how you can flaunt it on social media.

Love affirms and covers our weak areas. Love doesn’t leave a deficit. It warms our souls when life feels cold and apathetic. We don’t like to admit it, but it’s easy to get distracted by disappointment. You don’t get the call, the date, the ring, etc. It’s only because we expect from someone that isn’t designed to fill us eternally. So, we sulk around holidays like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and New Year’s if we are not spending time with people or receive their attention. In reality, it’s also hard to admit they may not value us in return.

“Love doesn’t leave a deficit.”
– C.J. Wade

You should never be a second-thought and your heart health is not contingent upon someone else.

So, depressurize Valentine’s Day. Just enjoy the Tuesday and love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31). Besides… next thing you know, it will be Wednesday and we’ll meet back here with 50% off candy.

You are so beautiful because God made you to be a masterpiece. Those who do not see you are simply blind to your wonder.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.

February 9, 2023 0

Wednesday Wind Down: I’m Falling For It

Happy New Year, Family! (Yes, it’s still new.)

I hope your January went well and your February is falling in alignment.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a jam-packed so far. A lot of good, a wave of grief, jolts of anticipation, some foggy fatigue, and a lot of “what the what?” The second month of the year is fresh and I’m already wondering what else is in store.

From my continued health goals to smashing through internal brick walls with courageous fists, I’m in 2023 with my whole heart. All of me.

And that’s not a comfortable arena, but I’m willing to walk forward in everything God is calling me to do.

*Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com*

It’s official. I’ve fallen in love with my journey.

The curves, the mountaintops, the forests, the depths… all of it. All of me.

And if I unfasten my armor a little, you’ll also find traces of fear. Christians hate to admit that, but I don’t mind saying it. God already knows its there, so why not? Both co-exist in my chest at any given moment. It’s the mix of knowing your marching orders and still feeling butterflies as you take the first step. It’s taking off your security blanket and feeling the chill before the warmth.

It’s saying “OK, let’s go.”

At this point in my life, I’ve finally fallen in love with faith. I never thought I would say those words. The open space over the line of trust can be intimidating if you forget who’s on the other side… the better version of yourself. The purpose smoldering inside of your heart. The beautiful blooms waiting to break forth from the garden of your soul.

My prayer is that you fall in love with the grit because you know it’s going to make you shine.

That you fall in love with the mud because it’s where the seeds live.

I pray you hold God’s hand and fall in love.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. 🙂

CJW

February 2, 2023 2

Wednesday Wind Down: Application

Hi, Family!

Thank you so much for being patient with my posting gaps this year. I’ve been realigning my lifestyle and it has been WHEW! Effective yet difficult. That’s actually what I want to talk to you about.

When it’s done properly, application will ruffle your feathers and question everything you know.

It will straighten you up and make you walk properly. It will wreck your familiar and reconstruct a new normal.

And that’s what it’s been doing to me.

While I was used to writing you every Wednesday before bed, my body demanded more rest. My mind yelled for change. My spirit heard the divine directive to write earlier in the day and sometimes, days prior. “But where do I fit that in?” I asked numerous times. “I’ll just write it Wednesday night.” Yeah, we see how that turned out. What you don’t see are the multiple blog drafts where I started the message and fell asleep in the middle of production. What good did that do?

*Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com*

That’s not application. That’s not where growth lives.

And I’ve been allowing God to rearrange everything – from my mental furniture to my spiritual operating system. I would love to tell you that, in October, I have all the new gears running but that is a big fat NO.

I’m still working on it.
I’m still digesting.
I’m still getting acclimated.
And I’m all in for the application.

Imagine how spiritually strong we would be if we digested every scripture we heard from every sermon. Now, imagine how gluttonous or emaciated some of us are from not allowing the Word of God to nourish our spirits. It’s crazy, isn’t it? To envision a physical representation of both spiritual extremes. To fathom the notion that we are not growing to our purposeful capacity. That as many YouTube sermons, Instagram sermon clips, bible studies, and inspirational books we consume, we are still somehow unwell. Unstable. Angry. Confused. Hurt. Longing. Wandering. Scared.

Allow me to share what I heard this week –

“You can know scripture all day long, but until you apply it – you don’t know it.“
– heard 10/17/22 @ 2:00 AM –

You can’t apply the Word like makeup. It isn’t meant to cover and disguise. It is meant to clean.

In the world of make-up artistry, an applicator is used to place or spread make-up on the body without transference to and from the make-up artist (MUA). The Word of God is designed to seep into the deepest parts of you, not spread across the surface. Until you apply it, it will sit on the surface of your heart for decades. Big Christian conferences and all.

Application requires vulnerability and annihilation of pride. It requires the ability to open your heart to change. It’s a statement. Even when you apply for a job, you’re opening your skills and schedule to meet the need of an employer. The application is a gateway agreement that states “I will share myself with you and you will share yourself with me.”

I used to tell my students that until they could explain the concept to someone, they didn’t understand it. And if they didn’t understand it, they didn’t know it. Until I saw application, I wasn’t convinced they absorbed the information. I believe God wants us to understand His Love beyond memorizing verses. I admonish you (and me) to submit your application to the Word of God. Make the statement. Surrender the contract to let the Scriptures live in your life. Only then will change come true.

That’s what I’m doing, and it’s uncomfortable and invigorating. Just like we develop physically, I am determined to constantly develop spiritually. It’s worth it. I don’t want to die in a stunted state.

My prayer for you is to be open to true spiritual growth. I pushing through the dirt just like you.

So, what are you working on?

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love you all.

October 20, 2022 2

Wednesday Wind Down: The Breath of History

Hi, Family!

I’m still on high from last night. I had to throttle down enough to share a slice of it with you and make it a short stop (500 words or less). Here we go!

“And what did you say your name is?”

“Christina… Christina Wade, like wade in the water.”

“Ah, Christina…” she stretched her hand toward me and smiled beautifully. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

I looked down at her hand, snatched a quick breath, and smiled too. Then I remembered handshake etiquette 101 – don’t leave the person hanging. Her hand was delicate but strong. Her eyes were bright. I was fascinated at the opportunity to experience Ms. Ruby Shuttlesworth Bester, daughter of the late Civil Rights Activist Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth. Don’t worry, this all happened in a nanosecond.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too. Thank you for everything.”

I’m never star struck. I’ve always been able to see the humanity in public figures, but tonight I touched history and I felt it. The same as when I toured Talladega College in Alabama as a Black History Month adventure and when I sat in Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

History. Living history.

It elevated my senses and I didn’t want to run over the gravitas. There were community leaders, civil rights activists, non-profit champions, educators, authors, lawyers, artists, neighbors, and more. I shook their hands and we exchanged rich dialogue about hosting history in schools and in our hearts. With the artwork of Rico Gatson at the helm, everyone in the room beamed with the energy of Shuttlesworth’s progressive movement.

When I saw the image of his mural on the screen, it felt like wings of inspiration were hovering over every conversation. Illuminating us just like its subject. The room vibrated with goodness. Past met present and the future was born as we left the Birmingham Museum of Art.

I touched history last night, and it touched me… again.

And it pushed me further into my destiny to ensure its breath lives on.

*Thank you, Panelists. You sowed in us all.*

I leave you with this question – What part of history can you breathe life into? I know the sentence structure is incorrect, but that’s how we talk to ourselves when we have real conversations within.

Pray.
Breathe.
Listen.
Receive.

Then, go forth and change history. The future is waiting on you. On us.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

August 4, 2022 0

Wednesday Wind Down: Growth Rate

Hi, Family!

Here’s a shortstop for your week (500 words or less).

Seeds grow at different times.

I walked in the Birmingham Botanical Gardens recently and heard that in my spirit. It was like a gift I didn’t see coming. I looked around and saw all of the different types of trees, grasses, and flowers and noticed how harmoniously they lived together. I was in wonder enough, then that sentence dropped. Wow, I replied internally, that’s so true. We get so caught up on where everyone else is in life that we forget we’re seeds too and we are on separate timetables. There’s no race to the finish. No checkpoint to reach before our competition catches up. There’s not even competition around you – it’s in you. The more you focus on the growth track of those around you, you’ll stunt the growth in you… but I won’t digress. Let’s keep going. Here’s the next thing I heard.

We need to let a seed be a seed.

Seeds don’t grow into trees overnight. They take time and the right conditions. They require nutrients from the air and the soil. So that means we do too. Our environment affects our growth mindset – words said around us (air) and where we’re planted (soil). We must be patient with ourselves and each other because only God knows the timelines. He is the Master Gardener and He knows exactly what we need to grow to fill what is needed in this world. In the process, He also grows us up… and we can’t rush that. What parent looks at their children and say “Tommy, it’s March. Your sister learned to write her name in March, so you have until the end of the month.” Umm… nobody. Furthermore, you have some growing to do in an area that is probably behind someone that you know and love. We’re all seeds and I thank God that He knows what each seed needs for each season. I would totally messed this world up with too much water, sunlight, or something else. *lol*

I hope you’re having a good week. My prayer is that you are filled with pauses that make you wonder. They’re good for the soul. And if you’re in Alabama, visit the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. It’s a beautiful place. The pictures in this post came from my camera.

I love y’all. Stay well out there. Peace & Thanks for listening!

July 28, 2022 2

Wednesday Wind Down: So, here we are…

Hi, Family.

It’s been a minute. A lot has happened since the last post in May. While I could try to catch you up on everything, I’d rather tell you where I am for now. It’s shorter. I also added my first audio clip to help the cause. 🙂

MIND

I have the clarity I prayed for.

I know where I am and where I’m going in all facets of my life.

At times, it’s electrifying and outrageously overwhelming. It feels amazing, yet I still say “How in the world am I going to do all of this?” Like a child looking at a perfectly seasoned porterhouse steak, I’m enticed, intrigued, and also anticipating about how to proceed with what’s before me. The good part is my mind is focused and unclouded on my calling and I’m humble enough to accept the Father’s daily bread. I literally ask “OK, what do you want me to do right now?” The opposite of my long-term planning self. It’s uneasy sometimes, but it’s good. It’s good to hold God’s hand and take baby steps. It keeps my mind from getting too full too often. Just last week, I had to pause and breathe in the middle of walking my dog. Each time, it was evening and the sky was clear enough to see every star. I pretended to throw my anxieties up to the dark blue velvet in between them. “I can’t do anything with this. You’re going to have to help me,” I said aloud. Add that to monthly therapy sessions with an amazing professional and that’s what’s been happening to keep my mental health, well… healthy. Bite-size isn’t so bad. Try it!

*Sammy was on watch while I prayed. I love my dog.*

BODY

Short version – my body is healing well. Faster than I expected. The health choices I made in November are finally paying off. According to my massage therapist (who has wisdom in her pants pockets), my musculoskeletal system is finding a new baseline of function.

And I can feel it.

I had a blast with Birmingham Public Libraries + UAB ArtPlay!

In the past 45 days, I taught several step dance workshops and performed twice with no knee brace, no asthma, and no back pain. Don’t get it twisted – I still had to ice my knees and stretch to minimize soreness, but nothing like I used to have to do. I was accustomed to tolerating pain at high levels to function and work daily. No painkillers, just praying and pretending as much as I could. It became normal to wake up and go to bed hurting for almost 3 decades. Now, if all goes well, I’ll be released from medical care next month – just in time for my birthday. *smiling* I’m so excited to feel a new normal. To learn what my normal actually is. Still working on quality sleep and eating breakfast every day, but my nutritionist is a huge help. I recommend getting one if you can – gamechanger. Keep praying for ya girl over here. We’re headed in the right direction!

SPIRIT

Listen. My spirit is fortified. Everything isn’t going perfectly, but there is so much resolve inside of me that it doesn’t even matter. I created a new morning time to pray, listen, and meditate because my work schedule changed. So far, so good. Next, I need some serious download time. That’s what I’m working on right now. I got it in January and now I feel like I’m at halftime and the coach is calling me to the sideline for updates before the clock runs out. I have a vacation coming up this fall, but I feel a serious swelling of anticipation like God is waiting on me to be still and alone sooner than that. So, I just carved out space to hear from him without the restriction of a timed agenda. And if He requires more, I’m ready to make that happen because it’s that serious. I can’t navigate this new personal and professional space without Him at the helm. After all, that’s what this blog is all about – listening to the voice of God BEFORE all hell breaks loose. I’m determined to do just that.

I was set on keeping this post under 1,000 words and I just grazed 700 with that last paragraph. Woohoo! Reach out and tell me how you’ve been. I missed y’all!

Peace & Thanks for listening and stay well out there!

July 21, 2022 0

Thursday Love: Assembly Required

Good Evening, Family!

This post has a couple of layers, but the main idea is this – Compassion and Accountability can co-exist.

For some reason, we think the are opposing forces in every situation. This mirage of dissonance manifests into online arguments, silent family tables, and disjointed communities. What gets left in dust is our humanity and our faith. Let me explain. It may sting a little bit, but this is safe place to grow.

The first thing you think of is “Well, what did they do to deserve it?” when you hear of tragedy, you’re acting just like the Pharisees in the book of John, Chapter 8. Do you know what makes me chuckle about that story? The facts that they called Jesus “Teacher” when they ran up on Him (woman in hand) and the fact that Jesus had a whole Jeopardy-waiting-theme-music moment before they filed out one by one. Seriously, I scoff every time I read those parts.

Why?

Because you would think the Pharisees would know better than to try to trap Jesus in a social and religious debate, but no… they didn’t. Just like today, they wanted to see what He would say so they could claim He wasn’t who He was. They were determined to make the issue bigger than the Savior. Personally, I would have taken that waiting period before He answered as a hint to leave… quietly… right then. Something inside of me would have had to click in a different gear to say “Hold up. I think He’s giving me a chance to correct myself.” Anywho…

If you have an insatiable need to consume news and gossip, check your intentions.

Are you praying for the murdered and the murderers?
Are you praying for public officials?
Are you involving yourself in local avenues of service?
Are you listening to your hurting friends?
Are you making sure you aren’t part of the problem?

What are you doing with all of that information anyway? Morning, mid-day, evening, and late night, what you’re really doing is getting full of yourself. I’m not saying you should pretend like nothing is happening, but I am very much saying that you should not be consumed by all that swirls around you.

Look on the flip side and survey your intentions in consuming faith-building content. Newsflash: It’s not for Sundays only.

What a concept, right? I know! It sounds simple until we’re bombarded on Monday with an annoying co-worker or when someone cuts us off during our morning commute. Family, we are required to apply what we learn from those sermons, podcasts, life groups, Bible studies, YouTube videos, etc. All of that should amount to something. Everything. More than the things of this life. We should be growing to greater. Growing into the best version of ourselves.

As seasons change, so should we. So should we develop and stretch and evolve.

Take all of that Word you get every week and curate it into a life force that this world needs. A beacon for your street. People’s hearts are aching out here… to see the beauty in the mess. To see something better than what’s crumbling in front of them.

I’ll say it until my last breath – You can’t say you’re a Christian and not act like Christ. Seeing hurt anywhere should hurt you because Jesus’ compassion was epic. He could have easily grilled the woman in John 8, but instead, He showed her compassion before He issued accountability (verse 11).

The last time I checked, we’re required to work together down here. You don’t have to like everything your co-worker likes or agree with everything your neighbor does, but you do have to love them. Even Paul said to live peaceably with everyone as best you can. He knew it would be difficult. And it’s hard for me to watch us not doing that in such a time as this. We would rather use buzz words and jargon instead of talking to humans like they’re related to us.

Be mindful of how you’re representing Christ out here. The world is watching. Your friends are watching. Your family is watching. Imagine how full we could actually be if we emptied ourselves first? Imagine how powerful God’s Love could be through us if we implemented every verse we read, every song we sang, and every Biblical message we’ve heard in our lifetimes thus far. Now imagine it starting with you… today.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Family! Stay well out here and I’m rooting for you!

May 19, 2022 0

Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

Tag

Wednesday Wind Down: Respect the Ashes

Thursday Love: Battery Life

Wednesday Wind Down: So Beautiful

Wednesday Wind Down: I’m Falling For It

Wednesday Wind Down: Application

Wednesday Wind Down: The Breath of History

Wednesday Wind Down: Growth Rate

Wednesday Wind Down: So, here we are…

MIND

BODY

SPIRIT

Thursday Love: Assembly Required

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