Reflective Moments

#bloglikecrazy: Day 9 – Band-Aids or Surgery

“We keep changing the chefs never noticing the oven is broken.”
– T. D. Jakes, Sermon: Destiny Flocks Together

Disclaimer:
This isn’t a political piece. It’s bigger than that.
So, since you’re here, you might as well come on in and keep reading. *smile*

I was teaching my Introduction to Communication class today and something flew out of my mouth like a free bird. I can always tell when the Holy Spirit takes over because the faces of my students look like someone punched them in gut and the echo of my words surprise me when I hear them.

We were discussing conflict resolution and communication styles. The students’ conversation turned into how the value of the relationship and a person’s stage in life can affect conflict resolution strategies. Then, I said something that made the environment change. I’ll paraphrase below since I don’t remember the exact wording.

“Sometimes, you have to admit that there are no more band-aids in the box and it’s time to agree to do the surgery. It may not be a pretty quick-fix, but if you have placed a high value on the person and the long-term health relationship, you have to agree to do the work and have a common goal of achieving a shared understanding.”

I felt it. It was a slight shift where my students thought about their personal situations. So, I gave the “pregnant pause” before continuing my lesson plan.

aieabzgi4 — *Clip Art courtesy of ClipArtBest.com*

Depending on the value you both have placed on each other and the relationship (whether platonic, familial, or romantic), the conflict resolution outcome will vary. And just because the outcome isn’t a win-win (which isn’t nearly as feasible as people think in most cases), it doesn’t mean the issue was not resolved. Perhaps you have extended every option in your emotional storage and the other person is stuck on fueling the fire. The resolution is to accept the loss of the relationship type and get used to a new normal (lose-lose). The outcome doesn’t always have to be rosy to be the best option.

Let’s take this communication theory further. In the case of our most recent presidential election, I found Pastor T. D. Jakes’ quote most fitting. At times, we place too much responsibility on one person to fix our problems. Just like a surgeon has technicians and a team of doctors to consult, so does anyone that sits in the president’s seat. Unfortunately, just like in a medical situation, we put an unrealistic divinity on one human to heal our diseases. As Pastor Jakes said, we never put the microscope on the systemic leaks that need to be addressed. We simply change the person in the seat. On a personal level, instead of surgery, we opt for the band-aid of another partner, another friend, another job, another state, and all the while, the best option is to dig deeper for the source of the problem and attempt to resuscitate our lives.

Since we’re all created by the same God, shouldn’t we all get along? Shouldn’t everything be perfect and no surgery be necessary? hmph. Take into account the following verse:

1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 4:1-6

Everyone is living in a tainted shell; therefore, we have to do the work to keep peace abounding in our communication…and in our country. Diligence is necessary. Patience is a prerequisite. Tolerance is essential. We’re in a time where the band-aids are peeling because the problems are too great and the blood is running freely. Let’s do better and choose wisely in speech and in our political footsteps.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

November 9, 2016 1

#bloglikecrazy: Day 8 – It Feels Good

1478664386337-982563926 — I like to write down my number(s).

No matter the political climate, I always get a natural high on voting day.

There’s something different in the air and I take it all in. Sure, people have putrid intentions and spew malicious words back and forth, but I walk in that designated voting location like a boss. Too many bodies hung on trees for this right, so I vote as I please.

I’ve taught students about the Trail of Tears and the Middle Passage and watch their immaturity show when I asked them to put pen to paper. At times, it made me angry. And yes, I’ve walked into a voting booth with a chip on my shoulder heavier than a cannon ball. I also must admit that I’ve secretly begged for someone to cross me sideways during any part of the voting process just so I could inflate my pride after marking my ballot.

Then, I got over myself. Prayer makes one do that, you know.

I asked God to make me smile with gratefulness instead of a scour and a side of gravitas. It’s a serious freedom to choose one’s leaders, but it doesn’t have to be muddy and grotesque. Everyone thinks they’re right and everyone gets the opportunity to say so. That’s a blessing (and a curse sometimes, but still).

When I look at my voting sticker, I instantly start beaming. I know what it took to get it, especially when I vote in the very spot where others were denied. I will never take that lightly. Their feet were blistered from marching and they obliterated sexist demands in order for me to hold my head high today. Threats didn’t shut their mouths, so why should the smallmindedness of others close mine?

It’s a blessing no matter who the candidates are and what are amendments are up for review. I have the right to choose. And it feels good. Impeccably good.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

November 8, 2016 0

#bloglikecrazy: Day 7 – Pray for Rain

I saw something beautiful on the news today. A rarity, I know, but such a convicting sight it was.

My state is enduring a drought that has affected its agricultural production and marine life. Farmers are hurting financially and hoping that rain will come in time to rectify the damage of the dryness. It’s painful to see their livelihood be as parched as the soil beneath their feet. Each day, the meteorologists deliver the same news – beautiful sunny day, maybe some clouds, no rain. A disheartening report when you’re watching your crops die. I thought to myself – Too much sunshine is just as deadly. Rain or shine, we complain either way.

Then, I saw the beautiful thing.

A group of Muslim men and women had gathered to pray for rain. Prayer mats were sincerely used in the background while the Imam of a local Islamic society spoke on their behalf. The ritualistic gestures of the covered women resembled a secret poetry spoken between them and God in untainted prayer. The leader then said words that matched the beauty my eyes beheld on the television screen-

“We show our love for our country and our people and we expose ourselves to the mercy of God asking Him to send rain to all of us. We’re all in the same boat and all facing the same challenge of drought and as American Muslims, we are doing our own part in praying to God asking for relief because we share the concern like everybody else.”
– Imam Dr. Sameh Asal (read the full article from WBRC, Fox 6 here)

With so much hatred and ignorance in the world, I was oxygenated by the news story. As a Christian, I was convicted. How many times have we complained about thunderstorms and dreary overcast days? Personally, I love rainy days, but that’s definitely not the norm. When it’s summer, it’s too hot. In the winter, it’s too cold. Too windy. Too humid. Too this. Too that. It’s sad that a creation would be fickle about another creation, both not in control of the other.

What happened to being grateful for sun and rain?
*insert that Walter Hawkins gospel classic here*

What happened to praying for what we need instead of wishing for it and complaining when we don’t get it in our timing? We may not have the same religious beliefs, but I respect their humility to ask God for a need that affects us all. Here they were…such beautiful people engaging in unity within a country that sometimes disrespects their practices.

One need. One accord. One community. May we all respect that trinity as well. May we all mimic that practice during the personal droughts of our lives. May we pray for rain.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

November 7, 2016 4

#bloglikecrazy: Day 6 – What If I Don’t Want It

If I gave you a gift, you could turn it away. It is your right not to accept it. My hope is that you would delight in the gesture and the spirit in which it was given. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?

The gift God has placed inside of you, however, doesn’t quite work that way. You have valuable gifts that were customized for you. Even if you choose not to use them for His glory, you still have them and they are just as potent. Packaged perfectly in your skin tone, vocal pitch, intellect, and shoe size is an infallible you that is amazingly designed to give gifts to others.

Let’s say that you hate cooking, but everyone loves to eat your food because it tastes delicious. You have a gift that others enjoy even if you never own a restaurant. Let’s go deeper, shall we? A drug dealer has numerous skills that could be used in corporate America. Inventory, personnel, and time management are gifts everyone can’t claim. To be successful in the streets, one must possess certain skills. Those entrepreneurial gifts could be easily transposed to owning and operating a legal business. Even if the person never leaves her/his criminal lifestyle, the gifts are still there and are still potent.

God has placed awesome presents within a package called YOU.

As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

–1 Peter 4:10 NASB

God knew what He was doing by fashioning you with His magnificence. Your gifts are yours to give, but they can’t be voided. If that were so, then His seed would not yield a harvest and everything God planted has continued to grow.

So, the next time you think your gifts aren’t great or that you don’t want to walk in your purpose, remember that you came to this earth customized to give. Your gifts are divinely inevitable, so pour them out. That’s what they were made for.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

November 5, 2016 0

#bloglikecrazy: Day 5 – Turned, not Stirred

How many times have you meant what you said, but didn’t mean to say it aloud?

This produces a rather sticky situation. On one hand, you have the badge of pride in saying how you feel in real time, which cuts down on the “he said/she said” debacle. On the other hand, this brash flow of realism causes a domino effect of emotions that cannot be reversed.

Let’s look at it through the eyes of weather. You can redirect a brewing storm of heated sensitivity or stir confusion into a conversation and create a wildfire.

Your words have the power to make peaceful waves or fatal tsunamis. It’s all in your mouth.

Sometimes the frustration we feel can add so much mud that both perspectives get infected and neither person can see clearly. The next thing you know, what started off as a simple misunderstanding evolves into an earthquake where intentions are swallowed up and forgotten.

But at some point, the Truth should float to the top, right? After the debris has damaged the walls of love you’ve built, shouldn’t Truth have a place to sit? That kind word that’s been whispering in the background of your heart deserves a seat at the table. She has something to say. She’s taken note of the ingredients used in the situation and has decided that a turn is due in the recipe of reconciliation, not a stir.

So, let her speak instead of your anger or pride. Allow a change in your normal and provide the room for her to turn the conversation toward the Truth. Besides, most situations taste better turned, not stirred.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

November 5, 2016 0

#bloglikecrazy: Day 4 – Intimacy is IN

After reading Psalm 139

Wow.

You know everything.

Sometimes, I forget that.

In all of my humanity, I try to remind you of things I deem important. The urgency of replaying the days’ events and life’s intolerable moments weighs heavier than your grace at that time. It’s sad, actually… how I discredit your omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence. I know you don’t mind my questions and misunderstandings of your commands, but Your ways are still far above mine.

I cannot compare my thoughts with Yours.

You knew everything before it was everything. You know every detail of my life… every artery near my heart, every exhale I release. You don’t need a notice. You created it. You created me. Even the parts I don’t like. They serve a purpose too.

So, search all of me since You know it all. Search the dark places I try to hide from You. Clear out the cobwebs and scrub the hardened layers around my scars. You are and will always be the perfect lover of my soul and I need to trust You more. I need to let you IN.

Intimacy is what we crave from others, but rarely give to You. There’s no way to relinquish control to someone else in a romantic relationship without allowing You in first. It’s the opposite of how You made us. Inside of our hearts is where You belong and where You long to be. You don’t need us; You want us. You want in…and being intimate with You starts within me.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

November 3, 2016 1

#bloglikecrazy: Day 3 – Something’s Wrong

When my nose doesn’t like something, it let’s me know. What signals are you ignoring?

Your body is a beautiful machine.

It’s created with bells and whistles that go off when things aren’t performing properly. If something is wrong, your body acts like a car and exhibits visual indicators and/or sounds to tell you to “pull over.”

But what if you ignore the signs? What if the check engine light stays on and you think it’s a mistake or you ignore it? What if you, my dear, are the abandoned car passed on the side of the road?

Too often our spiritual system gives us alerts that we ignore. The Holy Spirit that lives within you is that system. He was placed in you to be a guide, a comforter. Most say intuition and I believe we all have that compass in us as well, thanks to the Master Manufacturer. But, Christians have an upgraded version called the Holy Spirit. This gift provides us with the guardrails and night lights needed to navigate through this life at optimum levels. Without this system, we wouldn’t function the way God intended.

You are made with strengths, quirks, and preferences that make you the most beautiful creation to grace this earth.

It is imperative to perform maintenance on your life by adhering to the signals. Pain indicates healing or abnormality. Strain is a caution that you’ve gone too far. Tears are an overflow of the soul, both in good and bad situations. When something’s wrong, you should watch, listen, and take note, not drive in dysfunction and be surprised when your quality of life decreases.

For today, I pray that you check your system and allow the maintenance process to take its course. Maybe it’s as simple as drinking more water or as intricate as writing a letter to someone who has offended you. Either way, you’ve gotten the signal. Now follow up with the Master Manufacturer and follow through with the process.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

November 3, 2016 0

#bloglikecrazy: Day 2 – I Don’t Wanna

Guess what I heard today. *sigh*

“At some point, you gotta suck it up.”

If you’re like me, you’re used to being strong even when you don’t feel like it. Requests fulfilled, electronically attached, and problem-solving skills at the ready. But, ocassionally, the bough breaks and I feel like a 5-year-old. A pouty little human that doesn’t want to carry out her grown up duties for a few minutes. There’s no sugarcoating it when I get that way. I just don’t wanna do it right then.

You may have moments when you just feel a strong toddler “no” in your spirit…but it’s not holy. It’s human. I have them often.

They may be small spurts of time, but they can be lethal to your mission.

At some point, you gotta just suck it up. Whatever it is. Just think: What would happen if we let our immaturity show like a satin white slip during a southern church service on a regular basis? Nothing would get done in its necessary timing and other’s lives could be affected.

So, I have a formula for the “I Don’t Wanna” moments you secretly experience. When faced with a responsibility that isn’t attractive or enjoyable, give yourself no more than 5 minutes of toddler time. Calculate how much time it will take to carry out the it. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Before you get started on the it, let the kid out. Whine, pout, growl, doodle, jump around, do whatever you need to release the kid you are inside. Go hard in paint. Scream if you need to. Run around in your undies (in your private residence, not at work please). Let it out. After 5 minutes, give yourself the boxing ring pep talk, throw on your cape, and suck it up. You’ve got a life that will eventually turn into history. Plant your feet and make a resolve that you’re the best person for the job. You’re the only one that can do it like you and you must be awesome enough to do it. God built you as a Masterpiece. That task has nothing on your beautiful mind. You’re going to smash that to-do item and celebrate with a high-five, happy dance under and a smile to yourself.

The case of the “I Don’t Wanna” is a plot from your inner child, but it doesn’t have to deplete your productivity. Let her out then put her to work. You’ll be better for it.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

I have 5-minute dance parties to fight back. Photo courtesy of Desiree Danielle Photography.

November 1, 2016 0

#bloglikecrazy: Day 1 – Slow Down

slow-down-quotes-favim-com-2618639 Am I crazy to #bloglikecrazy for 30 days straight?

Yep.

I’ve accepted a challenge by my writer’s group guru Javacia to unblock my writing potential through this annual exercise. I’ve always wanted to do it, but I didn’t expect it to be here already. Day 1. *eek*

So, what have I heard in my spirit today? SLOW DOWN.

It’s not enough to be a machine, but people expect you to be an energizing, self-sufficient, non-emotional android while getting catapulted by life events at the speed of light. Not an easy feat if you ask me. So today, I slowed down. I have a lot to do this week, and I’m sure you do too. For once in a significant amount of time, I ate my lunch at work… comfortably. Not in a car while thinking about my next stop. Not while on a conference call. Not taking a bite then answering a request. But sitting in a chair… at my desk… with minimal noise. It felt good to taste my food instead of inhaling it. Furthermore, I could have easily postponed lunch until after my afternoon meeting (which is my normal), but I looked at the clock and said – I need to eat before I do anything else. It was as if my body and my spirit agreed and aligned in peaceful matrimony. I enjoyed every bite of my bell pepper and grilled chicken.

Have you ever been like that? Not hangry (hungry + angry), but resolved that the absence of food was no longer an option? That was me today. That was the guilt-free me standing up for herself. How often do we do the same with God’s Word and our relationship with Him?

“I need to pray/study/listen to God before I do anything else.”

What a difference that would make! Unsupported decisions would decrease and broken souls wouldn’t cry as often. We would think of our actions before they commence. Our canned responses would have more depth and loveliness woven between them. Perhaps your heart is aching in that place of resolve for you to ____ before you start whittling your to-do list.

I guarantee that you’ll have a better sense of direction after you’ve consulted the Compass.

Blog like crazy, huh? Well, I’m game. Let’s see what the Lord has to say, or better yet, what I’ll have to slow down to hear. lol

Peace & Thanks for listening!

Photo courtesy of QuoteAddicts.com

November 1, 2016 1

Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

Category

#bloglikecrazy: Day 9 – Band-Aids or Surgery

#bloglikecrazy: Day 8 – It Feels Good

#bloglikecrazy: Day 7 – Pray for Rain

#bloglikecrazy: Day 6 – What If I Don’t Want It

#bloglikecrazy: Day 5 – Turned, not Stirred

#bloglikecrazy: Day 4 – Intimacy is IN

#bloglikecrazy: Day 3 – Something’s Wrong

#bloglikecrazy: Day 2 – I Don’t Wanna

#bloglikecrazy: Day 1 – Slow Down

Photo courtesy of QuoteAddicts.com

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– by C. J. Wade –

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