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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 22 – Courageous

The Good

#22 – I judged a high school talent show!

A local high school hosted a talent show for students to perform their hearts out. I heard musicians play instruments exceptionally well, poets who had substance to say, and singers who sang with passion. It was great, but their courage is what blew me away. It’s not easy to stand in front of your peers and teachers at that age with fortitude and stage fright sloshing in your chest. I was so proud to witness their raw talent in real time.

The Lesson

At some point in our lives, we did things afraid. We were scared out of our wits, but we did it anyway. We played that note, we said that speech, we asked her out… we made our courage override our fear. I couldn’t imagine performing in front of my friends and spectators in such a vulnerable form as a talent show. Being the band is one thing, but to stand alone with just you and your voice or instrument is another. At some point, we need to do things afraid again. Trust in our talent and our preparation and go for it. That’s what those teenagers did and I was so encouraged.

So, write the grant, take that class, publish that cookbook… do it afraid and you’ll do it with courage.

Peace, Thanks for listening, and Happy Thanksgiving!

 

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 21 – ThanksFORgiving

The Good

#21 – My colleagues became my teachers!

This is for every teacher out there that gives of their time, talent, and treasure in order to see their students “get it.” My co-workers gave me the gift of their professional passion and I couldn’t be more grateful. While I was in therapeutic massage school, they volunteered their wisdom in various ways and enjoyed pouring into all of us. From 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM every day, I was a student and I received all of their awesomeness. Truthfully, I became their fan. They were not colleagues during that timeframe; they were my instructors and their goal was to see me succeed in my new journey. They helped me study and practice after school when I needed it and cheered when I passed my boards and landed my first independent contract. They also hugged me as I cried. I couldn’t have asked for better gurus for uncharted waters.

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Kate the Great is what we call her because she does whatever it takes to help you learn.

The Lesson

You truly do give what you get.

I can’t count how many times I stayed after class, drove to campus on my days off, and counseled students to pursue their passions in the midst of adversity. It didn’t matter that I was exhausted or that my bank account was coughing dust… I wanted to give the gift of care to people that were transitioning into their next levels. I didn’t think I would receive all of that back from people that I admired as my friends. The best gift was to be an open vessel in their classrooms. It is truly possible to receive what you pour into others and I appreciate every drop.

Peace & Thanks FOR giving. I love you all.

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 18 – B.I.G.

The Good

#18 – I witnessed the 2018 Winter Olympics & the Closing Ceremony (on TV)!

Every 2 years, there’s B.I.G. in the Winter or Summer Olympics and I eat it up with a big spoon. All of those countries, all of the colors, all of the sports, all of those smiles, all of the grit… it’s B.I.G. – Big International Goodness and I absolutely love it. On most occasions, I’m not available to see it live, but this year I was. My heart swelled like Grinch on Christmas morning (mine wasn’t small, to begin with) as I watched athletes compete with all of their might. Opposing country representatives hugged each other, the epic choreography was displayed, and I was introduced to K-Pop. Pyeongchang did it up this year and I was happy to be a virtual spectator. With all the craziness in the world, I’ll take a helping of B.I.G. whenever I can get it.

The Lesson

When we want to, we can get along and represent well. All it takes is the effort. Now, don’t think I’m jaded and have no clue at the various social injustices that swirl around the Olympics business. I’m quite aware, but no one can deny the emotion that cries out of an athlete when they win or lose and the passion that pours from the host country to be sure everything is in place. Everyone wants to look and be their best. That desire is authentic. That is what I see when I see the Olympics. What would happen if we strived to be our best selves outside of the competition?

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts! “See” you tomorrow! If you want to check out the awesomeness of the 2018 Winter Olympics closing ceremony, click here. FYI: There’s commentary until around the 10-minute mark then the show begins. Enjoy!

 

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 17 -There Is Repair

The Good

#17 – I spent time with Sorors that I haven’t enjoyed in years.

Before I was a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc, I joined Tau Beta Sigma National Honorary Band Sorority. While in undergrad, I was lied on about a sensitive issue and the hurt resulted in me deciding not to remain connected to my chapter. I was close to a few Sorors but was not interested in repairing relationships as a whole. This year, I made a point to be emotionally transparent enough to allow love to flow in that vein again. Best decision made. We laughed, ate great food, exposed our thoughts, and vowed to excavate the ugliness and start the repairing process. I have had an absolute blast with these lovely ones ever since.

The Lesson

Repair is possible if you want it to be. When teaching introduction to communication, I use the following definition found in Communicating for Success by Cheryl M. Hamilton: Communication is a transactional process by which people, interacting in a particular context, negotiate the meaning of verbal and nonverbal symbols in order to achieve shared understanding. 

There are some relationships that served their purpose and I am not interested in repairing, rebuilding, or refreshing them. Then, there are some that all it takes is the commitment to seek understanding for something beautiful to grow. Even if we don’t agree, we can agree to have a meaningful transaction full of honesty, sincerity, and just plain old love. Yes, I can love you and not become intertwined into your life again if it is not a safe place for me to breathe, but if there is life there… there is the opportunity to repair, rebuild, and refresh. If both parties desire to do so, it is possible to communicate in a healthy way to allow aeration of the soul. What happens after that? *shrugs* That’s the part you have to let go. That’s the part that isn’t wrapped up nicely in a bow. You may pour your heart out to each other and still decide that you do not want to repair, but at least you created the space for Truth to flow. And that was the Good part.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 16 – Truthsayer

The Good

#16 – I admitted to emotional eating.

When the door opens for Truth to walk in, you step aside and let it proceed. That’s what I did at #WINCgoesRED this year. While we discussed heart health and eating habits, the opportunity availed for me to finally say what I had been denying. I had been emotionally eating since my father passed away and was slowly crawling myself out of that shell.

The Lesson

Why is this in the Good pile? Because I finally said it aloud and there was something powerful about fighting what was standing in front of me instead of hiding inside of me. I gained weight, but I was satisfied with it. I ate to make myself feel comforted in times when I grieved alone. There’s nothing wrong with eating for pleasure, but eating to mute pain on a regular basis is grounds for assistance. The Good that came out of confessing was that I would continue to confront the urge to eat my sorrow away. I wasn’t ashamed of it anymore, and the admittance of it gave me the strength to overcome one day at a time.

What is holding you hostage? What fear are you feeding? I pray that you find a friend or therapist that can help you put on the boxing gloves to fight back. I’m with you in the ring, Sweetheart. We got this and there is Good on the other side.

Peace, thanks for listening, and “see” you tomorrow!

 

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 15 – Catch Up

The Good

#15 – I had sister time with my sisterfriend Carrie!

When you’re in high school, the days seem to fly by as you approach graduation. Some people you will remember your whole life because you just… connect. Meet my sisterfriend Carrie. We were marching bandmates and stayed connected ever since, but decided to set a date to catch up on each other’s lives this year. She’s soft-spoken, kind, powerful in standards, and mighty in faith. Then, to top it off, she’s an audiology doctor, exceptional in pediatrics, and always has a cool hair color. I’m amazed by her on a regular basis. Seriously.

The Lesson

There’s nothing wrong with catching up. Sometimes we feel pressured to be involved in every little detail of people’s lives, and while that is ideal, it simply doesn’t happen. Life events continue, you smash goals, change cities, etc. You can stay connected, but it takes effort. I learned that even though I had not taken part in her graduations and career accomplishments, I was still proud of her and she felt the same. And on that lunch date, we simply enjoyed each other’s company and caught up. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Is there someone that you need to catch up with before the year ends? Make the effort and do your best to keep the date like you would a doctor’s appointment. The dividends are priceless laughs with your friend that can’t be erased.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 14 – Wisdom Walking

The Good

#14 – I enjoyed the presence of mentors.

Tena Wilson. Annie Joe Edwards. These ladies are legends and I can’t talk about them without beaming with adoration. Honestly, I’m a fan of their artistry and their queendom. Whenever I can watch them perform, I treat myself and marvel at their creative excellence. Then, when it’s all over, I get to hug these two powerhouses and they shower me with wisdom, humor, and love.

Queen Tena (as I call her) is on the far left of the photo. Actor, music educator, and vocalist extraordinaire – opera, jazz, spirituals, you name it – she can sing you into euphoria.

My SoRHOr Annie Jo is in the middle and she still hand-scores her music. *insert emoji face with heart eyes here* Music educator, actor, songwriter, playwright, pianist, and comedienne.

Between them, they have decades of entertainment experience and touring under their belt and they’re also great friends.

The Lesson

Sit under wisdom and stay there. “Yes, ma’am” freely leaps from my lips and pride is nowhere in the room. I listen. I learn. I obey. I accept. I pay attention and I leave richer than I came.

When you see wisdom walking, stop and soak, especially when someone wants to share her with you. Proverbs 1:20-29 says that wisdom cries in the streets with the hopes of gaining your attention. Too often, we’re just too stupid to listen to Her. Consequently, we succumb to negative effects and wonder why they happened to us.

Wisdom is not far away and you may be surprised at how freely She flows when you ask for Her.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 11 – The Game

The Good

#10 – I had a movie night with my pRHOphyte Cindy… and won!

So, there’s this game that my pRHOphyte and I play and I finally won… after 17 years. She’s one of the founding members of my sorority’s chapter at the University of Alabama at Birmingham and a serious movie buff. I try to stump her by picking a movie that she’s never seen and until this year, I would lose… horribly. This is usually how it goes:

ME: “Oooooo, Cindy, I got one for you this time! It’s a good one!”

CINDY: *giggles* “OK. What’s the name of it?”

ME: *insert movie title here*

CINDY: “Oh, yeah, that’s the one where she *insert scene description here*. That is a good one.”

ME:  *face palm*

See my plight? See why I’m excited? You try going through that year after year and see where your cinematic self-esteem goes. Well, this time, I picked one she had never seen and she loved it. Woohoo!

The Lesson

Find something to enjoy with people you care about and set a date! It’s fun to share something different with different people in your circle and there’s a way to uniquely connect with each of your friends.

Ruby Tuesday may not be their thing and they may hate hiking, but they may love bowling and get excited about NASCAR or history. Whatever it is, find it and share it with them. You may love it, hate it, or truthfully, you may enjoy the same sports team but hate watching the game together. lol! At the end of the day, extend yourself a bit and enjoy something together. You may be surprised by how strong your bond can truly be.

Peace, Thanks for listening, and Happy Veteran’s Day to all military service personnel and their families! Fellow civilians, have you paid your vet-debt-a today?

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#bloglikecrazy: Day 10 – Celebration of Life

The Good

#10 – I was able to celebrate the life of my SoRHOr and witness the baptism of her son.

It was bittersweet, but I was honored to attend both occasions. My Sorority Sister passed away in January and my SoRHOrs gathered to support her family and each other. Four months later, I listened to her son express his pain and revelation before being baptized by my pastor. The Good was simply being present, to celebrate life on both accords.

The Lesson

The life we live has the opportunity to affect others for the rest of their lives. We only get one chance to walk this Earth and what we do with it is crucial. There is equal opportunity to help and hurt everyone we meet. Perfection is not promised, but authenticity is attainable. We should live this life to enrich the soil of other souls. Why else would you need to breathe? Every breath is a chance to make something better. My SoRHOr Nicki did that. That’s why I was able to learn Legend in the process of becoming a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. and feel the essence of her passion, hug her and experience the love of one SoRHOr to another, and shed tears at her funeral. Her life impacted mine and when I see her husband and children, I speak. I hug them too. She multiplied herself in them and in me.

What type of life are you multiplying?

Peace & Thanks for listening!

 

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