How’s the holiday weekend going? I hope you are having a good one.
Welcome to Episode 4. Are you ready? Let’s do it.
We started season 5 by creating context around my word of the year, SHINE. We talked about how you can’t shine without friction. Now, we’re going to be encouraged to see the process through to completion.
Did you know that you can’t polish silver in the same way you polish copper and brass?
Did you know scrubbing too hard will ruin a copper’s finish?
Did you know brass can be cleaned with ketchup?
Here’s my point – God is so intentional with us that even our journeys are customized to what we need to produce. If your patience needs work before opening the restaurant you didn’t know was coming, here comes the process. Your best self is always in the mind of the Creator.
Another thing to consider is how that solution looks when it is applied to the metal.
There’s nothing pretty about it.
The metal is covered with a paste- or butter-like substance and the process gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. While it looks like it’s tainting the metal, the rubbing, scrubbing, and wiping reveal what was waiting to receive the light. Waiting to show its beauty effortlessly.
And when you look at the polishing rag, it’s unbelievable how dirty it is compared to the metal’s brightness. The substance lifted the barrier between the metal’s potential and the light. That spoke to me because it describes the transition season I’m in.
There’s nothing pretty about that rag either.
It’s a reflection of everything that stuck on you over time.
The invisible factors that caused you to tarnish and appear worthless. The way you were mishandled. The decisions you made. The not-so-great parts of you. The things you need lifted from your soul, but couldn’t do yourself.
The polishing rag holds the ugly parts of you that are masking the amazing. So, one of my recent prayers has been, “I know you’re helping me shine. Help me to be patient as you’re lifting the parts off me that I don’t need. Remove the residue and reveal the me you see. Let me reflect Your face.”
For me, the rag found a spot of perfectionism left behind from years ago and it was stubborn enough to paralyze some of my behavior last year. It was invisible until the process brought it to the surface. Then I had to deal with it through acknowledgement and apology. I called each person to ask for forgiveness because that’s what the shining process creates – change. Notice I didn’t say perfection because that would mean it would never get dirty again, so I thank God that He continues to polish me. His Word continues to show me who I am and who I was meant to be. His Love washes over me and I can walk clean.
If you’re in the middle of being shined, stay encouraged to see it through. Don’t quit before you feel the light on your face. And don’t feel ashamed of your process. Yours may not look like someone else’s.
You are brilliant underneath. You are brilliant within. Keep going. Keep opening yourself up to the Father. Keep being vulnerable enough to say “I’m sorry.” Keep being subject to change… for the better.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. Stay safe out there.
CJW
An audio version of this post is on my podcast. Will you share it with someone? I appreciate it!
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We made it to August, Family… and whew, did 2024 fly in here.
Seriously. I said the same thing last year thinking it would calm down next year, but that would be (as we say in the South) “too much like right.”
This year began with one word in my spirit – SHINE.
Last year’s words were ACTIVATE and LIFT, so I thought this year would be a maintenance situation of whatever was activated and lifted.
WRONG.
That word SHINE reverberated through my life starting the first week of January when I was planning rehearsals for my first solo-produced show. It kept going as I watched my work performed at a state dance festival and completed a 10-month group wellness series at the library. I’ve been reaping the harvest of seeds sown years ago. Forging new relationships and discovering more within me to give and value. The last 6 months have been a progressive and humbling ride. And I can say is it’s been an interesting journey and internally, I like it here.
When I reflect on that post from July 2023, this section jumps out –
I’m learning to let God create a new normal that consists of opportunities and miracles. That the seeds I’ve planted are subject to growing into a harvest. I am challenged to believe the floor will drop beneath my feet at any moment, but that instant need to recoil is becoming more of an anomaly. I open my hands to receive because I accept the joy of the giver’s intention.
This year, I’ve learned the only way to shine is to keep my hands open toward the Son. To receive His Blessing and lessons equally. To accept the truth that I am worthy of experiencing goodness and mercy all the days of my life. Distractions and hardships will come, but they can not stick. I reign in the Truth that God’s Love through Jesus set me free to be my best self. I don’t have to wonder about what is real. I stand in its shoes. I appreciate the good things.
Here’s 30 goals I met in 6 months!
Hosted and debuted another spoken word piece at Dance Levels‘ Journey to Africa Dance Production. Thank you, Maya Spivey, for another wonderful time!
My Christian creative collective Workmanship Incorporated celebrated 12 years of ministry and outreach!
Co-choreographed Gradient Dance Theater & Community‘s production of Tortoise and the Hare. What?! It was so magical. Thank you Taylor and Joanna for this experience and it was a pleasure to choreograph with you, Grace. Post-Cool Art Collective, you’re geniuses.
Hosted and debuted another spoken word piece at New Awakening Recovery Services‘ Recovery Monologues. Thank you Martina Dailey for this lovely experience!
Ate Maggiano’s. (I told you it is my favorite annual must-stop). 🙌🏾
Completed my first solo-produced show… and it sold out! 🙌🏾
Still got my therapy, hair, nails and pedicure appointments in.
Attended a French Conversation Club meeting.
Hosted self-care letter-writing events.
Attended Dance Across Birmingham and the Alabama Dance Festival. I stretched myself and took new classes with confidence and vulnerability.
Advocated for dance pay equity in churches
Served as an online service host for Zion Church (Hey, Zion Fam!)
Taught African Dance and Stepping classes with The Dance Foundation and Gradient Dance Theater & Community. So much fun… ooooo!
Served on the district and local executive council of my sorority
Completed two food-based fasts to strengthen my spirit
Had necessary conversations and released the ones I will never have
Supported my creative colleagues through performance attendance, donations, and prayers.
Increased my confidence in speaking about my brands to strangers. (I still get nervous.)
Created and kept sister time appointments with my inner circle
Read to middle-schoolers and provided encouragement
Taught a step workshop at the Powered by Girls Conference at UAB ArtPlay
And that’s just some of the goals I met that I had in mind last year. New things I wanted to do and things I wanted to do better. That’s how I am embracing my shine. Creating breathing room to expand in ways I never thought was within reach at this time of my life. Giving myself grace to evolve and learn new ways of doing things. Allowing myself to be here and whole.
And what did I do for the 4th of July? Same as last year – completed massage client sessions, ate lunch from a client who annually feeds me from her delectable kitchen menu, listened to UAB Summer Band and watched fireworks. This word SHINE grew in me like a little seedling, and little did not how much it would yield.
See you tomorrow.
Peace & Love y’all,
CJW
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I’m excited to connect with you in another season of the blog, and this season starts with something we all know — underwear.
I bought new underwear today. Now, don’t get it twisted. I don’t own holey, raggedy pairs. So, why did I buy new ones? Great question. Grab some tea and let me tell you.
I was in the store getting some quick necessary items. As I walked toward the checkout area, I passed by home decor and thought “One day, I’ll be able to buy what I want without caring for the price. I’ll buy it because I like it and it’s for me.” I’ve never been a retail-therapy girl, but I’ve always been a gut shopper. I have to love it or I won’t buy it. It has to make sense to me. Once I’m locked in on it, it’s a done deal.
So, I kept floating through this mini-prayer as my feet led me past the vases, pillows, and plush seating. The soft colors and textures lured me into their lair, so I stood in a trance for a minute. Slowly blinking and imagining. Virtually placing furniture pieces in my future forever home. I was daydreaming and I was enjoying it. I sighed and kept walking, but I wasn’t sad. Longing, but not sad.
Then, a seedling of annoyance grew into an epiphany.
I need new underwear. Like all new underwear.
I have a variety of styles, so I was specifically looking for casual comfort. Now, we’re family around here, so you’ll just keep reading without judgment, OK? OK, great.
I felt this overwhelming urge to buy underwear… to buy what I needed. To replace the old and walk in the new – literally. Suddenly, my feet had a mind of their own and I meandered through the store and into the underwear section. Then I sighed again.
This was ridiculous. Why was I overanalyzing the purchase of a necessary item? Is that not what I came into the store to buy? Well… no. I didn’t come to buy underwear, but yes, I came to buy what was necessary. And there I was looking at the display and second-guessing my next move.
Why? Because I have plenty of underwear at home, but I don’t wear them.
Don’t freak out. This is not my underwear. Photo by ud83dudc34chuanyu2015 on Pexels.com.
I don’t wear 98% of my underwear because they are uncomfortable. Too tight here, not enough tightness there, fabric feels weird on my skin, lace feels scratchy, and we won’t talk about wedgies. Just uncomfortable. I rotate the regular players and even I get sick of looking at them on the field every week. This coming from a former Victoria’s Secret associate who knows her way around undergarments of all kinds. What a waste I was making of that product knowledge.
So, why do I still have the unusable underwear? Because somewhere in this amazing brain of mine, I think one day they will fit perfectly and I just need to keep them until they do. I paid for them and I don’t want to waste my money. Whatever the truthy-lie was, it had stopped working. I was done with overlooking my underwear conundrum. There was no excuse why I should keep players on the bench knowing I’ll never play them.
Mmmm…, I thought, they may not be on sale today.
Turns out they were. Quality, cute underwear on sale. Comfortable, cute underwear on sale.
So, I bought 4 pair. And I smiled at my spiritual victory over the scarcity mindset once again. It likes to creep up on me at the oddest of times, like in a normal store run for deodorant and toothbrushes.
But today, it didn’t win. And the next time, it won’t either. I plan to keep winning until it becomes normal too.
How long will you be comfortable with discomfort… mediocre… unrest? Something you don’t have to deal with but you keep telling yourself a truthy-lie to keep you comfortable in it.
How long will you deprive yourself of what you need, what you rightfully should own… like joy, peace, and Love?
How many more times will you denounce the authority God has already given you?
That drawer at home is full of underwear that I don’t use and won’t use, yet it takes up space where something else can live. It’s wasted real estate and I had become comfortable with it for years. A few pair would be discarded here and there, but the truth was that I was holding on to something that was wasting space.
What are you holding on to that is wasting space in your heart? I believe God has so much more for us than we allow. That’s why my recent prayer has been “Expand my arms to hold what you have for me.” I can’t say I want better and have my fists outstretched toward heaven. God needs them open, wide open.
I plan to keep winning. I plan to keep opening my arms. I plan to keep praying for guidance out of old habits.
I pray you do the same.
Peace & Thanks for listening!
CJW
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Is it just me or has the first half of the year been a whirlwind at lightspeed?
Good things mixed with rough spots. Sunshine swirled with rain.
It’s amazing that I’m still strapped into this 2023 rollercoaster because I don’t like rollercoasters. The feeling that my stomach is tunneling toward my eyes does not give me excitement. I hold purses and drinks; my friends know that.
In the past, I rode a few and the anticipation was nice until it was real. When I heard the click of the “U”-shaped over-the-shoulder restraint or lap bar, I immediately wanted to get off. It was evident I had reached the point of no return.
Except at Lake Winnepesaukah Amusement Park in Rossville, Georgia. I rode almost every ride at least twice and went through the scary house so often I could tell others where the ghostly actors were planted. The repetition created familiarity which decreased my fear and amplified my anticipation. The faces were also familiar as my church took our youth department there numerous times.
Just like the trip to Lake Winnepesaukah, I’m learning to let God create a new normal that consists of opportunities and miracles. That the seeds I’ve planted are growing into a harvest. I am challenged to believe the floor will drop beneath my feet at any moment, but that instant need to recoil is becoming more of an anomaly. I open my hands to receive because I accept the joy of the Giver’s intention.
June was such a beautiful testimony of this new normal. Here’s 30 ways it was good to me and some moments captured along the way.
1. Concert: Sheila E. – she ate and left no crumbs, yet again. Her concerts are always nourishing.
2. Workmanship Incorporated celebrated 11 years of ministry and outreach. So grateful.
3. Gradient Dance Theater‘s production SPECTRA was amazing. Thank you, Taylor and Joanna, for respecting and commissioning my work. The best way to express my gratitude is to highlight my fellow choreographers and dancers. Remember their names and book them (see Program screenshots). So good to see my circle in the room and create new ones.
4. My next-steps meeting with Birmingham Public Libraries went well. Get ready for a dynamic self-care community program this fall.
5. Spoke to camp students at the Shades Valley YMCA. Thank you, Neena Speer, for the opportunity to share about Juneteenth and me.
7. Laughed and talked good things with my friend Patrick Packer from Datus Henry Industries . More good things coming.
8. Reflected on my Aunt Janice serving coffee at the A.G. Gaston Motel and the beautiful defiance of entrepreneurship.
9. Performed with Nathifa Dance Company & Outreach in the West End and Collegeville communities.
10. Trusted with fathers and husbands for Father’s Day. Grateful to facilitate their rest through massage therapy. Thank you to the ladies for including rest into their special day.
11. Taught an introductory step class for The Dance Foundation‘s Dance Exploration Summer Camp. Super fun.
12. Hung out with my dear SoRHOr, actress, songwriter, and educator Annie Joe Edwards and laughed… a lot
13. Hosted and debuted a spoken word piece at New Awakening Recovery Services‘ Recovery Monologues. Thank you Martina Dailey for trusting me with your program. Thank you friends for speaking my name when I wasn’t in the room.
14. Caught up with the incomparable smiling dancer Christina Davis. Great conversation.
15. Hugged my beautiful big sister Monéca Reid and my extended family at Word of Faith Love Center (GA) – Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary again, Team Garmon!
16. Loved on my new village kids, my Tau Beta Sigma sorors, and my WINC sisterfriend in Georgia
17. Ate Maggiano’s – my favorite must-stop once a year. 🙌🏾
18. Walked and talked with my sweet little chapter sister Holleyanna at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens
19. Paid off an old credit card that I used to need to keep up with medical debt in college. 🙌🏾
20. Got a call that a medical bill went to $0 due to a billing coding error. 🙌🏾
21. Chuckled with my pRHOphyte
22. Enjoyed real talk and chuckles with my creative sisterfriend Maya
23. Planned outreach with WINC (Save The Date: Sunday, September 24, 2023)
24. Laughed with my Frat brother Charles that I haven’t seen in about 16 years
25. Talked good things with my sweet friend and collaborator Jasper. More good things coming.
26. Great catch-up convo with my Sigma Gamma Rho Line Sister
27. Enjoyed a hug, laughs and my favorite lip care and more goodies from Mia
28. Served new + recurring clients and confirmed new contracts
29. Still got my massage, nails, and pedicure appointments in.
30. Received more divine download about next steps for my businesses (yes, including new books).
And that’s just June, or what I call Halftime. The Grace and Blessings came in different cloaks. Some were monetary and some were emotional deposits. Some were on my calendar and some were impromptu.
Let’s get ready for the harvest that belongs to us. I’m all in. I encourage you to look for goodness this month and pick them like wildflowers for the journey ahead. Look for the small and the grand. Appreciate all the ways harvest grows. Normalize it. That’s what I’m doing.
And what did I do for 4th of July? I had massage clients, a writing coach client, enjoyed lunch from a client’s delectable kitchen menu, then I journaled about a memory. What a great way to kick off the second half.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.
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The sunshine and wind were working incredibly hard to make me jealous today, but I’m finally off work and able to enjoy some natural goodness. It feels good to look up at the clouds on a soft blue canvas as I write the final installment of this blog series. It’s a short stop (500 words or less), so let’s get into it!
UTR Lesson #4 – I’m always worth the pause.
Before the car wheels rolled to Indianapolis, I had a master plan.
No matter what happened that weekend, I was going to enjoy the hotel’s laundry access and indoor pool.
I packed my swimsuit with anticipation of relaxing after the final show – period. That previous week, I drove to Knoxville and walked a good bit, so my body was screaming for a breather. I also wanted to stretch and exercise in the water to make my joints and muscles happy.
Monday morning came and I had already asked for a late checkout, so a smile swept across my face. The relaxation moment was ripe and I intended to enjoy some quiet bliss before the trek back to Alabama.
I stirred about in preparation and received a phone call from a close friend. We had a rich conversation as I placed my dirty clothes into the machine. Checkout was at 1:00 and it felt so good not to hurry. I was eating it up.
That warm pool was waiting on me.
The Plan: Enjoy the solitude while the laundry did its thing.
No laundry when I get home? Yes, puh-lease.
Just as my aunt and sisterfriend were leaving the pool, I arrived ready to marinate in the quiet. I don’t know how to swim (yet), so I bobbed a little to acclimate. I admired my hands and thighs. The richness of my brown skin against that cream basin was beautiful. I dipped further and let the water hold me up to my ears, inhaling and exhaling when it touched my hair. I felt sweet and safe. I prayed. My people meter went down to a normal level again.
That’s the thing about self-care – it keeps you healthy. That alone makes it non-negotiable.
I know my boundaries and what it takes to maintain them. That day, it was pausing for pool time and admiring God’s fingerprints on me. Being grateful for how far we had come together. Acknowledging there was more work to do and I was equipped to do it when I returned. It was being gentle with myself a couple of hours before checkout.
It was remembering that I can insert self-care on the road. I’m always worth the pause.
Please remember to do the same. Regardless of your schedule, put yourself on it. You may be surprised who you’ll find in the pause.
Speaking of pauses, that’s it for this month! Time to switch to podcast mode, so listen to Season 4 in May!
I love y’all. Take care of you.
Peace & Thanks for listening!
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Last night was story time about when to lift. Tonight is a double lesson but no story time. Let’s go!
UTR Lesson #3 – Excellence speaks silent volumes.
Each person below had a specific job and they were exceptional in it. Their excellence was so pronounced that they were asked to do it for years.
Some of them, like Dr. Yancey (bottom right) had academic preparation to adequately describe the miracle of Lazarus’s death. I’ve never been so excited to hear about death in my life. Trust me, Family, you will almost throw your shoe during his soliloquy. Get the recording. You’ll also see him sing opera, but don’t tell him I told you. 🙂
Pastor Mark V. Brown, Sr. and his shofar (top left). Powerful. Each performance, he would sit patiently and wait until his appointed time. No fanfare. Gentle smile. Focused and calm. I admired his position and stewardship of such a revered symbol.
Mr. Hubert (top right) built the props and orchestrated his team like a conductor leads a symphony. He knew every piece of every part and could move something in record time. When I asked him if he went to school for it, he said no… God showed him what to do. *mind blown*
Ms. Ruthie was my sweet firecracker (bottom left). Everything was on stage because of her amazing stage management. Impeccable, small, and mighty. With her white gloves and super stare, this production ran like a ship seasoned for the seas.
The voice of Antonio Bowman is one to be marveled. I can’t tell you how many times I cried and jumped when he sang during the Triumphal Entry. Every year, that’s the voice you’re waiting for and every year, he sings like it’s his last (his words, not mine). I also can’t tell you how many times we laughed backstage. Jokes are good for the soul and we had plenty.
Excellence is consistent and UTR resurrected that truth in me. I’ve been working in the arts since I was child. From then to even now, people assumed I didn’t need help because it didn’t look like it. A sliver of burnout was peeking over the horizon and I prayed it wouldn’t rise. I prayed that God would resuscitate me for the rest of the journey because I love my lanes. Whether behind the scenes, hosting a principal part, or delivering several parts, excellence was everywhere that weekend and it was life-giving. Then, God gave me Lesson #4.
UTR Lesson #4 – A dream takes a village.
The beauty about a dream is that isn’t yours.
The birth plan of a vision can expand well over 9 months, but the best part is that you’re not alone. You’re actually part of a symphony. You just haven’t met the rest of the musicians yet.
When I observed these moments in time, I couldn’t help but notice a proverbial hum of workmanship in every area. The make-up team was preparing the dancers for their next scene. The sound technicians checked levels. The gloved hands of the crew waiting for their cue to raise the curtain or the actor in his harness. Ashlee and I formed a tag team to take down a disciple’s braided hair (representation is important in Biblical performances, by the way).
When excellence is at work, God will bring the village. He will send the help. I believe that now more than ever.
Being a creative can be daunting, but being a creative in Kingdom arts can compound the fatigue. The idea is that you don’t need anything or anyone because you’re doing it for God and God has everything, so hey… you’ll be alright. Just keep going. Who cares if you have one leg left, an eyeball barely in socket, and a sore throat? Who cares if you can’t pay your bills because you’ve donated all of your labor? God is good! Keep going! Well, that’s a narrative I vow to change – in a different avenue, so let’s get back to this road.
The miracle of UTR is that two people multiplied into many hands which created lighter work, yet the excellence was not watered down. That’s amazing to me. No longer do you have to toil in a silo (talking to myself).
What a village, we were. My mother and aunt served food to hundreds of cast and crew. My two sisters/Workmanship Incorporated teammates were part of the make-up squad. Two young ladies that grew up in the production were now applying make-up and lashes on two veteran department directors. I helped one year and brought others. Others helped and brought more others.
Simply put, the vision seems too big because I am not designed to carry it alone.
God will send me my village to help me carry out his instructions. I no longer feel heavy with doubt that I won’t be able to carry the vision to term. I see what’s possible if I just do my part in excellence.
The same goes for you, Family. If you’re standing next to an incredible task, know that you’re not alone. Someone else is standing next to one and possibly the same one. Looking up at it and getting dizzy.
We have help coming. Encouragement, financials, employees, volunteers, venues… it’s coming. And if you look around – just pause and look – you might find that your help is already here.
I’m praying for you. We got this. Keep dreaming.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.
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Last night, I described how God resurrected my hope in His promises and that He would grow every seed I plant in Him.
Let’s dive into the next lesson with a little bit of story time.
UTR Lesson #2 – Know when to lift.
So, I was backstage doing my one job at the moment – wash the theatrical blood off of Jesus in 60 seconds.
Beforehand, my teammates and I had figuratively dissected the actor into quadrants with specific duties assigned to each area. Mine was RIGHT LEG WASH and RIGHT ARM/SHOULDER RINSE/DRY. I was ready. This particular brand of theatrical blood was syrupy, so as it cooled, it resembles the real thing. Two buckets of hotter-than-warm soapy water and one bucket of warm water were on deck. We were ready.
The actor rushed into the wings after his scene and we got to work.
RIGHT LEG WASH RIGHT ARM/SHOULDER RINSE/DRY
I started with his shins and finished with his feet.
Leg done. Start shoulder.
Broad strokes with warm water.
Pat dry. Done.
Then my department head asked me to transfer to his left arm to ensure all the stage blood was removed. There was a larger shadow on that side of his body, so I took a broad brush approach with firm pressure below the elbow. Just then, I saw a tinge of red on his forearm and I was determined to make it disappear. My department head and teammates were feverishly fueled by perfection. We weren’t in the business of making mistakes with so little time to spare.
My left hand gripped his wrist and I went to work. My right hand moved in hyper-speed to attack that red tinge. After confirming its annihilation, I reached down to grab a towel to dry the area and then it happened.
Now, I was taught that once an actor no longer feels your “working touch,” they may assume you’re finished with the quick change and move prematurely. So, my left hand was still in place.
*snatch*
“It’s good,” he said before whisking away to set.
I was surprisingly offended and it was less than a second. My mind knew not to be sensitive because things move so fast in theater that you can’t stay in your feelings about anything. People truly have things to do and places to be – and you have to roll with wherever they land. This includes a flick of the arm from an actor playing Jesus.
I looked at the floor in confusion and hoped that his white garment was safe. I told myself not to be offended, but it was too late. I couldn’t let it go.
“I was just doing my job… he didn’t even see it on his arm…” I kept regurgitating silently. If I didn’t get all of that blood off and it transferred to his spotless white garments, I was going to hear about it, I said in my mind before going to bed.
Certainly, he didn’t mean anything by it. Certainly, I wasn’t out of pocket, was I? I definitely didn’t want to be a hindrance to his excellence. Certainly, I was just swimming in some bathwater the devil made for my feelings.
I had made up my mind. I was going to talk to Jesus tomorrow.
Gearing up for the Ascension
When I woke up the next morning, I heard the following in my spirit – “He knew when to lift. That’s what I need you to do. You have to know when to shift to the next level. Know when to move with Me.”
I instantly understood what He meant.
“OK, I get it… and I’m going to tell Jesus so this other junk won’t swim around my spirit and leave a terrible tub ring around my last UTR experience. I have to tell him that I appreciate the lesson he didn’t know he gave me.”
So, that’s what I did, well… almost.
Quick change check in
“OK, Lord…” I said in my best Gideon-in-Judges-Chapter 6 voice, “…if you want me to bring this up, bring him to me. Make me run into him or something. I don’t want to search for him and interrupt his preparation in case he has to switch roles tonight. I don’t want to make it weird or annoying.” In less than 2 minutes, he passed me in the hallway in plain clothes.
OK, he must be going somewhere, so I’ll leave him be. This is small. I’ll wait, I thought.
Another passby in plain clothes.
Then another.
Then he comes into the dressing room for us to adjust his costume. He was having some fun in supporting roles since he wasn’t playing Jesus that evening.
After 8 times of either passing by him, standing near him unaware, or interacting with him in costume, I was over it.
“OK, OK! I’ll do it now!” It was the most I had randomly seen him all weekend. “This is ridiculous!” I harshly whispered to myself in the hallway.
I returned backstage (where I had passed by him the 8th time) and spilled the story of my pseudo-offended moment the night before and my divine epiphany the morning after.
He hollered with laughter because he didn’t realize he was being a spiritual instructor. He expressed his appreciation to us for working on him in record time. He said he never wants to come across as an ungrateful actor and that he admires the work of production crews. We talked about some creative experiences and I told him that I appreciated his professionalism and that I am grateful to assist creatives because I am one. We agreed that we are carriers of God’s gifts and the curators of the greatest story ever told. So, it’s an honor to do what we do.
Carlin (left) and Daniel (right) alternated the role of Jesus. Both rocked it. If you are O+, consider being a living kidney donor to Carlin.
“I don’t like to give the devil any room to grow,” I said, “and all he needs is a crack. I didn’t want this to fester in my head to something it wasn’t. So, thanks for hearing me out.”
“No problem!” he affirmed. We had a couple of laughs and ended the conversation with an introduction and handshake because we had never formally met.
“My name is Christina. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Daniel. It’s nice to meet you too.”
We parted ways and I felt like a victor.
I had attacked the enemy in two places and won both of them.
First, the lies. There was nothing for evil to tap dance on later. I cut it off at the pass with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I left that production free and clear. No residue.
Second, the lesson. I received confirmation of two words God gave me on December 31, 2022 – activate and lift.
I admit that sometimes I get stuck in analysis paralysis when God stretches me. I can churn that God-given idea so much that it no longer looks like butter. The details appear overwhelming and there I am, stuck in a stormy see of me. So, I do nothing. Then, I beat myself up for doing nothing… which then causes me to overanalyze on why I didn’t do something.
The truth is we don’t always activate what God tells us to do in real time. We don’t always move on our yes. We say we’ll do whatever the Lord says, but when He’s ready, we say wait – just like I was with the red tinge. Daniel knew when to move and he was willing to take the risk to ensure he was in place at the right time.
Maybe you’re afraid of getting it wrong or afraid of success. Maybe you’re stuck in the minutiae or feeling inept. Whatever it is, acknowledge it and take the step. Have the conversation. Write the vision (Habakkuk 2:2-4). The lift comes when you work in tandem with God’s timing. You have to stay in tune with the rhythm of your purpose.
I thank God for resurrecting my urgency to move with Him. What a tragedy it would be to stay stuck on a level after He’s ready to lift? I don’t want to be the hold up. Do you?
I didn’t think so.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. See you tomorrow. 🙂
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How’s your April been so far? Mine has been eventful to say the least, but let’s narrow it down to one theme – resurrection.
I know Easter is over, but the impact of its presence is yet here. One of these experiences was volunteering with the exceptional Upon This Rock Productions (referenced as UTR) based in Indianapolis, IN. So many lessons floated to the surface of my spirit while I was there this month.
I won’t attempt to put every lesson into one post. This space is too small to attempt such a feat. Instead, I plan to share a few parts over the next few days. I hope it helps.
UTR Lesson #1 – Let God grow you.
The beauty of God’s creation is that it is designed to regenerate itself. To perpetuate the “Let there be…”
So, when I stood on stage during the final curtain call, I felt like a humbled witness — a butterfly on the wall of time. Music paused to give way to the silence of grateful souls basking in the moment. It was beautiful to marinate in the fruit of obedience. A written idea turned into a shared mission which turned into 40-year production with thousands of cast and crew. The yes opened the door to a thousand ships that carried others toward their purpose.
Spoken Word.
Musicianship.
Prop Construction.
Pyrotechnics.
Internships.
Marriages.
Births.
Costume Design.
Special Effects
Hair & Make-Up
Singing.
Songwriting.
Dancing.
Choreographing.
Stage Management.
Videography.
Sign Language.
Light and Sound Technology.
And more.
Purpose. Rich, bountiful purpose that flowed from a pen into the hearts of generations. I’m so blessed to be part of something so true and tangible. Something that would feed my spirit for the rest of my life. I know the road was filled with juniper and jagged edges, but the final curtain call was worth the wait – worth the investment of tears and treasure. So, when I saw these moments, I scrambled for my phone to capture a raindrop of the majesty I felt.
Who knows what amazing things await them on the other side of this final bow. What bond they will forge or what creation will bear their names one day. The whole weekend, all I saw were seeds. I felt like I was walking through a spiritual meadow of lush green grass and a kaleidoscope of flowers. My smile kept escaping from my heart and across my lips. My gaze filled with wonder. Occasionally, a “wow” would exhale into the air.
As the directors shared their thank you’s, I stood there in awe of the power of a seed. The power of one yes. The power God gave us to regenerate ourselves through His gifts, especially His gift of Love. When God said “Let there be…,” we were intentionally included. How amazing is that?
Everything around me was proof that life lives in every seed… and that one life has seeds that can usher generations.
It’s worth the yes. When we agree with God’s timing, we fall in tandem with the maturation of those seedlings. We become eternal partners with Him.
I’m grateful for UTR and the yes that started it all. My feet stand on the proof that God keeps His promises and will walk with you on the journey to dreams beyond your imagination.
Consider purchasing a digital copy of the shows (each is dramatically different). UTR is good ground. This production just fulfilled its season, but there are more seeds coming.
Here’s to our dead places being renewed according to the Father’s timing. Here’s to our dreams being resuscitated and our next steps flourishing. Here’s to our hearts breathing in new possibilities of love and life.
May God water our yes so it may bloom forever.
I believe in us and the power of our seeds.
Thank you to my beautiful big sister Monéca S. Reid for connecting me to this tree so I can grow too.
Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all! See you tomorrow! 🙂
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I hope you’ve had a good week so far. If not, it just got better.
I knew what I wanted to write about tonight, then God leveled it up by connecting some dots I didn’t know existed – Ash Wednesday + Soulful Sunday.
Let me start with Sunday.
I did something I would have normally repelled me – I participated in a singing competition. To understand the gravitas of this statement, you would have to know me personally and only so much of that can be translated on this screen. In essence, I was shamed for singing when I was a child and it scarred me from singing in public. The anxiety grew visible through my shaky, sweaty hands to my unruly vibrato. Fast forward some years and I registered for vocal lessons as a means of healing this wound. Our first session she lifted me with encouragement and affirmation. “You can sang, Baby. You have a gift.” I didn’t believe her, but I really wanted to.
My instructor, mentor, and pillar – International Vocalist, Actress, and Educator Ms. Tena Wilson
Every week, I went to class swaddled in insecurity and she unraveled them note-by-note. I embraced the opportunity for freedom to heal that space, then the pandemic occurred. Virtual vocal and music theory classes became part of my self-care regimen. I cried. I sang. I laughed. I learned.
Fast forward to this past Sunday when I stood in front of people physically and virtually and sang God Bless The Child by Billie Holiday. I’m tearing up as I’m typing this right now because it took healing to get here and those words embody that for me. The winner and I were separated by three-tenths of a point, but I left that stage on top of the world. I was proud of me and I could stand in the Sonshine unapologetically. I was grateful for the opportunity and support. Grateful for the warmth of confidence that only God can give. I made new connections and hugged those that have lasted for years. It was a beautiful moment of growth and I beamed all the way back to work. I had a mobile massage client. *lol*
So, let’s where today comes in.
The ashes.
A traditional phrase for ceremonies surrounding Ash Wednesday is “Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return.” When we reflect upon our mortality and surrender our humanity to our supernatural purpose, beauty happens. Springtime can happen. As the article mentions (click the link), the Christian period of “Lent comes from the Middle English word lente, which means springtime.” How befitting that we render down our lives in order for life to grow. Introspection, fasting, meditation, and prayer are forms of sacrifice for the springtime. Soulful Sunday is just one example of how God can exchange beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3) but we have to give him the crumbles first. Surrender is required. My tears of inadequacy watered the seeds of creativity in my heart. My vocal instructor’s divine mix of gentleness and discipline was the sunshine on my frosty soil.
The dust is where we’re from and it’s also where we grow.
As we prepare for 40 days of spiritual reflection, strength, and sacrifice, I encourage you to bring your ashes to the altar. God can do more with them than you can. When we leave this earth, let it be said that we lived. On purpose and fully engaged. Let it be said that we did not waste our tears and our seeds sprouted into their intended design. That we respected the process and walked the journey to completion. That we remembered we were beautiful in His sight.
Respect the ashes, Family. We all got some and they are all necessary.
Peace & Blessings to your week and I love y’all.
CJW
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Listening at the Speed of Life 