It’s been a minute. A lot has happened since the last post in May. While I could try to catch you up on everything, I’d rather tell you where I am for now. It’s shorter. I also added my first audio clip to help the cause. 🙂
I have the clarity I prayed for.
I know where I am and where I’m going in all facets of my life.
At times, it’s electrifying and outrageously overwhelming. It feels amazing, yet I still say “How in the world am I going to do all of this?” Like a child looking at a perfectly seasoned porterhouse steak, I’m enticed, intrigued, and also anticipating about how to proceed with what’s before me. The good part is my mind is focused and unclouded on my calling and I’m humble enough to accept the Father’s daily bread. I literally ask “OK, what do you want me to do right now?” The opposite of my long-term planning self. It’s uneasy sometimes, but it’s good. It’s good to hold God’s hand and take baby steps. It keeps my mind from getting too full too often. Just last week, I had to pause and breathe in the middle of walking my dog. Each time, it was evening and the sky was clear enough to see every star. I pretended to throw my anxieties up to the dark blue velvet in between them. “I can’t do anything with this. You’re going to have to help me,” I said aloud. Add that to monthly therapy sessions with an amazing professional and that’s what’s been happening to keep my mental health, well… healthy. Bite-size isn’t so bad. Try it!
Short version – my body is healing well. Faster than I expected. The health choices I made in November are finally paying off. According to my massage therapist (who has wisdom in her pants pockets), my musculoskeletal system is finding a new baseline of function.
And I can feel it.
In the past 45 days, I taught several step dance workshops and performed twice with no knee brace, no asthma, and no back pain. Don’t get it twisted – I still had to ice my knees and stretch to minimize soreness, but nothing like I used to have to do. I was accustomed to tolerating pain at high levels to function and work daily. No painkillers, just praying and pretending as much as I could. It became normal to wake up and go to bed hurting for almost 3 decades. Now, if all goes well, I’ll be released from medical care next month – just in time for my birthday. *smiling* I’m so excited to feel a new normal. To learn what my normal actually is. Still working on quality sleep and eating breakfast every day, but my nutritionist is a huge help. I recommend getting one if you can – gamechanger. Keep praying for ya girl over here. We’re headed in the right direction!
Listen. My spirit is fortified. Everything isn’t going perfectly, but there is so much resolve inside of me that it doesn’t even matter. I created a new morning time to pray, listen, and meditate because my work schedule changed. So far, so good. Next, I need some serious download time. That’s what I’m working on right now. I got it in January and now I feel like I’m at halftime and the coach is calling me to the sideline for updates before the clock runs out. I have a vacation coming up this fall, but I feel a serious swelling of anticipation like God is waiting on me to be still and alone sooner than that. So, I just carved out space to hear from him without the restriction of a timed agenda. And if He requires more, I’m ready to make that happen because it’s that serious. I can’t navigate this new personal and professional space without Him at the helm. After all, that’s what this blog is all about – listening to the voice of God BEFORE all hell breaks loose. I’m determined to do just that.
I was set on keeping this post under 1,000 words and I just grazed 700 with that last paragraph. Woohoo! Reach out and tell me how you’ve been. I missed y’all!
Peace & Thanks for listening and stay well out there!