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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

Tag

encouragement

No, thanks. I’m watching my Father-Figure…

Screenshot_2015-06-15-22-37-49_1A spoken word piece that one day I’ll have the courage to say in public. For now, this is the platform. To fathers and father-figures, I salute you today and everyday. Keep going. 👊

“Bills?
I pay them.
People?
I have to raise them?
Where are the instructions?
I don’t need them.
I’ll figure it out. Just let me see them.”

“Yes, I’m qualified.
Just give me chance.
My suit isn’t tailored.
I don’t know this dance, but
I promise I can do it.
I won’t be outworked.
I can figure it out
In my blue collar shirt.”

“How am I going to explain this when I get home?
They don’t get it. I’m really trying.
I feel alone…
Divisible
Invisible
At the same time.
Not having what you need
That’s despicable to me.
But there’s too many pieces I need to be
And I don’t know where to go
I’m trying to fix what’s broken, unspoken,
without a MANual
To help me grow.

That’s why I can’t show you
My tears and my fears.
The scars… I can’t hide.
My love for you is deep
But I can’t stretch my arms wide
Enough to help you understand
The battle I’ve learned to fight
The best way I can
Despite the tools I was given,
Living in a sardine can of lost dreams
Suffocating me with my own hands
I can’t breathe.”

“5 AM. Another day.
Gotta get out of here
Make a way
Make it happen
Scratching the surface
Until I find it.
God, I’m nervous.

I can’t cry.
I’m a man.
Men don’t complain.
They do what they can.
Family first.
Live second.
My net worth?
Please, don’t check it.”

I see you,
Invisible Man,
Walking tall in public
Encroached in spirit as you stand
Privately shaking, trying not to break open
Keep being, speaking as only you can.

Thank you. I mean it.
I know it’s your duty,
but gratitude is still in order
I appreciate you.
I’m grateful for your shoulders.

On behalf of every woman that’s ignorantly watching,
waiting for you to slip up
Lurking in lust, to trip you up
Buying your affection with the jewels between her thighs
I salute you for saying
“No, not tonight.”
For taking sons and daughters to football games and
Singing silly songs on the way to school
Worried about the gas tank not being full
Wishing that your bank account was bigger than a speck
Praying that you’ll move out of the projects
Hoping that your projects become successful
Dreaming for another way
Always helpful
Educating other folk’s kids everyday
You love them past their DNA.
You’re a survivor
Thriver
Pusher
Driver
The president of the house,
The kingdom we live in.
Your heart and passion supersede your dividends
And I thank you for the sleepless nights
Counting the costs
Catching our tears with your chest
Every time we felt lost.

Thank you. I mean it.
I know it’s your duty,
but gratitude is still in order
I appreciate your seed that
Built me to conquer
I recognize you because you look familiar
Like Jesus the Christ
My fearless Leader.

My burden bearer,
Distractions will come,
But I believe in you.
Those people? Over there?
They’re taking silent notes
Getting ready for their own test.
Only this time, without you knowing,
You’re the MANual.
You’re the model.
You’re the best.

Peace, Happy Father’s Day, & Thanks for listening. ✌

Where’s North?

photogrid_1462683172881.jpg

A plan with no direction… What a sad plight. You’ve gotten everything ready. The paperwork. The people. The protocol. The capital. But where’s North?

Figuratively, I see North as the place where all other movement hinges. It’s the starting point. Once you know where North is, you know where to start moving. The next steps are predicated upon confirming that one direction and ignorance, in this case, is not bliss. Without this vital information, we travel in circles of frustration and become disoriented in our mistakes. Our former “Big Idea” becomes the bane of our existence and we sit on a pile of confusion praying for the answer to that simple question… “Where’s North?”

If there was just a glimpse of light, a twinkle of a star, a rudimentary clue, you could find your way out of the woods. Until that moment arrives, you wait and heighten your attention in hopes of finding out sooner than later.

The mind of a man has plans, but they are nothing without God’s direction (Proverbs 16:9). He is North. Your plans are well made, but they’re in a jungle of questions and uncertainty.

Find North first. The rest of your journey will make sense as you walk.

What forest have you been wandering in lately? When’s the last time you were still enough to hear where North is?

The Drug of Choice

Flight Write

Do you know my most prized possession of learned content from this weekend? Here it is…

You have to choose to live.

You must decide to let life enter your situations and experiences.  You have to go to the door of your life, your “house,” and promptly let death out. He can come in many forms… defeat, illness, strife, anger, frustration, or despair.  They all have the same result — death.

Furthermore, death in mind is worse than death of body.  Your mind can be fresh and agile while your body is weak.  People have overcome life-threatening situations by the power of their mind.  Trying to override a matter of reality through the mystery of mental prowess can be a daunting challenge.  Everything outside of you says to quit, roll over in anguish, pull the covers over your head and don’t even try to fight.  You have to choose, right then, that your life is worth fighting for — regardless of who is in it, around it, or absent from it.

Choice is a powerful drug. 

It can cause you to accomplish great things and to clear hurdles taller than you or it can bring the onset of your demise.  It, like any other prescription, can be taken at will.  Even medicine forced through the veins must have consent.  Well, let me tell you something.  God gave you the prescription of making decisions… choices… also known as free will.  He could have pumped you up with a lot of bondage, especially when the decisions you made were not in your best interest.  Truth is, choice is potent and He knew that if you chose the negative for yourself, you would most likely remember not to do it again.  In the positive realm, that’s how life is.  When you choose life once, you will most likely choose it again because you liked the way it made you feel alive and present.  You’ll like the energizing warmth that brings you to smile and mean it from the depths of your being.  You’ll love the sound of your own laughter when it echoes through the halls of your soul.  You’ll enjoy soaking it all in with no gates in between.

When you kick death out of your residence, you make the decision to live in your “house.”  You utilize the keys and access the deadbolts on your potential.  Who wants to be a prisoner in the confines of themselves? No, you will not curl up and disintegrate in the dark corners of your mind.  You will go in your medicine cabinet and reach for CHOICE.  Pop a few affirmations, scriptures, community service, or local kindness (where you assist the person nearest you).  It may be hard to swallow because your reflexes say to gag and remain sour or lackadaisical, but ingest the choice to breathe in life.  Feel it in your lungs as you’re grateful for the air.  Feel it around  your waist as your hug yourself and on your hips as your hands confidently rest there.

You matter and you deserve to live EVERYDAY, not just on vacation.

You deserve to feel radiant whether you’re in a mansion or a halfway house. 

Let the choice of living digest and before you know it, you’re in the moment.  You’re dancing, smiling, reading, exercising, driving, and loving yourself in the decision you made.  You evicted death and he no longer roams freely about the rooms of your obligations such as mom, dad, caregiver, friend, etc.  He’ll try to get in, but you’ll be ready with your medicinal weapon… DECISION.

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