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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 25 – There Is An End

The Good

#25 – I watched my students and my cousin graduate!

There are two things I bring to every graduation – water and cough drops. Why? Because I’m going to scream for my students! The joy that overwhelms my soul every time I see them step into the graduation day is the stuff that could make rockets fly. Their smiles light up every backstage corridor and when they walk across the stage, I yell like I birthed them myself. I teach adults, but at that moment, they’re my kids. I embarrass them with cheers, hugs, and words that express how proud I am of them.

The cherry on top of the day was cheering for my cousin. She had gone through hell and high water, but she kept a spirit of determination while balancing family, work, and school. I was so proud of her and all of my students that day. I was simply blessed to be present… and they knew I was coming for them with my camera. lol

The Lesson

The best feeling in the world for an educator is knowing that you’ve given them something that will grow with them forever. The homework, the discipline, the life skills, and the motivation all work together to create a beautiful moment of transition from the classroom to their respective professions. My former students are now business owners, healthcare professionals, administrators, managers, and students once again as they advance in their careers. All of those titles came to fruition because their class time with me came to an end. That’s not a sad thing… it’s a Good thing! That’s why I cheer for my students so hard and knock back those cough drops – because it’s the end of that part of the struggle. Single parenthood, unemployment, inconsistent childcare, undependable transportation, and non-supportive family members were not enough to stop them. And those smiles on that day… that’s the Good no negativity can take away.

So, maybe you think I was joking about the cheering part. Who cares if I was on stage as faculty? Not me. Just check out this clip of my cousin walking across the stage.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Cheer for someone this week! It may encourage them more than you know!

#bloglikecrazy: Day 22 – Courageous

The Good

#22 – I judged a high school talent show!

A local high school hosted a talent show for students to perform their hearts out. I heard musicians play instruments exceptionally well, poets who had substance to say, and singers who sang with passion. It was great, but their courage is what blew me away. It’s not easy to stand in front of your peers and teachers at that age with fortitude and stage fright sloshing in your chest. I was so proud to witness their raw talent in real time.

The Lesson

At some point in our lives, we did things afraid. We were scared out of our wits, but we did it anyway. We played that note, we said that speech, we asked her out… we made our courage override our fear. I couldn’t imagine performing in front of my friends and spectators in such a vulnerable form as a talent show. Being the band is one thing, but to stand alone with just you and your voice or instrument is another. At some point, we need to do things afraid again. Trust in our talent and our preparation and go for it. That’s what those teenagers did and I was so encouraged.

So, write the grant, take that class, publish that cookbook… do it afraid and you’ll do it with courage.

Peace, Thanks for listening, and Happy Thanksgiving!

 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 20 – Happy Feelings

The Good

#20 – My mother got a great doctor’s report!

I was able to attend my mother’s check-up visit and her doctor gave her rave reviews. Mind you, my mother only schedules early morning appointments. No, really… if they opened up at 5:00 AM, she would be the first patient. So, I was grateful to go with her before my morning class and hear that her numbers were good. She has been working hard to be a healthier version of herself and I was so proud of her in that exam room.

The Lesson

It’s OK to switch places for a bit. As I sat there with my mother, I thought of how many times she was in my position – at the doctor’s office waiting for the all-clear. Now, here I was doing the same thing. Yeah, my prayers and expectations were up, but it didn’t stop the wait and wonder. When I got in the car, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness that I could be there with my mother like she was there for me. I was appreciative for a caring mother that I could care about that day and every day.

Peace & Thanks for listening! “See” you tomorrow!

 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 18 – B.I.G.

The Good

#18 – I witnessed the 2018 Winter Olympics & the Closing Ceremony (on TV)!

Every 2 years, there’s B.I.G. in the Winter or Summer Olympics and I eat it up with a big spoon. All of those countries, all of the colors, all of the sports, all of those smiles, all of the grit… it’s B.I.G. – Big International Goodness and I absolutely love it. On most occasions, I’m not available to see it live, but this year I was. My heart swelled like Grinch on Christmas morning (mine wasn’t small, to begin with) as I watched athletes compete with all of their might. Opposing country representatives hugged each other, the epic choreography was displayed, and I was introduced to K-Pop. Pyeongchang did it up this year and I was happy to be a virtual spectator. With all the craziness in the world, I’ll take a helping of B.I.G. whenever I can get it.

The Lesson

When we want to, we can get along and represent well. All it takes is the effort. Now, don’t think I’m jaded and have no clue at the various social injustices that swirl around the Olympics business. I’m quite aware, but no one can deny the emotion that cries out of an athlete when they win or lose and the passion that pours from the host country to be sure everything is in place. Everyone wants to look and be their best. That desire is authentic. That is what I see when I see the Olympics. What would happen if we strived to be our best selves outside of the competition?

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts! “See” you tomorrow! If you want to check out the awesomeness of the 2018 Winter Olympics closing ceremony, click here. FYI: There’s commentary until around the 10-minute mark then the show begins. Enjoy!

 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 17 -There Is Repair

The Good

#17 – I spent time with Sorors that I haven’t enjoyed in years.

Before I was a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc, I joined Tau Beta Sigma National Honorary Band Sorority. While in undergrad, I was lied on about a sensitive issue and the hurt resulted in me deciding not to remain connected to my chapter. I was close to a few Sorors but was not interested in repairing relationships as a whole. This year, I made a point to be emotionally transparent enough to allow love to flow in that vein again. Best decision made. We laughed, ate great food, exposed our thoughts, and vowed to excavate the ugliness and start the repairing process. I have had an absolute blast with these lovely ones ever since.

The Lesson

Repair is possible if you want it to be. When teaching introduction to communication, I use the following definition found in Communicating for Success by Cheryl M. Hamilton: Communication is a transactional process by which people, interacting in a particular context, negotiate the meaning of verbal and nonverbal symbols in order to achieve shared understanding. 

There are some relationships that served their purpose and I am not interested in repairing, rebuilding, or refreshing them. Then, there are some that all it takes is the commitment to seek understanding for something beautiful to grow. Even if we don’t agree, we can agree to have a meaningful transaction full of honesty, sincerity, and just plain old love. Yes, I can love you and not become intertwined into your life again if it is not a safe place for me to breathe, but if there is life there… there is the opportunity to repair, rebuild, and refresh. If both parties desire to do so, it is possible to communicate in a healthy way to allow aeration of the soul. What happens after that? *shrugs* That’s the part you have to let go. That’s the part that isn’t wrapped up nicely in a bow. You may pour your heart out to each other and still decide that you do not want to repair, but at least you created the space for Truth to flow. And that was the Good part.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Day 16 – Truthsayer

The Good

#16 – I admitted to emotional eating.

When the door opens for Truth to walk in, you step aside and let it proceed. That’s what I did at #WINCgoesRED this year. While we discussed heart health and eating habits, the opportunity availed for me to finally say what I had been denying. I had been emotionally eating since my father passed away and was slowly crawling myself out of that shell.

The Lesson

Why is this in the Good pile? Because I finally said it aloud and there was something powerful about fighting what was standing in front of me instead of hiding inside of me. I gained weight, but I was satisfied with it. I ate to make myself feel comforted in times when I grieved alone. There’s nothing wrong with eating for pleasure, but eating to mute pain on a regular basis is grounds for assistance. The Good that came out of confessing was that I would continue to confront the urge to eat my sorrow away. I wasn’t ashamed of it anymore, and the admittance of it gave me the strength to overcome one day at a time.

What is holding you hostage? What fear are you feeding? I pray that you find a friend or therapist that can help you put on the boxing gloves to fight back. I’m with you in the ring, Sweetheart. We got this and there is Good on the other side.

Peace, thanks for listening, and “see” you tomorrow!

 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 15 – Catch Up

The Good

#15 – I had sister time with my sisterfriend Carrie!

When you’re in high school, the days seem to fly by as you approach graduation. Some people you will remember your whole life because you just… connect. Meet my sisterfriend Carrie. We were marching bandmates and stayed connected ever since, but decided to set a date to catch up on each other’s lives this year. She’s soft-spoken, kind, powerful in standards, and mighty in faith. Then, to top it off, she’s an audiology doctor, exceptional in pediatrics, and always has a cool hair color. I’m amazed by her on a regular basis. Seriously.

The Lesson

There’s nothing wrong with catching up. Sometimes we feel pressured to be involved in every little detail of people’s lives, and while that is ideal, it simply doesn’t happen. Life events continue, you smash goals, change cities, etc. You can stay connected, but it takes effort. I learned that even though I had not taken part in her graduations and career accomplishments, I was still proud of her and she felt the same. And on that lunch date, we simply enjoyed each other’s company and caught up. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Is there someone that you need to catch up with before the year ends? Make the effort and do your best to keep the date like you would a doctor’s appointment. The dividends are priceless laughs with your friend that can’t be erased.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Day 14 – Wisdom Walking

The Good

#14 – I enjoyed the presence of mentors.

Tena Wilson. Annie Joe Edwards. These ladies are legends and I can’t talk about them without beaming with adoration. Honestly, I’m a fan of their artistry and their queendom. Whenever I can watch them perform, I treat myself and marvel at their creative excellence. Then, when it’s all over, I get to hug these two powerhouses and they shower me with wisdom, humor, and love.

Queen Tena (as I call her) is on the far left of the photo. Actor, music educator, and vocalist extraordinaire – opera, jazz, spirituals, you name it – she can sing you into euphoria.

My SoRHOr Annie Jo is in the middle and she still hand-scores her music. *insert emoji face with heart eyes here* Music educator, actor, songwriter, playwright, pianist, and comedienne.

Between them, they have decades of entertainment experience and touring under their belt and they’re also great friends.

The Lesson

Sit under wisdom and stay there. “Yes, ma’am” freely leaps from my lips and pride is nowhere in the room. I listen. I learn. I obey. I accept. I pay attention and I leave richer than I came.

When you see wisdom walking, stop and soak, especially when someone wants to share her with you. Proverbs 1:20-29 says that wisdom cries in the streets with the hopes of gaining your attention. Too often, we’re just too stupid to listen to Her. Consequently, we succumb to negative effects and wonder why they happened to us.

Wisdom is not far away and you may be surprised at how freely She flows when you ask for Her.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Day 13 – Sweet Treat

The Good

#13 – I spent much-needed sister time with Shannon + ate a random DQ Blizzard!

Snapseed.jpgMy sweet sisterfriend Shannon is a force to be reckoned with. Not only is she an E-RYT (Experienced-Registered Yoga Teacher) and graphic designer, but she’s a wife, mom, and perfect pizza date. She rocks everything she touches and her spirit is as authentic as they come. So, imagine our silly selves eating wood-fired brick oven pizza at Post Office Pies on our lunch breaks. Smiles and laughs everywhere. There might as well have been confetti thrown over our heads. The server was blessed by our joy and we were enriched by her bright and shining heart. We encouraged each other and caught up on the haps.

Then, as if it couldn’t get any better, she and her daughter surprised me with a Dairy Queen Blizzard at work the following month. *smh* I had not had a Blizzard in years and was going to treat myself to one in a week or two, but when your sister asks what kind you want, you don’t procrastinate! It was the perfect pick-me-up for an intense week.

The Lesson

There’s nothing like a sweet conversation and a surprise. One planned lunch and one drive-by dessert made me a happy soul. I love surprising people, but I must admit, they got me good on the Blizzard day. It wasn’t the lunch or the dessert; it was the Love. Love always expresses Himself and since God is Love, we share God when we express Love toward each other. The hugs we shared on both days were rich and life-giving and we could all use a bit more of that any day. That’s where living really thrives.

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It didn’t stand a chance.

When was the last time you surprised someone you cared about?  Maybe it’s ice cream, a blanket, gift card, or my favorite – a drive-by hug – that can make their day better. Pick a person this month and 2 people next month to surprise with Love and let the confetti shower begin.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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