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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #24

Prayer: “God, I want you to be comfortable in my praise. I want you to live here. I want my heart to be your home.”

There may come a time when you desire more out of a relationship. More intimacy. More time. More something. When that moment comes, how will you express this craving? I’ve experienced this sentiment and it took me on a deep dive into my faith. It also created unrest when I sat in church. I wanted more than a script. More than an agenda. I wanted God to sit with me and not just walk by. I wanted to be comforted, surrounded, and in companionship.

To this day, when I open my mouth to sing or fling my arms in dance, I want God to feel at home. I want Him to expand His awesomeness in the room and be comfortable enough to stay there in enjoyment. You know, the same way you feel when you visit someone who has sweet hospitality. It doesn’t matter if the person lives in an apartment or a mansion — if they make you feel comfortable, you want to stay. You want to be there and they are not required to entertain you in order for you to relish in the welcoming atmosphere. You kick back in the chair or cozy up with the blanket. You may even fall asleep or be completely energized when you leave. That’s how I wanted the Spirit of God to live in the thanksgiving of my lips and the offering of my movement.

I pray that you experience intimacy in waves of grace and truth. There’s safety there. I love you all and look forward to “seeing” you tomorrow. Peace & Thanks for listening!

 

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #23

Prayer: “Lord, please make this work. I really need this to work.”

Have you ever had all the eggs in one basket and you were hoping you weren’t an idiot for putting them there, but you had to wait it out to see if it was a dumb move or a smart step? Cool. I knew I had found my people.

It reminds me of the bridge in my favorite hymn “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” –

“O, what piece we often forfeit

O, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.”

Sweethearts, I’ve had my fair share of forfeited peace. Plenty of moments where it was no one’s fault but mine. I saw the signs and walked straight into (or stayed in) the quicksand. Maybe I thought it was truly a smart step or I didn’t want to be deemed a quitter. Either way, I was still stuck in it. I’ve also experienced times when I took God at His Word and couldn’t ssee the dividends of doing so. Same prayer applied in each scenario.

Whatever it is that you’re in, pray for it to work. Now, here’s the kicker… when you do that, you relinquish your right to choose the avenue in which it will work out and in what capacity. It could mean that you don’t get the raise, but you increase in favor with your colleagues and supervisor. That happened to me. It could mean that you are let go under false pretenses, but you are released before the crap hits the fan and the workplace reeks of unethical behavior. That happened to me too. In essence, be prepared for all things to work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

I’m praying for you all. You got this and God’s got you. Peace and Thanks for listening! It will work out!

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #22

Prayer: “Lord, please don’t let me pee on myself!”

OK, we are keeping it real, right? Who hasn’t said this one? I’ll wait.

Yep. Me too. Just thought I would break up the heavy stuff a bit. Hey, this prayer is real too. After all, desperation will make one pray any day. *lol*

Peace & I hope you laughed (without peeing on yourself, of course)! Thanks for listening!

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #21

Prayer: “God, you gotta help me get rid of this. It’s eating me alive.”

Bitterness is such a tricky thing. First, it seduces you like a delectable dessert. With every bite, it becomes part of your spiritual DNA… infecting the entrails of your common sense. You become infused with anger as it dilutes your happiness. Its roots take hold of every good thing that has happened to you and you become a hostage in your own skin. The bars seemed passion-retardant and kindness-resistant. On the outside, you’re doing fine but on the inside, you’re a caged phoenix.

That’s what a particular season of bitterness had done to me and I had finally reached the point where I could admit it. And I was bitter for a good reason if you ask me. A viable reason. One-hundred-percent-not-my-fault reason… but I was only one harboring the storm in my spirit while the offender seemed to frolic in a sea of Dutch tulips.

During my prayer, the words didn’t sound right to me and I’m so glad it didn’t matter. I let them out anyway. All I knew was I felt like I was choking in the vomit of my pain and I couldn’t take it anymore… and He heard me. I would be lying if I said I only dealt with bitterness once in my life. The cool difference about now and then is that I recognize it before that bite. I see it for what it is and I ask God for help much sooner than I used to.

I pray that you do the same. Don’t let it reel you in.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweetheart.

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #19

Prayer: “Lord, this is so cool. I’m actually here. I’m doing what I love to do. I have no idea how this is going to work out, but I am so grateful for the ride.”

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my massage practice! *insert happy party horn blow here* The day I opened, I had no idea that my school would close in less than a month. So, needless to say, I was ripe for that moment I spoke to you about yesterday. Instead, I felt ready to accept the next chapter of my professional life and spiritual growth even without all of the answers. A lot of entrepreneurs set their sights and prepare their resources for the business ahead and I did that. Unfortunately, the legs were swept from under my colleagues and me in a matter of minutes and my 3-6 month plan to transition into my business came early. Super early.

Nervous? Yes!
Excited? Absolutely!
Wondering how it was going to work out? That too!

Fast forward to the present day and I wake up honored to help my clients, teach dance students, write to you, and rehearse with my Crew. Am I riding in a brand new car, sporting flashy clothes, and sitting in a beach chair every weekend? *insert a loud laugh here — in real life* Completely the opposite. But I remember the seasons when I hated going to work every day and I promised myself that I would not live in professional bitterness until I die. It feels good to eat lunch with my mother or visit a friend more often. It feels lovely when I look at my calendar and I was a choreographer, public speaker, and licensed massage therapist all in one day. I love it. It’s fulfilling and I can’t wait to keep going.

I pray that you reach that point too, Sweetheart. I pray that you will at least write it down so you can see its possibility in your hands. I also pray that you link with God’s divine design in you. Everything about you was meant to make this Earth better than it was before you got here. So, keep the real prayers coming. I’m rootin’ for you.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #18

Prayer: “Lord, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why can’t things just go right?!”

My passionate expression probably seems outlandish, childish even, but God knows I’m serious. He knows that I don’t pout at every little thing. I take the brunt of various blows so my friends, family, and teammates do not have to. It’s how I’m wired. Oh, but every now and then, I just have a good old-fashioned fit. I wouldn’t call it a tantrum, but close calls have occurred. The contents of said fit generally include a raw verbal exchange with my Heavenly Father, frustration tears, and deep breathing. Afterward, I usually end up praying words of thanksgiving and leveling up my faith that everything will work out.

Max Lucado calls it “the perfect storm”… the rather imperfectly perfect blend of unfortunate things that could happen all at once. For the most part, I chew up that storm and keep my energy focused on what’s ahead. I channel unnecessary energy to the Truth that there is an end to the misfortune. At times, it just gets too much and I am purely annoyed and frustrated. If I had a fistful of flour, my inclination would be to throw it all over the place. If there was a punching bag, it would ask for mercy… but only for about 2 minutes. Yes, you read correctly. When I need to just get it out, I do and I give myself a time limit to do so. My flustered self may scream, whine, grunt, cry… whatever it takes. Then once it’s out, it’s out. My faith takes over and God reinforces His strength in me and I’m geared up for the fight again.

That “perfect storm” allows God to show Himself strong in me and also in the situation that is trying to smother me at that moment. I’m also crazy enough to believe that He allows me to release the pressure valve if needed. Whenever that is. Without judgment. Without shame. I can go there with Him and I love it.

I pray that you release your real prayer in the midst of your “perfect storm.” Get it out. Say it, breathe through it, and do so unapologetically to your Creator. It’s definitely better out than in.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweetheart!

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #17

Prayer: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.“

Papers graded.

Water bottle ready.

Attendance sheet set.

Everything could be in place but right before my class began, I prayed this prayer. I knew I couldn’t teach those souls on my own. Regardless of my training, nothing could prepare me for what I could run into any given day as a high school and adult education teacher. It was a gift to be trusted with their vulnerable season of learning. Some of my adult students were transitioning from careers or life events that caused their worlds to tailspin. I knew that, with one word, I could either make their days better or worse. I definitely didn’t want to do the latter.

Words are so much more powerful than we give them credit for. In a classroom, in a boardroom, on a sports field… we have the opportunity to let God’s Love flow through our lips. I pray you’ll do the same this week. That prayer up there… it’s from Psalm 19:14, by the way. Say it everywhere you go. Through every threshold. In every family meeting. I guarantee He’ll help you with your words.

Peace and Thanks for listening, Sweethearts. I love y’all!

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #16

Prayer: “Lord, please help my unbelief. I know you’re here. I know you are God, but it’s just hard to believe that this is working for my good.”

I know what the Word says but that doesn’t mean my belief muscles are always strong. There was a time when they felt frail. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe at all; I just had fragments of hope that couldn’t find their way to faith. In Mark – Chapter 9, I found someone who understood me.

Belief is a tricky thing because you are taught that it is all or nothing. Either you believe that your chair will hold you or not. Either you believe that the plane will carry you and your luggage to the next destination. But what happens when you believe with all you have left? Is that enough for God to work with? Absolutely. I am the evidence. He can work with the shredded pieces of your tragedy. He can love the torn parts of your faith. Just give what you have to Him. He will help your unbelief and it’s OK to admit that it is there. In Mark 9, the father had to give his unbelief to Jesus in faith that He would accept that too. And He did.

Peace & Thanks for listening. Keep praying real prayers.

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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #15

Prayer: “I want to love You with no strings.”

I am a firm believer in loving with your whole heart. After all, what good is it to say “I love you” and harness what it entails? That has always boggled my mind. Even as a child, I wanted to give bubble gum CDs out of the fullness of my heart. I loved shopping for Valentine’s Day cards to give my classmates. Opening up wasn’t a fearful act until I was crushed. After that, I stopped buying gifts for a while because I didn’t want to be hurt again (and it was also hurting my pockets). Pretty standard story, right?

Well, without knowing it, I had applied that rationale to God too. I went through a season of being scared to share my whole self with Him. I would pray and not realize how restrictive I was with my insecurities, questions, painful parts, and broken heartstrings. One day, I decided to change that narrative. If I could love others like a free bird, why couldn’t I release that flow to my Creator?

All of you deserves to be loved — fully and without reserve. Go ahead and start the conversation. He knows you anyway. He made you with His good intentions and there is nothing else He wants from you other than unrestricted Love.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweetheart. Pray with any open heart. It’s worth it.

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