Happy Wednesday, Family!
I’m excited to connect with you in another season of the blog, and this season starts with something we all know — underwear.
I bought new underwear today. Now, don’t get it twisted. I don’t own holey, raggedy pairs. So, why did I buy new ones? Great question. Grab some tea and let me tell you.
I was in the store getting some quick necessary items. As I walked toward the checkout area, I passed by home decor and thought “One day, I’ll be able to buy what I want without caring for the price. I’ll buy it because I like it and it’s for me.” I’ve never been a retail-therapy girl, but I’ve always been a gut shopper. I have to love it or I won’t buy it. It has to make sense to me. Once I’m locked in on it, it’s a done deal.
So, I kept floating through this mini-prayer as my feet led me past the vases, pillows, and plush seating. The soft colors and textures lured me into their lair, so I stood in a trance for a minute. Slowly blinking and imagining. Virtually placing furniture pieces in my future forever home. I was daydreaming and I was enjoying it. I sighed and kept walking, but I wasn’t sad. Longing, but not sad.
Then, a seedling of annoyance grew into an epiphany.
I need new underwear. Like all new underwear.
I have a variety of styles, so I was specifically looking for casual comfort. Now, we’re family around here, so you’ll just keep reading without judgment, OK? OK, great.
I felt this overwhelming urge to buy underwear… to buy what I needed. To replace the old and walk in the new – literally. Suddenly, my feet had a mind of their own and I meandered through the store and into the underwear section. Then I sighed again.
This was ridiculous. Why was I overanalyzing the purchase of a necessary item? Is that not what I came into the store to buy? Well… no. I didn’t come to buy underwear, but yes, I came to buy what was necessary. And there I was looking at the display and second-guessing my next move.
Why? Because I have plenty of underwear at home, but I don’t wear them.
Photo by ud83dudc34chuanyu2015 on Pexels.com.
I don’t wear 98% of my underwear because they are uncomfortable. Too tight here, not enough tightness there, fabric feels weird on my skin, lace feels scratchy, and we won’t talk about wedgies. Just uncomfortable. I rotate the regular players and even I get sick of looking at them on the field every week. This coming from a former Victoria’s Secret associate who knows her way around undergarments of all kinds. What a waste I was making of that product knowledge.
So, why do I still have the unusable underwear? Because somewhere in this amazing brain of mine, I think one day they will fit perfectly and I just need to keep them until they do. I paid for them and I don’t want to waste my money. Whatever the truthy-lie was, it had stopped working. I was done with overlooking my underwear conundrum. There was no excuse why I should keep players on the bench knowing I’ll never play them.
Mmmm…, I thought, they may not be on sale today.
Turns out they were. Quality, cute underwear on sale. Comfortable, cute underwear on sale.
So, I bought 4 pair. And I smiled at my spiritual victory over the scarcity mindset once again. It likes to creep up on me at the oddest of times, like in a normal store run for deodorant and toothbrushes.
But today, it didn’t win. And the next time, it won’t either. I plan to keep winning until it becomes normal too.
How long will you be comfortable with discomfort… mediocre… unrest? Something you don’t have to deal with but you keep telling yourself a truthy-lie to keep you comfortable in it.
How long will you deprive yourself of what you need, what you rightfully should own… like joy, peace, and Love?
How many more times will you denounce the authority God has already given you?
That drawer at home is full of underwear that I don’t use and won’t use, yet it takes up space where something else can live. It’s wasted real estate and I had become comfortable with it for years. A few pair would be discarded here and there, but the truth was that I was holding on to something that was wasting space.
What are you holding on to that is wasting space in your heart? I believe God has so much more for us than we allow. That’s why my recent prayer has been “Expand my arms to hold what you have for me.” I can’t say I want better and have my fists outstretched toward heaven. God needs them open, wide open.
I plan to keep winning.
I plan to keep opening my arms.
I plan to keep praying for guidance out of old habits.
I pray you do the same.
Peace & Thanks for listening!
CJW
Fast forward a bit to working in the retail world after college. I wanted to make extra money to minimize my debt. Needless to say, my patience was shorter and my tolerance level had dropped dramatically. I couldn’t understand either side of the tomfoolery. Why wake up, get dressed, and drive through traffic to be lazy or cause havoc as an employee or a customer? Don’t get me wrong – quality service is important to me. I’ve worked retail on the management level as well, and I understand the value of meeting the needs of every customer and providing solutions that benefit both the company and the consumer. In those leadership positions, I also believed in protecting employees from abusive behavior and I did not tolerate the degradation of anyone on my team. Nevertheless, when the roles are reversed from humans-on-equal-terms to employee-consumer, something changed.
Listening at the Speed of Life 