Christmas is my favorite holiday, but I’ll be honest with you (because we keep it authentic around here), I was unsure how it would go this year. There was a nervousness attached to it because this has been a season of processing a pendulum swing of intensities.
I gained wisdom. I lost 8 loved ones due to death. I acquired insight. I lost a dream. I gained stronger relationships. I lost ties I thought I had. I developed a deeper love for myself.
Sweet and bitter. That was the mix I couldn’t bypass. I tried, but it didn’t work. I screamed in both victory and in anguish this year and frankly, the velocity of the pendulum swing was nauseating. As we speak, I cried tears of appreciation and grief in less than 5 minutes. So, I paused, prayed, made some hot tea, and returned to writing this post. A post for processing smiles and frowns and to let you know you are not alone.
It’s OK to be excited about a new home, new family member, or new career venture, and yet be nervous your stewardship of it. I’m crazy enough to believe that God can handle that dichotomy of emotions.
Processing on a work day…
…and on a rest day.
You may not be finished processing everything, and that’s OK too. It truly is. Don’t let anyone stamp an expiration date on your journey; only God knows when and how. The Holy Spirit can walk you through a season until it is digested and He’ll even give you certain hands to hold along the way.
I also want to stand with you and say “You made it.” You made it through one of the most intimate holidays of the year! Keep breathing through the rough patches and celebrating the good parts. That’s what Christianity truly is. It’s giving God our broken pieces instead of hiding them and it’s appreciating His divine communion as we take one step at a time.
Process it, Family. Everything doesn’t bounce off you and everything shouldn’t stick to you either. Digest as you need it so you won’t be imprisoned by it. That’s what I’m doing… and it’s working.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all and stay well out there!
Written in honor of Alana, Kevin, Courtney, George, Mrs. Packer, Brian, Aunt Janice, Mr. Larry, Deacon Welch, Daddy Wade. I am so grateful to have experienced this life with you. You will forever be missed.
I have one question for you tonight – how are you healing?
If you’ve been around for a while, you know I am a work-in-progress when it comes to the physical healing patience. I can deliver dishes of grace and empathy to family, friends, and strangers yet when it comes to myself, the plate is usually empty.
Until now.
Part of refining your spirit is God teaching you about your design and I’ve been listening a lot about mine this year. Self-care begins to expand into understanding what you need versus what you think you need. It is asking God for the blueprint of your awesomeness so you can learn how to maintain it.
If you’re like me, this isn’t an easy ask. It feels weird. Healing is an enigma only the superhuman and uber-holy obtain… at least that what I’ve always told myself. It was unreachable. Prayer of all kinds still rendered surgeries, medicine, and bills.
Was I “less saved” than my sister or brother on the same church row? Did I not believe enough? Did I even have time to heal with all the work I had to do? How long could I be evasive before a progress report on how “better” I felt was due?
It took my aunt passing away and disheartening medical news colliding within 24 hours to humble my inner superwoman this year. I had a break between clients and a broken heart. Right then, I asked myself the following question:
What do I need right now?
My answers were warmth and comfort. The manifestation was a muffled sob wrapped in a serape blanket and silent ringtone topped with a nap. I needed that moment to make it through the rest of the day. It didn’t cure anything, but it was a balm on my open wounds.
It also led to me creating a healing plan for my surgery recuperation so depressive thoughts wouldn’t drown my hope. I needed to uproot those old questions that curated anxiety and plant seeds of self-care… proactive self-care. So, I added two questions to my aerated heart in preparation for the healing journey ahead.
What brings me comfort?
Who makes me feel loved?
The first question forces you acknowledge your present need and dull the noise around you. The second question ushers comfort into your hurting space. The third question allows Love to walk with you during the process, helps you to eliminate the fake stuff, and stretches your ability to receive.
Lately, these three questions have created a divine blanket around me physically and spiritually. I rest without guilt. I let the Holy Spirit guide my day. I practice expressing what I need. I bare my weakness before God and He comforts me. Burying my frailty in my faith did not serve me well, so I offer my brokenness with trembling hands if necessary. I pray with a certain rawness that only my heavenly Father can understand. And this is all part of my healing plan.
Before I head to bed, I’ll give you (us) another note of encouragement that I recently heard in my spirit. Christians love to quote 2 Corinthians 12:9 but they don’t like being weak (me included… I’m working on it). The only way to receive the miraculous power mentioned in this verse (see Greek interpretation) is to be in a state of humble acceptance. To be empowered and infused is to be open enough to let Love in. Pride blocks healing. Pride blocks the infusion. Pride says “I don’t need help… I don’t need to heal because I’m not hurt.” Pride essentially says “I don’t need Love.” All of which leads us to walking wounded in phantom armor we’ve built to protect our pain.
When we are intentional with our healing, as I am learning to be, we admit that we need the power of God to be whole. So, I ask you again – how are you healing?
Stay well out there and pray about your plan. Peace & Thanks for listening!
I hope you’re doing well and that you were able to rest a bit this weekend.
When it comes to my faith, I apply the adage “You are what you eat.” A bible verse a day is a good way to digest small bites, but sometimes I like to go deep into a passage or person that I read about. That’s what I love about God’s Word; there’s always something to discover.
I’m often asked about how I study the Bible, so I’m sharing some basic tools in my toolbox. Being a pastor’s daughter/former music minister/bible book store associate, you see firsthand what it takes to deliver God’s message and you also collect a lot of resources over time, so I’ll spare you and just share five things from the vault. 🙂 NOTE: These are not sponsorships or advertisements. I’m just letting you know of a few resources I like to use.
YouVersion – The Bible App One of my favorite quick tools on any device. You can read devotionals, highlight verses, create images, and even submit prayer requests. When I’m studying, I like to use my Bible app to note verses that grab my attention.
Thank you, YouVersion.
Jewish Virtual Library I love using this resource for Judaic context, especially when I want insight on ancient Jewish history.
BibleHub This online parallel Bible also has commentaries, dictionaries, and more. I’ve inserted links from their site on previous posts to reference Bible verses. My favorite feature is the breakdown of a scripture by Hebrew definition (scroll down after clicking the link). Soooooo dope.
The New Inductive Study Bible (NASB) by Harvest House Publishers I have different kinds of bibles and this is one of my favorites. There are different versions of NISB’s, but the majority of them encourage the inductive marking approach to understand a passage and there are plenty of spaces for you to jot down your thoughts and maps to reference historical details.
Where to Find It in the Bible by the late Ken Anderson When I need to look up a topic quickly and I don’t want to use the Internet, this book is a great resource. From earthquake to real estate, it is most likely listed with some reference verses underneath. There’s a lot of things in the Bible that you don’t think are there!
REMINDER: Remember, it’s not about the quantity of chapters or length of time that you study God’s Word. Unless you’re in seminary or academia, God hasn’t bestowed on you the weight of teaching what you’ve read. The goal for the rest of us is to become the version of ourselves that God had in mind when He created us… to apply principles that go against what we feel sometimes… to allow the Love of Jesus to flow out of us and into the world around us. So, as with any subject, be patient with yourself as you learn. Sometimes I read one verse, sometimes I read 3 chapters, and sometimes I read 3 chapters in 3 different books of the Bible. I let my learning flow when it needs too. If that means, I spend 30 minutes studying geography or an hour reading about one person, I go with it. God’s Word fascinates me that much (and being nerdy doesn’t hurt).
If you get overwhelmed, take a deep breath, pray, and open your heart to listen to what God has to say for your life. That’s the beauty of His Word; it is applicable to every person on any level. Start with a word, emotion, or person if you need to. Let the Holy Spirit guide and you can’t go wrong. 🙂
Tonight, it’s real prayer time and I’m going to share some real talk I had with God this week after reviewing the details and footage of 2nd Lt. Caron Nazario’s case and a few other atrocities.
My prayers also include you… that your spirits will be malleable enough to empathize and fortified enough to carry out the duties of the days ahead. It’s been a difficult week so far for some of us, but we are a family in the eyes of God, and families stick together, so let’s approach the Throne of Grace… together.
America the Beautiful is not America the Perfect and sometimes those imperfections are hard to see, hard to digest, and hard to admit.
We’ve come a long way, but we have a ways to go… but let some folks tell it, we’re just fine. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is as it should be. I couldn’t disagree more.
I’ve seen tears and anguish once again and it seems there is no end in sight. Every hail of accomplishment seems to carry with it another blow, another dismissal of human dignity.
I’m coming to you in a state of gratitude right now. Grateful there’s proof of what we need to fix. Grateful that for the countless others who were never filmed, there is a dossier of visible scars that never healed. At some point, the disjunction has to be undeniable and our shades must be removed so we can see the full picture. We need Your grace to helps us with that because we suck at it right now.
Sometimes our teeth grit and we square our shoulders ready to combat anyone that can take the brunt of our pain. Unwarranted words filled with bile fly back and forth between us. I can’t believe we’re in 2021 sometimes with the things I see and hear.
We are sick in need of a Cure, yet You’ve given us the anecdote to eradicate the invisible virus that is truly keeping us apart. I know utopia is not an option. I’m not oblivious to the fact that things will worsen as You prepare to return; however, I pray that the saturation of discord and rhetoric decreases, in the name of Jesus. Cut off the pipelines of hate on every side. I know it will never leave, but at least it doesn’t have to thrive. Not like this.
Help us to see each other as part of the same whole… that helping or listening to our brother doesn’t discount us in any way. That we are spirits in human form.
Keep correcting us, O God. It hurts, but it’s necessary. Again, you remind us that we can’t say we are your children yet we treat each other otherwise. 1 John 4:19-21 states that we can’t love You and not love each other.
We say “Fill me up,” “I want to be like You,” and “Show me Your face,” but…
You keep showing us our hearts instead. We can’t even get the fundamentals right… the love You with all of our heart and to love our neighbors and ourselves… those… right there, those keep tripping us up from the Kingdom. You gave us the greatest commandment and I can only imagine Your face as we beg for more to follow.
Keep exposing.
Keep irrigating the wound so it can heal correctly somewhere… anywhere… everywhere…
Keep bringing us closer to where we should be instead of our cozy places. Only You can change the heart, but You also give us the free will to let You.
Keep my readers safe from all harm seen and unseen. Keep their minds clear and their hearts open to receive the Love you have so readily available to us all. Keep their ears open to hear Your voice and willing hands ready to serve.
In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen.
Be safe out there, Family. Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. Have a great week! 💙
I hope you’re doing well out there. I’ll pick up on the birthday shenanigans next week, but first, I have a confession to make. It’s a little lengthy, but it’s what we need to hear.
I’ve been in an unapologetic thuggish mode lately. In a good way, I believe. For example, I was in the grocery store with an arm full of items (the I won’t need a cart/basket phenomenon got me) and I paused to the side to let a tall man pass me. He was on his phone and didn’t look at his path. He headed straight toward me and almost knocked me down. I firmly said “Excuse you.” He kept going. Under usual circumstances, I would have shrugged it off, but I wasn’t game for being invisible and disrespected simultaneously that day, so I spoke up.
In another instance, I wanted to tell a fellow Christian to change Saviors because she obviously wasn’t interested in serving the one she chose. I wanted to abruptly end the conversation because I saw no point in continuing it. I was annoyed that she professed Christ’s Love over her life but was missing the beams of bias in her eyes. I listened and nodded and let the conversation naturally dissolve. This leads me to the “For Real” meaning of the blog post title… and the conviction behind my spiritually thuggish season.
We can’t say we love Jesus and desire be like Him but not allow Him to change us for the better. Remember that Vouchers post? We can’t sing songs like “Fill Me Up” and “Reckless Love” then cement the door on the parts of our hearts that need that prayer, e.g. bias, bigotry, addiction, abuse, etc. We can’t raise our hands to the heavens, but then mow over the hurt of our brothers and sisters? For some reason, we can let the Holy Spirit work on areas of disbelief, pornography addiction, drug recovery, and even murderous thoughts but if the flashlight of the Lord hit in the other dark corners we stand in front of it and say “That doesn’t apply.” Let’s take a brief look into our faith-filled fishbowl.
We are still telling brothers and sisters in Christ that racism and discrimination are not real and all they have to do is love Jesus to transcend it all.
I’ve watched Christians be more loyal to their political affiliations than to the Word of God.
I’ve observed Christians respect the American flag and the President more than their neighbor.
I’ve witnessed Christians speak vile things to each other, but separately speak kindness to their like-minded/similar-faced friends.
Photo by @thiszun (follow me on IG, FB) on Pexels.com
If we proclaim to be the children of God, we should look alike even we don’t agree. We shouldn’t have so much sibling rivalry where entire classes of people feel outnumbered. Right now, we don’t look alike and frankly, it makes the name of Jesus look bad to those seeking refuge from the chaos.
I have a prickly question for you Sweethearts — Are you allowing God’s Word to examine your heart in this season of quarantine? The hideaway coves. The cozy places. The rock-hard political stances. The back porch rhetoric. The no-holds-barred approaches to changes… are you letting the mirror of God’s Word create transfiguration in you? If not, why did you say Yes?
That’s where I am. It’s where I’ve been for a while.
I have a holy annoyance with members of my faith community because we’re arguing over simple topics and opposing the very thing God sent His Son to die for — equal access to Him. But we set His pillars on an isolated hill like the one in the featured photo, never to touch again. We go to church. We do the things. But we don’t let the transformative power of Jesus into our lives. We let the Cross stay there as a relic on the lawns of our hearts. We rant on social media, sip and talk smack at the water cooler at work, and all the while remain indignant about what God said about brotherhood, loving your neighbor as yourself, exercising the greatest commandment of Love, being a whole body made up of many parts, doing good unto others, bearing one another’s burdens, etc. It’s like something my mother said one day — there’s something wrong when a supervisor is eating steak and the employee has to eat bologna everyday and better be happy about it. In other words, we profess Christ’s Love for all, but we don’t exercise it as we should. We live in a culture where the norm is to maintain a gap of intangibility. Are there opportunities for all, sure! We see it every time another minority group breaks a ceiling to be the first to do something. Nevertheless, there is a pressured thumb on certain individuals while others reap the benefits of their labor. And it doesn’t take an expert to see it. Let’s take another dip in the fishbowl one more time.
What is the rationale of having a minimum wage that barely taps the poverty line for the basic standard of living?
Where is the recompense when journalists, humanitarian workers, and missionaries are captured and/or killed overseas?
How can we boast in providing the best opportunities in the world yet not provide adequate resources for the homeless/transient community?
Why were we accepting of athletes receiving a season off with pay to prevent the spread of COVID-19, but government officials strong armed educational workers to teach in person?
Some things simply do not make sense, Family, and we can’t lay a blanket of faith on it and call it well. We have to acknowledge, accept, and acquiesce to His Way. The problems have been here; we were finally still enough to see and feel it. This year brought the mirror and we can’t let it go to waste.
As I exit, I want you to reassess why you accepted Jesus as your Savior and if you are allowing Him to do what needs to be done in you. We can’t ask for His likeness if we aren’t ready for it. When we accepted Jesus into our hearts, that wasn’t a period. It was just the beginning. It was the starting point to transfiguration. If you think that the only thing the Holy Spirit was sent to work on was your patience and hope, think again. He works on it all and it’s our season to get out of the way and let Him do it. For the better.
Peace & Thanks for listening! Stay well out there and Love well too!
We made it to Thursday (it’s after midnight here) and I’m proud of us. So proud. I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been praying for you.
Tonight, I want to share a few prayers that I’ve said to cover you over time.
“Father God, I pray their hearts are healed and whole.”
“Lord, please be with them wherever they are.”
“Lord, keep them safe.”
“God, I thank you for them all.”
“Hold them close.”
“Lord, give them everything they need and more.”
“Remind them that they’re beautiful today.”
“Help them hear Your voice.”
“Give them something to laugh about today.”
“Let them know that they are special to you.”
“Lord, wrap them in Your Love right now.”
“Please give them strength, in the Name of Jesus.”
I pray that you felt remembered, motivated, strengthened, or calmed at some point while visiting my writing home.
Just like I hoped one of these prayers reached your need, I encourage you to say yours to do the same for someone else. We need each other now more than ever and this is not the time to withhold a prayer of any size. All are welcome and necessary.
“Prayer is simply talking to God like a friend and should be the easiest thing we do each day.”
– Joyce Meyer
This week, try exhaling a line of prayer from your heart. Don’t tell yourself that it isn’t good enough to say aloud. Those are lies from the pit of hell. Breathe it. Speak it. Whisper it if you have to. Just don’t trap it inside because of the lie. It could be the very prayer someone is praying for.
Stay well out there, Sweethearts. Peace & Thanks for listening.
This week, I learned a valuable lesson. I mean really learned it. You know how you know something, but then at some point, you know it? Well, that’s what happened while I was minding my merry business.
On Sunday, I had a conversation that left me uneasy for 3 days. My chest felt tight every time I thought about it. After all, I had extended so much grace toward this particular entity, and there I was in a conversation about something beyond my control. I told the person in charge that I wasn’t offended, but truthfully, I was trying not to be offended. I was calm at the moment, but on the way home, I vented to God about it but it didn’t help. I was still tinged.
I knew I wasn’t upset with the person in authority. After some deep me diving (my emotional intelligence is high), I tapped into the real reason I felt “some kinda way.” I hate for my character to be in question and that was the spot that Sunday’s conversation hit on. So, before bed, I prayed that God would take away my default setting of retraction. I wanted to decrease my workload from this entity and let them know why. I wanted to open the box of grace extensions and remind them how they were not reciprocated. Forcefully, I thanked God for the work and tried to settle into a slumber, but I kept tossing. Still don’t know how I got to sleep, so I’ll chalk it up to divine intervention.
Thanks to the YouTube ministry, I watched a sermon by Bishop T. D. Jakes called God Smells Honor on the way to work (it popped up twice). I had heard the story of Noah a plethora of times but never thought of how the very thing Noah built for safety was also a smelly mess. Just think… animal and human waste + one window. *shudder* Then, Bishop Jakes mentioned that he pastored a church of fewer than 100 members for 10 years in West Virginia. He said it was there that God developed his leadership, integrity, patience, discipline, etc. The main idea of this part in his sermon was that the very place that is uncomfortable, messy, or claustrophobic is the very place you need to grow. So, I paused the video and prayed another prayer that went something like this — “God, whatever it is that you’re trying to develop in me, I accept it. Please help me to understand what I need to learn while I’m here. It’s only going to make me better, so I’m open.”
Within seconds of that prayer, I received a phone call for more work from that same entity but a different person. Now, what if I was in a petty state of mind at the time of that call? I would have rationalized a reaction that would have actually stunted my growth and my income. Instead of saying no to the work, I said yes… with a clear heart. Then it clicked. The entity is my soil not my enemy. Anything else is smoke and mirrors.
That’s a tactic of the dark forces that be — to create a spirit of offense so that you essentially attack yourself while you’re under construction. You forfeit your growth opportunity and end up being stunted in that area. Maybe it’s something tangible like organization skills or intangible like patience. This is where the Word goes beyond Sunday and meets you in the middle of the road. The broken one that you don’t want to be on.
Tonight, I pray that you grow up and pray a grown prayer. I pray that you see the soil for what it is… a divinely-purposed place to develop something within you or extract something that could negatively affect your future self. I learned that this week in a new way. It’s not easy at all, but anything that has to be birthed, is going to be messy and as long as I allow the smoke and mirrors trick to work, I won’t be able to turn into the improved version of C. J. Wade. I won’t be able to show the version of Jesus that someone needs to see. After all, my character can stand on its own.
By the way, you’ll have to check out Bishop Jakes’ tie between the ark, a cocoon, and a mother’s womb… an epic correlation.
Peace & Thanks for listening! Here’s to aerating that soil!
Short and sweet, that’s exactly how the prayer sounds. Every time I pass by someone who is experiencing car trouble, I can’t help it. I’m an empath.
Now, I know everyone is not genuinely stranded and no, I do not stop to help. I do, however, make a non-emergency phone call when it appears only the driver is present so help can be on the way. I also pray whenever I see someone walking along the interstate emergency lanes. Why do I say a prayer every time? You can thank my mother for that.
I recall us being stranded on the interstate when I was a child. It was nighttime and a sweet family (who didn’t know us) stopped and took us to the nearest exit. I remember the couple had a little girl that was a bit younger than me and they moved her to the front so my mother and I could sit in the backseat. She and I kept looking at each other and I remember thinking how different our lives probably were. Without digressing too far, let’s just say I’m glad they helped us and who knows if the drivers before them said a prayer for us until they arrived.
God hears every prayer, even the short ones at 70 miles per hour when you see someone changing their flat tire. Try incorporating this habit into your commute as well. Think about the time you were inconvenienced with car trouble and have enough empathy to pray for others. Perhaps your prayer is just the jumpstart they need to receive a miracle.
Prayer:“Thank you so much for loving me back. I don’t know what I would do without You.”
Reciprocity of love is such a beautiful thing. I snuggle in it. When you extend yourself to someone and s/he does the same, it develops a level of unparalleled trust. That trust is then strengthened to a force that can never be broken.
That’s how I feel in my relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I believe in the Trinity and that each form envelops me in Love in different ways… and there’s nothing like it. I appreciate the fact that in my faith, God loves me back. I could never return the same Love, but the Love I have is welcomed and appreciated. There’s an exchange between the Creator and me and it has formed a bond of trust that I can not denounce. I smile and I feel Him smile back. I look at nature and see a nurturing mother providing for her children. I show Love to people to sow into the spiritual connectivity of mankind. It encircles us all if we let it.
I pray that you experience reciprocity of Love as well. You deserve it. Hugs, kisses, warmth, all of it. I truly never feel unloved and you are worthy of the same Truth.
Peace, LOVE, and Thanks for listening, Sweetheart!
Listening at the Speed of Life 