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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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clarity

Wednesday Wind Down: I’m Falling For It

Happy New Year, Family! (Yes, it’s still new.)

I hope your January went well and your February is falling in alignment.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a jam-packed so far. A lot of good, a wave of grief, jolts of anticipation, some foggy fatigue, and a lot of “what the what?” The second month of the year is fresh and I’m already wondering what else is in store.

From my continued health goals to smashing through internal brick walls with courageous fists, I’m in 2023 with my whole heart. All of me.

And that’s not a comfortable arena, but I’m willing to walk forward in everything God is calling me to do.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

It’s official. I’ve fallen in love with my journey.

The curves, the mountaintops, the forests, the depths… all of it. All of me.

And if I unfasten my armor a little, you’ll also find traces of fear. Christians hate to admit that, but I don’t mind saying it. God already knows its there, so why not? Both co-exist in my chest at any given moment. It’s the mix of knowing your marching orders and still feeling butterflies as you take the first step. It’s taking off your security blanket and feeling the chill before the warmth.

It’s saying “OK, let’s go.”

Photo by Lina Kivaka on Pexels.com

At this point in my life, I’ve finally fallen in love with faith. I never thought I would say those words. The open space over the line of trust can be intimidating if you forget who’s on the other side… the better version of yourself. The purpose smoldering inside of your heart. The beautiful blooms waiting to break forth from the garden of your soul.

My prayer is that you fall in love with the grit because you know it’s going to make you shine.

That you fall in love with the mud because it’s where the seeds live.

I pray you hold God’s hand and fall in love.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. 🙂

CJW

#bloglikecrazy: Day 12 – See So Much

I’ve had the pleasure and pain of seeing a lot around me…and so have you.

After a week of hateful spew oozing from the news channels, it was apparent that my eyes and my heart was in an overloaded state. I needed a break, a muse, a wisp of hope to flutter before my eyes and awaken my spiritual senses. Where was it?  The flutter. The glimpse of shimmer in all that was covered in coal. I couldn’t see it amidst the racial slurs on television, small-minded retorts, strong-willed behavior, and effervescent paranoia. My glass was half-full, but the vessel was cloudy enough to block the view that something good could be inside of it.

Then I came home to find a card in my mailbox from two friends checking on my health. The warmth of the contents were already seeping from the envelope, so after reading the beautiful words, I pressed the open card against my chest and felt the love that poured out of it. I remembered that in the same week, two friends invited me to their son’s birthday dinner because they saw me as part of their family. I recalled kind words, sweet gestures, and bleeding love from sincere hearts. Hearts encased in different shells than mine. I was grateful for my family’s consistency; however, the breath of fresh air at the top of that half-full glass was the perfect reminder that all is not toxic in the world of black, brown, white, etc.

For every thing I saw that ransacked my optimism, there were people with genuine respect that reminded me of something I had heard in my spirit earlier that week and that came up in conversation earlier that evening.

Hate the systems more than the people.

This was a hard pill to swallow and a difficult truth to hear. If I inflict the pain that I felt toward those who support what I despise, I am no better than the racists doing the same toward me. I can’t be vindictive toward every White person I encounter. I simply can’t. I don’t have the right to generalize no matter how angry I am at the mountains of ignorance on both sides. I don’t live in a mental utopia, and I definitely do not encourage the use of a band-aid to cover up our wounds, but my anger has to go somewhere constructive before it causes me to see through its glasses alone. Swirling inside of my chest and making me sick to my gut are not the best activities for it. Paying attention to our local government is a productive start for us all, but first, we pray to see that which we are truly fighting. We pray not to plow over the good stuff to scream about the bad. In all of our ranting, we have to see. And honestly, I see so much. So much beauty in the ashes of this aftermath that are waiting to be fragrant. Such an open road between two mountains. Sincere people going to work everyday trying to make a difference. I see the wisps. The shimmer. It doesn’t extinguish my flame, but at least it can materialize into hope.

I truly see so much. Thank God for that.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. – Ephesians 6:12 NASB

Peace & Thanks for listening.

Photo courtesy of The Open Road

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