#10 – I had a movie night with my pRHOphyte Cindy… and won!
So, there’s this game that my pRHOphyte and I play and I finally won… after 17 years. She’s one of the founding members of my sorority’s chapter at the University of Alabama at Birmingham and a serious movie buff. I try to stump her by picking a movie that she’s never seen and until this year, I would lose… horribly. This is usually how it goes:
ME: “Oooooo, Cindy, I got one for you this time! It’s a good one!”
CINDY: *giggles* “OK. What’s the name of it?”
ME: *insert movie title here*
CINDY: “Oh, yeah, that’s the one where she *insert scene description here*. That is a good one.”
ME: *face palm*
See my plight? See why I’m excited? You try going through that year after year and see where your cinematic self-esteem goes. Well, this time, I picked one she had never seen and she loved it. Woohoo!
Find something to enjoy with people you care about and set a date! It’s fun to share something different with different people in your circle and there’s a way to uniquely connect with each of your friends.
Ruby Tuesday may not be their thing and they may hate hiking, but they may love bowling and get excited about NASCAR or history. Whatever it is, find it and share it with them. You may love it, hate it, or truthfully, you may enjoy the same sports team but hate watching the game together. lol! At the end of the day, extend yourself a bit and enjoy something together. You may be surprised by how strong your bond can truly be.
Peace, Thanks for listening, and Happy Veteran’s Day to all military service personnel and their families! Fellow civilians, have you paid your vet-debt-a today?
#10 – I was able to celebrate the life of my SoRHOr and witness the baptism of her son.
It was bittersweet, but I was honored to attend both occasions. My Sorority Sister passed away in January and my SoRHOrs gathered to support her family and each other. Four months later, I listened to her son express his pain and revelation before being baptized by my pastor. The Good was simply being present, to celebrate life on both accords.
The life we live has the opportunity to affect others for the rest of their lives. We only get one chance to walk this Earth and what we do with it is crucial. There is equal opportunity to help and hurt everyone we meet. Perfection is not promised, but authenticity is attainable. We should live this life to enrich the soil of other souls. Why else would you need to breathe? Every breath is a chance to make something better. My SoRHOr Nicki did that. That’s why I was able to learn Legend in the process of becoming a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. and feel the essence of her passion, hug her and experience the love of one SoRHOr to another, and shed tears at her funeral. Her life impacted mine and when I see her husband and children, I speak. I hug them too. She multiplied herself in them and in me.
#9 – My blog and my publishing company turned 2 years old!
When I started this blog, I didn’t think anyone would read it. What I found was a group of friends and strangers that felt the same way I did, experienced similar situations, wanted to be supported, and wanted to support me. That is a lot of Good to be grateful for this month!
This year marked 2 years of Listening At The Speed of Life and The Write Wade Publishing Company, LLC. I clearly remember the moments when I talked myself out of pressing the “publish” button numerous times and consulted with my Small Business Association representative. I was scared to open myself up for anyone to see. And the kicker was when one of my students within months of posting, said “Ms. Wade! I read your blog!” I froze like Clark Kent with an exposed identity. But what was I afraid of? Being judged. I look back on that moment now and shake my head and how terrified I was. Now, if a student or co-worker says they read my content or my book, I graciously say thank you and ask them their thoughts. The future me was definitely waiting for this present.
When you step into the pool or ocean, the water may seem too cold, but that’s what acclimation and affirmation are for. Everyone doesn’t dive in head-first. Professional swimmers splash water on themselves before diving, so there’s nothing wrong with priming yourself before you smash fear in the face. Say scriptures to yourself as affirmations of strength and promise. Write down 3 S.M.A.R.T. goals that you can accomplish in 10 days. Smoke one less cigarette today. Do something that your future self will be proud of, even if it’s a baby step. Just don’t be afraid to start because the two-year-old baby dream is waiting to be born.
Peace, Thanks for listening, and I appreciate you, Sweethearts!
#8 – I actually rested on an inclement weather day.
See that lioness? Well, she is me and when I got the chance to rest on an Alabama snow day, I took it. Guilt-free. Yes, the semester had just begun, but that didn’t matter. I was determined to do absolutely nothing with a pinch of homework. Just a pinch… nothing more. Usually, I fill surprise off days with as much work as they can hold. Why? Because there’s always something to do! Well, not this time. Nature called for no traffic, no hustle-and-bustle, no excessive noise… just a day of rest and whatever I wanted to do. *smh* It was great.
Stillness is a precious gift, and what a gift it was to be still for a day. Definitely introvert approved. More importantly, I realized that I could do so much by doing “nothing.” My “nothing” was actually “everything” I needed to do “something” the next day. I needed to regroup and gear up for the journey ahead. My mind, body, and spirit thanked me for it, too. Stillness doesn’t have to carry guilty baggage. It can simply sit with you as you binge watch episodes of the favorite primetime TV show that you always miss. It can also lull you into a nap while the sun is still shining. Stillness can even accompany you as you read a magazine, not online, but in your hands.
I pray that you find your Peace, Be Still Day before the end of the year. If not, plan it for January and stick to it. Doing nothing can be your everything.
#7 – I get to do life with a group of women that are hundreds of miles away!
Distance does not win if Love is in the middle and the ladies in my life group are proof. The group I am referring to is the Zion Queens iCampus Life Group based out of Zion Church in Landover, MD. Twice a month for 1.5 hours, we see each other’s beautiful faces and whenever we get ready, we check in to laugh and encourage one another. Gotta love technology. When I visited the church in 2013, I didn’t know I would connect with people that love me like a sister and pray for me like they’ve known me their whole lives. That’s definitely the good stuff!
Real relationships take exposing of the soul, and it takes courage to do it no matter what age you are.
These women have been vital to my spiritual growth. They’re authentic and exceptional. I am so blessed to have them in my life and you probably have the same opportunity at your place of worship, in your community organization, or in your neighborhood. The hundreds of miles that separate us do not diminish the intensity of intimacy we have among each other. The special ingredient? Trust. That’s the magic sauce.
Who are you willing to expose your soul to? Guess what. Someone else wants to do that with you too. And even though you’re scared, you’ll find your safe space and your tribe will be there with open arms.
Peace & Thanks for listening! “See” you tomorrow, Sweethearts!
In my performing arts troupe, I play both sides of the field. It’s a delicate balance, really… one that took time and heaping spoonfuls of humble pie over the years. My Troupe has committees, each serving as a gear to make the machine called “us” run smoothly. There is plenty to do and while I am proud to lead such a fabulous group of professionals, I am even more proud when they don’t need me to turn a dream into reality. Last year, I vowed to be a better follower and when the situation called for it this year, I truly enjoyed wearing that hat.
I am on two committees and I loved meeting with my committee teammates, brainstorming and executing our plans, and presenting ideas to the Troupe like other team members. It was fun and it gave me a grassroots view upon which to compare my aerial one. My ideas were not always chosen and they didn’t play favoritism just because I’m the founder. We worked together and I loved every minute of it. In the end, I felt more well-rounded as a leader and collaborative as a follower!
As a leader, my job is to create other leaders, not do everything myself. Now, there something you should know – I’m a perfectionist, so when I founded this organization, I truly felt like I had to do everything and as a result, my Troupe didn’t feel like I didn’t trust them to do anything. Over time, we communicated openly and worked on being a well-oiled machine instead of a bunch of squeaky gears. The result is a group of 10 people that know their roles, serve in them well, and be interchangeable as needed.
Are you allowing yourself to be a team player? Do you listen to the heartbeat of your team or do you just push them to exhaustion?
What would happen if all of our leaders learned how to be exceptional followers?
Why is this a big deal? Because like any other relationship, sometimes the demands of life cause us to pass by each other like ships in an ocean of responsibilities. The good thing is that we’re transparent enough with each other to say Hey, I need some sister time and do something about it.
Ashlee and I met in college and now we creatively cross paths as members of two performing arts companies. She is the assistant director of one and I am the founder of the other and we easily weave in and out of each other’s leadership like Olympic skating partners. Mutual respect. Mutual trust. But at the end of the day, when I need my sister, I’m not afraid to tell her and she’s not afraid to tell me. We don’t mix buckets – work is work, us is us. The result? Laughing over pasta, sharing updates over tea sips, and dancing at random moments. This year, I got to spend some old-fashioned QT with one of my favorite humans and it was definitely fuel for the soul.
Notice the people in your life that you don’t have to entertain and be perfect for and be that person for them as well.
Ashlee and I enjoy being around each other because we accept each other for who we are no matter where we are in life. I love that we can just… be. With almost 20 years of friendship under our belts, we have learned to be emotionally honest and give each other room to grow. It reminds me that God wired us for unconditional Love and when we share that Love with other people, it leads to a pretty dope life.
#4 – I get to do life with Workmanship Incorporated!
No matter how tired I am after a long day at work, rehearsing with my Troupe always energizes me. It fills me up. Workmanship Incorporated is an exceptional hodgepodge of spiritual, intelligent, quirky artists that love God, love people, and go hard in the paint every day. In January, we kicked off a rebranding campaign and geared up for a new performance season. While rehearsing with them, I often ask God how I could be so blessed to know them, let alone work with them. Being around them blesses me inside and out. We laugh, cry, and serve together. We can be transparent with each other without judgment, accepting the messy version of each other at the drop of a dime and uplifting each other. I may be the founder/leader, but this fantastic group of humans has stuck with me through the most difficult seasons in my life and I am humbled to be a page in their life story. They are definitely some Good!
At one point, everyone in these photos was a stranger. What made us family is that we took a chance on becoming friends. Can you imagine how many family members you’re missing out on because you won’t get out of your comfort zone? Let’s take it a step further – are you around people that bless you internally? Do you refill them as well?
What makes my Crew amazing is that they’re tangible, not perfect. You may not have a group of people to be perfectly imperfect with, but there’s at least one person that fits the description in this world. She or he just may be a stranger right now. Don’t be afraid to fill and be filled.
#2 – I danced and mimed at Dance Across Birmingham!
Why is this significant? Because I didn’t die doing it!
Dance Across Birmingham is hosted by the Alabama Dance Council (ADC) and is a creative ritual for me. My adventurous self gets to frolic between any dance genre that tickles my fancy. For one Saturday out of the year, members of ADC provide free dance classes for the Birmingham community and beyond. You can learn everything from ballroom dancing to salsa to belly dancing to Bollywood. I love it!It gives me a chance to stretch my dance limits and be uninhibited with a group of strangers. No one judges your stumbling feet and flailing arms as you also learn with those who are classically trained. The instructors make sure that you have fun in all of your awkward glory and you meet some incredibly cool people in each class.
During lunchtime, the instructors become the performers and you watch them explode with excellence in their respective genres. Asian-inspired awesomeness, hip-hop glory… it’s a beautiful parade of talent, skill, and passion.. and I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to be on that stage.
Well, that dream became a reality this year thanks to Sistah LaVondia Smith, Founder and Artistic Director of Nathifa Dance Company & Outreach, LLC and Rosemary Johnson, Executive Director of the Alabama Dance Council. I was elated to dance with Sistah LaVondia and NDC because of their powerful and colorful African dancing and drumming. They are a sight to behold and a force to be felt! I had admired them since they began 25 years ago. If that wasn’t enough excitement, I performed a mime piece with my Troupe and was infused with strength! What an awesome 1-2 punch of goodness!
Fear is the only thing standing between you and Glory.
For decades I was scared of African dancing because of my respiratory issues. I was haunted by a fear of having an asthma attack mid-performance, so I cowardly never tried to learn it with full capacity of heart. Wow… to think of how much I was missing out! After that performance with NDC and a few others, I was offered the opportunity to join the Company. I was grateful and honored, to say the least.
The other fear I had was that my Troupe wouldn’t appear good enough to perform on that stage. We are a comprehensive powerhouse, but I honestly wasn’t sure if we would be accepted as equals. We are a group of faith-based performing artists that come from various backgrounds and our puzzle pieces fit perfectly to create movement that touches the soul. We unapologetically seek to reach an audience of ONE, but I couldn’t help but think that our colleagues wouldn’t understand us. I was emphatically wrong. Not only did they get it, but they enjoyed it!
All it took was a resolve to stand in the face of fear, push it down and walk over it. Sounds easy, but it wasn’t. I just did it anyway. If I had not done so, I would have missed out on two beautiful milestones and someone could have have missed a moment they may have needed to experience.
What is one thing that scares you, but you want to do it more than you’re afraid of it? I stand with you and pray for our boldness to run right over it. Will you get the tingle of timidity every now and then? Maybe. That doesn’t mean that you can’t conquer it, again and again.
Peace & Thanks for listening and “see” you tomorrow for Day 3 of #bloglikecrazy!