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#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #14

Prayer: “Lord, please cover my words. I didn’t mean to say it like that. Just cover all of that, please. I’m so sorry. Let them know I didn’t mean it.”

I’ve said plenty of things that I didn’t mean. It may have come out of my mouth with a little more heat than I expected or it wasn’t as clear as the thought in my mind. Either way, I was put in a position where I couldn’t take it back or I couldn’t reach the person to fix it. Like a muddy pig, my words slipped out and there was no redeeming the moment.

One time, I was at an event where my team donated water. I mentioned over the mic that our water was cold and my team later tapped me on the shoulder to let me know that it could have been taken in a negative way… as if to throw shade at other water donors. That thought was the furthest thing from my mind when I said it and I couldn’t run back on stage to fix it. All I do was pray that prayer above. It may be small, but I never want to hurt anyone in word or deed — knowingly or unknowingly.

Sweethearts, it’s inevitable that your words will not adequately reflect your intent one day if it hasn’t already. I pray that you’re wise enough to own it and ask God for forgiveness. I’ve run into people that recalled me from an event and they had no clue what I was apologizing for. God always knows the heart. Remember that. And you’re not perfect. Remember that too. Just do your best to have a clear highway in your heart for God’s Love to always land.

prov 21.2

Peace & Keep Praying, Sweethearts. May God direct the words of us all and clarify our intentions toward each other.

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #13

Prayer: “Lord, please help my friend.”

The worst feeling for me is wanting to provide assistance but something is blocking me from doing so. I’ve experienced blockages of both distance and spiritual directives when it came to those situations. There were times when I truly wanted to extend myself and God told me no. That hurt just as bad as not being physically present in their time of need. Now, my friends (and I don’t take that term lightly) know they can call me at any time. If I can, I will — they know that too, but what do you when your hands are tied? When you know that this is a lesson they have to learn on their own? When you want to do it for them, but you know it will handicap them instead? When you’re hundreds of miles away? I had to learn to release that control freak to God too.

I say this often — I’m not Jesus, but I do listen to Him. I can’t be everywhere for everybody. I can’t make every baby shower, wedding shower, bridal party, funeral, birthday party, retirement party, hospital stay, court hearing, church event… you get the point. Trust me, I tried and it was an exhausting lesson of my finite abilities. I had to make peace with that unfortunate truth and send prayers where my hands couldn’t reach. Sometimes, I’ve sent prayers and a PayPal blessing where my pockets permitted. Other times, I stopped what I was doing, tucked away in an empty classroom or closed the door to my office and interceded on their behalf. Whether through my hands or my lips, through a text message or through a hug, my friends are always on my prayer list and I have learned to let God move through me however he wishes in order to confirm His Love in their situation. I’ve gone through some doozies with my tribes, but they always appreciate prayer… and so do I.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts! Keep praying for your friends and listening for your next steps! I love y’all!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #12

Prayer: “Thank you for my life. It may not be everything I thought it would be, but it’s not as bad as it could be. I appreciate where I am. Thank you for being here with me.”

I’ve had my fair share of close calls and downfalls. I could have lost my life due to car accidents alone (before I started driving) not to mention the other unfortunate situations that could have taken me out of the game. If you ask me, I believe I’ve had a spiritual hit on me for quite some time, but I’m still here.

Outside sentiments usually include “You’re so busy!” “What can’t you do?” “How do you make time for all of that? and “When do you get to rest?” If you only knew how often I thought my time was up and that I wouldn’t get the chance to realize my visions, you’d understand why my grind-rest balance is so strong. I also had seasons of bitterness (yeah, definitely more than one) because my social clock wasn’t ticking according to everyone else’s timetable. Then that prayer became a breathing point in my spirit to re-align myself with the truth. No, I don’t have the things I thought I would at this age, but I have had some groovy things transpire so far like international travel and exhilarating performances. Amazing food experiences and friend excursions full of joy and authenticity. Moments of supernatural solitude and beautiful loving relationships. I’ve gone deep-sea diving into myself and found gems unbeknownst to words. I have a clear sense of self, reverence for God, and a refined focus on my purpose. All before the age of 40. For that, I will be forever grateful.

I thank God for my life. All that it is. All that it isn’t. Everything it has yet to become.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts! Keep praying and I am praying for you!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #11

Prayer: “Lord, please help the homeless. Watch over them all wherever they are. Keep them safe from harm. Please protect them from the weather. Please keep them warm and let help find them soon.”

While the words transient and homeless are still debatable, the fact remains that there are people that do not have a formidable structure in which to live. My heart aches for them, but when the weather is strong, I say this prayer. Every time. The truth is that many Americans are a couple of paychecks away from losing their homes due to lopsided debt-to-income ratio, illness, or lack of income altogether. The part deux of that truth is without multiple jobs or help from friends and family, a lot of us wouldn’t be where we are today.

My church collaborates with a ministry organization that meets the physical and spiritual needs of the homeless community in Birmingham, Alabama. I volunteer with them at times and one day I met a man who intrigued me (I won’t use his name with respect). He asked for prayer and was happy to do so. After we prayed, I asked the burning question… what his life was like before he lived here. He explained how successful his cleaning business was in another state and that he came to Birmingham to help a sick family member. Unfortunately, the family member abused his assistance and eventually, he lost his job and his home trying to help his loved one. That moment of humanity will forever be etched into my spirit. His smile. His “It’s OK. I’ll be fine” attitude. The warmth of his heart. I think about him often… hoping that I’ll see him again.

What I have to remember is that God is everywhere I can’t be. He is with him and my other homeless brothers and sisters. He is with the mentally ill. He is with the veterans. I don’t know the why and I can’t help everyone, so my prayer will remain where my hands can not reach.

When you get a chance, add the forgotten to your real prayer list. Who knows? You may be the answered prayer they have been waiting for.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #10

Welcome to Day 10 of #bloglikecrazy! Thanks for hanging with me! If you’re just joining in, I’m sharing real prayers I have prayed to encourage others to be honest with themselves and transparent with God.

Prayer: “Lord, thank you for my car. Thank you for my car. Just let me make it home with no problems. Lord, let it keep running.”

Vehicles are considered luxuries to some agencies, but I beg to differ. When you don’t live near public transit like me, a car is the means to acquire income. Mind you, this prayer was pre-ridesharing companies. My biggest fear at that time? Depending upon someone for continuous transportation. I didn’t want to puncture my pride and be a burden to my circle. Not that my car would stop on the side of the road. Not that I would experience a financial burden. Pride. That was the dark cloud hovering overhead. So, I prayed… out of pride, not out of fear of being stranded.

Although my words were flaw-filled, I meant them whole-heartedly and that wasn’t the last time I prayed that prayer. Every time, I just wanted to get home safely. And you know what? He heard me anyway. It may be small to someone else, but sputtering along until I made it home was the only item at the forefront of my mind. At the core of my prayer communication, I defaulted to what I knew — be grateful for what I had and pray for what I needed. Desperation will make you do that.

I pray that you’ll let desperation release from your lips whenever necessary. I’ve learned to do that often in His Presence without shame. It’s a beautiful surrender to be honest with God. Try it. Breathe. Try it again.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #9

Prayer: “I love You so much. There is no one more important than You.”

I spoke these words during a tumultuous season in my life. So much chaos was going on and I felt like I was holding my ground on a piece of 12″ x 12″ floor tile. It was inevitable that I could lose my mind at any moment as I kept getting pelted by unexpected life blows.

In my tears and in the effort to clutch some grains of sanity, I shared my heart with my Father. I kept repeating those words until my humanity believed it; my spirit had a head start. Everything was stressing me out, so nothing seemed to be more important than my relationship with Him. Money, Career, Relationships, Ambitions… they all seemed frivolous in comparison to receiving His strength at that time. I felt His Love envelop me as I wept and I will never forget the overwhelming infusion I experienced. No one can make me deny that moment.

Tonight, I pray that you realize nothing is more important than your relationship with your Creator. When you have Him, you have everything. For real.

Peace & Thanks for listening! #prayrealprayers

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #8

Prayer: “God, this is the perfect night to walk with someone, but I’m cool with just walking with You. Thank you for being my Friend.”

I remember this one. The sky had transitioned to beautiful dusk and I was drinking it in during a light stroll. Scenes of a good rom-com flashed across my eyes. I could see it all. The hand-holding, the jokes, the unveiling of truths… it was a perfect night for all of that goodness. I could hide it from others, but from God, I just didn’t want to. Not at that moment. I wanted to be honest with my feelings — my romantic pining to be exact. So, instead of the “I wish…” rabbit hole, I decided to let it out. Once I did, I grew overwhelmingly grateful for the friendship of God.

I didn’t feel like I was walking alone.

I wasn’t lonely.

I was sincerely appreciative to not feel alone. I enjoy my own company well now, but that’s because I’ve sat in the ashes of loneliness before. It’s a dark place. Although walking with a loving man would have been the perfect treat, the truth was that I felt like Love was all around me. I smiled to myself. I admired nature. I kept praying aloud. I shared what I wanted and what I didn’t want in a partner. I shared how much I loved His Presence. I told God that walking with Him was just as beautiful as the sky He painted. I felt in love with being alive in Him. Everything else would come in due season.

If you’re in a place of transition, pray a real prayer. Acknowledge where you are and verbalize it to your Creator. I pray God’s Love covers your shoulders along your walk, too.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweetheart!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #7

Prayer: “Why can’t people just do right?! Why is that is so hard?! Lord, get your children because I can’t deal!”

Don’t act like you have never walked away shaking your head at a few people. It may be the workplace, but some folks just make you wish for a Mortal Kombat standoff (Scorpion, anyone?). Countless occasions have yielded moments like these in my life and it wasn’t easy to walk away. I mean, c’mon, when you factually know that a person is lying to you or doesn’t host your best interest or is tarnishing your character, that’s enough to make anyone twitch. At times, only God stood between me and the other soul, and s/he will never know it. I’m not a fighter, but Sweethearts, I’ve definitely been tested as such. The unfortunate part is that I’ve thought of so many spiteful things to say and do in retaliation. Enough to stay on the altar until the day I die.

While it would be wonderful to experience camaraderie with everyone, that’s just unrealistic and the Lord and I have had plenty of conversations about His creations. Can I love you without liking you? Yes! Love is a commandment; Like is not. Even the Bible tells you the real deal.

“Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

See? Do all. you. can.

So, if you’ve ever been in the situation of wanting to dropkick someone, you’re not alone. Just don’t do it. It’s not worth it. The best revenge is the view from your mountaintop. But until you get there, get those prayers out of your system… every time. Make it a habit so you can stay free.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Stay prayed up!

#bloglikecrazy: Peep My Prayers #6

Prayer: “I don’t understand this one. You’re going to have to help me with this. I don’t get it. Why did they have to die? Why couldn’t you just take someone else? This just doesn’t make sense. I don’t get it.”

I admit that I have thought about the following: Why did she have to die in a car accident? Why did he have to die with Alzheimer’s? Why did she die before seeing me graduate? 

I know it’s not acceptable Christian vernacular, but I’m guilty of asking God why he didn’t take someone else’s life in place of the ones I love. I thought of the rapists, the murderers, the pedophiles… the ones deemed by society as below hell’s respect of persons, then I thought of how sweet my persons were. How undeserving their deaths were in my eyes. I couldn’t wrap my rationale around the reality of my persons no longer being a phone call away and to be brutally honest, I was pissed. Why would a good God take away pieces of my heart? Some deaths were easier to handle while others pushed me off my axis. What was I supposed to do with that… all of that anger and confusion?

I questioned my faith. I questioned the validity of the Bible. I didn’t want to hear that they were “in a better place.” I wanted them here. With me. No exceptions. No soothing back rubs. No funeral flowers. Just here… where I could touch them. Talk to them. Love on them again. At those times, the only prayer I could release were the words above and I had to trust that God wanted to hear my pain just as much as my praise.

During those seasons, I clung to this Bible verse with every fiber of my weakness. It was the only thing that made sense because it described how I felt.

Psalm 34:18
Courtesy of YouVersion – The Bible App

The most difficult thing to do was to crawl my way back to Love after feeling scorned by it. I had to come to terms with the truth that I didn’t know the prayers of my persons. It could have been one of relief or swiftness. I don’t know. I just knew I was hurting and my prayer lines were on life support. Eventually, I made my way from a crawl to a kneel like a fighter recovering from a blow. Kneeling transitioned to standing. Breathing slowly. Then came walking forward. No one could rush me or assign a path to my process. Only God could resuscitate me back to life and I had to grow to the point to let Him do it.

I love you all and pray that you feel confident to pray a real prayer of grief whenever you’re ready. He can handle it. Trust me. I’m a living, breathing, walking witness of that. You are still more than a conqueror. You are still strong. It’s just time for you to be honest about the rest.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

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