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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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performing arts

Resurrect Me – Part 3 (almost done)

Hi, Family!

Last night was story time about when to lift. Tonight is a double lesson but no story time. Let’s go!

UTR Lesson #3 – Excellence speaks silent volumes.

Each person below had a specific job and they were exceptional in it. Their excellence was so pronounced that they were asked to do it for years.

Some of them, like Dr. Yancey (bottom right) had academic preparation to adequately describe the miracle of Lazarus’s death. I’ve never been so excited to hear about death in my life. Trust me, Family, you will almost throw your shoe during his soliloquy. Get the recording. You’ll also see him sing opera, but don’t tell him I told you. 🙂

Pastor Mark V. Brown, Sr. and his shofar (top left). Powerful. Each performance, he would sit patiently and wait until his appointed time. No fanfare. Gentle smile. Focused and calm. I admired his position and stewardship of such a revered symbol.

Mr. Hubert (top right) built the props and orchestrated his team like a conductor leads a symphony. He knew every piece of every part and could move something in record time. When I asked him if he went to school for it, he said no… God showed him what to do. *mind blown*

Ms. Ruthie was my sweet firecracker (bottom left). Everything was on stage because of her amazing stage management. Impeccable, small, and mighty. With her white gloves and super stare, this production ran like a ship seasoned for the seas.

The voice of Antonio Bowman is one to be marveled. I can’t tell you how many times I cried and jumped when he sang during the Triumphal Entry. Every year, that’s the voice you’re waiting for and every year, he sings like it’s his last (his words, not mine). I also can’t tell you how many times we laughed backstage. Jokes are good for the soul and we had plenty.

Excellence is consistent and UTR resurrected that truth in me. I’ve been working in the arts since I was child. From then to even now, people assumed I didn’t need help because it didn’t look like it. A sliver of burnout was peeking over the horizon and I prayed it wouldn’t rise. I prayed that God would resuscitate me for the rest of the journey because I love my lanes. Whether behind the scenes, hosting a principal part, or delivering several parts, excellence was everywhere that weekend and it was life-giving. Then, God gave me Lesson #4.

UTR Lesson #4 – A dream takes a village.

The beauty about a dream is that isn’t yours.

The birth plan of a vision can expand well over 9 months, but the best part is that you’re not alone. You’re actually part of a symphony. You just haven’t met the rest of the musicians yet.

When I observed these moments in time, I couldn’t help but notice a proverbial hum of workmanship in every area. The make-up team was preparing the dancers for their next scene. The sound technicians checked levels. The gloved hands of the crew waiting for their cue to raise the curtain or the actor in his harness. Ashlee and I formed a tag team to take down a disciple’s braided hair (representation is important in Biblical performances, by the way).

When excellence is at work, God will bring the village. He will send the help. I believe that now more than ever.

Being a creative can be daunting, but being a creative in Kingdom arts can compound the fatigue. The idea is that you don’t need anything or anyone because you’re doing it for God and God has everything, so hey… you’ll be alright. Just keep going. Who cares if you have one leg left, an eyeball barely in socket, and a sore throat? Who cares if you can’t pay your bills because you’ve donated all of your labor? God is good! Keep going! Well, that’s a narrative I vow to change – in a different avenue, so let’s get back to this road.


The miracle of UTR is that two people multiplied into many hands which created lighter work, yet the excellence was not watered down. That’s amazing to me. No longer do you have to toil in a silo (talking to myself).

What a village, we were. My mother and aunt served food to hundreds of cast and crew. My two sisters/Workmanship Incorporated teammates were part of the make-up squad. Two young ladies that grew up in the production were now applying make-up and lashes on two veteran department directors. I helped one year and brought others. Others helped and brought more others.

The village.

There goes that Lesson #1 again.

Simply put, the vision seems too big because I am not designed to carry it alone.

God will send me my village to help me carry out his instructions. I no longer feel heavy with doubt that I won’t be able to carry the vision to term. I see what’s possible if I just do my part in excellence.

The same goes for you, Family. If you’re standing next to an incredible task, know that you’re not alone. Someone else is standing next to one and possibly the same one. Looking up at it and getting dizzy.

We have help coming. Encouragement, financials, employees, volunteers, venues… it’s coming. And if you look around – just pause and look – you might find that your help is already here.

I’m praying for you. We got this. Keep dreaming.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.

Resurrect Me – Part 2

Hi, Family!

Last night, I described how God resurrected my hope in His promises and that He would grow every seed I plant in Him.

Let’s dive into the next lesson with a little bit of story time.

UTR Lesson #2 – Know when to lift.

So, I was backstage doing my one job at the moment – wash the theatrical blood off of Jesus in 60 seconds.

Beforehand, my teammates and I had figuratively dissected the actor into quadrants with specific duties assigned to each area. Mine was RIGHT LEG WASH and RIGHT ARM/SHOULDER RINSE/DRY. I was ready. This particular brand of theatrical blood was syrupy, so as it cooled, it resembles the real thing. Two buckets of hotter-than-warm soapy water and one bucket of warm water were on deck. We were ready.

The actor rushed into the wings after his scene and we got to work.

RIGHT LEG WASH
RIGHT ARM/SHOULDER RINSE/DRY

I started with his shins and finished with his feet. 

Leg done. Start shoulder.

Broad strokes with warm water. 

Pat dry. Done.

Then my department head asked me to transfer to his left arm to ensure all the stage blood was removed. There was a larger shadow on that side of his body, so I took a broad brush approach with firm pressure below the elbow. Just then, I saw a tinge of red on his forearm and I was determined to make it disappear. My department head and teammates were feverishly fueled by perfection. We weren’t in the business of making mistakes with so little time to spare.

My left hand gripped his wrist and I went to work. My right hand moved in hyper-speed to attack that red tinge. After confirming its annihilation, I reached down to grab a towel to dry the area and then it happened.

Now, I was taught that once an actor no longer feels your “working touch,” they may assume you’re finished with the quick change and move prematurely. So, my left hand was still in place. 

*snatch*

“It’s good,” he said before whisking away to set.

I was surprisingly offended and it was less than a second. My mind knew not to be sensitive because things move so fast in theater that you can’t stay in your feelings about anything. People truly have things to do and places to be – and you have to roll with wherever they land. This includes a flick of the arm from an actor playing Jesus. 

I looked at the floor in confusion and hoped that his white garment was safe. I told myself not to be offended, but it was too late. I couldn’t let it go. 

“I was just doing my job… he didn’t even see it on his arm…” I kept regurgitating silently. If I didn’t get all of that blood off and it transferred to his spotless white garments, I was going to hear about it, I said in my mind before going to bed.

Certainly, he didn’t mean anything by it.
Certainly, I wasn’t out of pocket, was I? I definitely didn’t want to be a hindrance to his excellence.
Certainly, I was just swimming in some bathwater the devil made for my feelings.

I had made up my mind. I was going to talk to Jesus tomorrow.

Gearing up for the Ascension

When I woke up the next morning, I heard the following in my spirit – “He knew when to lift. That’s what I need you to do. You have to know when to shift to the next level. Know when to move with Me.”

I instantly understood what He meant.

“OK, I get it… and I’m going to tell Jesus so this other junk won’t swim around my spirit and leave a terrible tub ring around my last UTR experience. I have to tell him that I appreciate the lesson he didn’t know he gave me.”

So, that’s what I did, well… almost.

Quick change check in

“OK, Lord…” I said in my best Gideon-in-Judges-Chapter 6 voice, “…if you want me to bring this up, bring him to me. Make me run into him or something. I don’t want to search for him and interrupt his preparation in case he has to switch roles tonight. I don’t want to make it weird or annoying.” In less than 2 minutes, he passed me in the hallway in plain clothes.

OK, he must be going somewhere, so I’ll leave him be. This is small. I’ll wait, I thought. 

Another passby in plain clothes.

Then another.

Then he comes into the dressing room for us to adjust his costume. He was having some fun in supporting roles since he wasn’t playing Jesus that evening.

After 8 times of either passing by him, standing near him unaware, or interacting with him in costume, I was over it. 

“OK, OK! I’ll do it now!” It was the most I had randomly seen him all weekend. “This is ridiculous!” I harshly whispered to myself in the hallway.

I returned backstage (where I had passed by him the 8th time) and spilled the story of my pseudo-offended moment the night before and my divine epiphany the morning after. 

He hollered with laughter because he didn’t realize he was being a spiritual instructor. He expressed his appreciation to us for working on him in record time. He said he never wants to come across as an ungrateful actor and that he admires the work of production crews. We talked about some creative experiences and I told him that I appreciated his professionalism and that I am grateful to assist creatives because I am one. We agreed that we are carriers of God’s gifts and the curators of the greatest story ever told. So, it’s an honor to do what we do. 

Carlin (left) and Daniel (right) alternated the role of Jesus. Both rocked it. If you are O+, consider being a living kidney donor to Carlin.

“I don’t like to give the devil any room to grow,” I said, “and all he needs is a crack. I didn’t want this to fester in my head to something it wasn’t. So, thanks for hearing me out.”

“No problem!” he affirmed. We had a couple of laughs and ended the conversation with an introduction and handshake because we had never formally met.

“My name is Christina. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Daniel. It’s nice to meet you too.”

We parted ways and I felt like a victor.

I had attacked the enemy in two places and won both of them.

First, the lies. There was nothing for evil to tap dance on later. I cut it off at the pass with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I left that production free and clear. No residue.

Second, the lesson. I received confirmation of two words God gave me on December 31, 2022 – activate and lift.

I admit that sometimes I get stuck in analysis paralysis when God stretches me. I can churn that God-given idea so much that it no longer looks like butter. The details appear overwhelming and there I am, stuck in a stormy see of me. So, I do nothing. Then, I beat myself up for doing nothing… which then causes me to overanalyze on why I didn’t do something.

The truth is we don’t always activate what God tells us to do in real time. We don’t always move on our yes. We say we’ll do whatever the Lord says, but when He’s ready, we say wait – just like I was with the red tinge. Daniel knew when to move and he was willing to take the risk to ensure he was in place at the right time.

Maybe you’re afraid of getting it wrong or afraid of success. Maybe you’re stuck in the minutiae or feeling inept. Whatever it is, acknowledge it and take the step. Have the conversation. Write the vision (Habakkuk 2:2-4). The lift comes when you work in tandem with God’s timing. You have to stay in tune with the rhythm of your purpose.

I thank God for resurrecting my urgency to move with Him. What a tragedy it would be to stay stuck on a level after He’s ready to lift? I don’t want to be the hold up. Do you?

I didn’t think so.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all. See you tomorrow. 🙂

#bloglikecrazy: Open Letter #30

To My Fellow Creatives:


I sincerely applaud us! Like immigrants, we get the job done! (see what I did there?)

We robe ourselves with the stories of others and output exceptional interpretations. It takes a brilliant mind to do such acrobatics. It takes a certain level of emotional skill to tap into the dark recesses of the world to tell an authentic story and come out of the cave without permanent scarring. I marvel at our community’s ability to do this often and sometimes across multiple projects. We are AH-MAY-ZING!

If I had to remind us of something, it would be to remember that we are valuable beyond what we do. Yes, our skills pay the bills, but we are more than what comes out of us. We are more than our masks. We are more than the stage.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

The truth is if we die tomorrow, the show of society would commemorate us for a bit and continue with another cast of characters. So, take care of yourselves, Loves. Our minds, bodies, and souls are more than worth it. I know we lie ourselves down for the sake of the craft, but for a lifetime of creative expulsion, I don’t like seeing us falling victim to the vice of overexertion. Some of us therapeutically deal with our issues through the arts and some of us die physically and spiritually because of them. The cycle in our community has to stop. WE MATTER.

Photo by Edgar Colomba on Pexels.com

When we sing, notes fly out of our souls like beautifully-winged freedom. When we dance, movement creates waves that disrupt unseen demons. When we act, emotion pours out of us and onto a canvas called life so others can see themselves. Yet… when I see another one of us die by suicide, drugs, crime, and various manners caused by reckless living, I am saddened because it was so preventable and the world is dimmer. Such a beautiful Icarus. Another creative we must love from afar because they got too close to the sun.

Please take care of you and look out for one another. It can be a lonely career although it is dependent upon so many people. Once you give yourself so well and you return to your hotel room or the job is over and you’re back home until the next call, the pause can be rejuvenating or deafening. Let’s be sure that we’re OK. Let’s be sure we don’t get lost in the sauce. Let’s remember that we are people first and we are loved.

Keep rocking EVERYTHING, Co-Stars!

CJW

Wednesday Wind Down: Full Circle

Good Evening, Sweethearts!

So, a beautiful thing happened this month and there were 3 messages that were so clear to me. I chewed on them a bit before sharing them with you and now I’m ready. But first, the context.

On Saturday, February 16th, the Birmingham Committee for Truth and Reconciliation hosted A Conversation with Dr. Angela Davis at the historic Boutwell Auditorium in Birmingham, Alabama. I had the honor of performing Glory (from the Selma movie soundtrack) with my childhood friend G.I. Magus in front of Dr. Davis and a potpourri of historical and political pillars. I was appreciative just be a piece of the puzzle and I couldn’t have written a better chapter in my life story. Besides the obvious prestige, let me tell you why this was a jewel of a moment.

In elementary school, I saw a photo of Dr. Davis and was entranced. She was a beautiful mix of political prowess, academic excellence, and natural beauty. I loved the way she wore her freedom like a long technicolor cape. Her hair, her voice, and her facial expressions screamed confidence. It was official – she was a shero. The more I read about her, the more fire I felt and I was proud to know that she was a native daughter. I was convinced that I would have an afro just like her when I found the courage to do so. For over 10 years, I did and still do.

Seeing her this month was the culmination of multiple dots connecting to create a beautiful experience, which leads me to the first message – your past can touch your future at any moment, so spend your present well. You never know how hello’s can turn into a double helix of lifetime connections. The people I met in 7th grade, high school, and college would become creative geniuses, community organizers, academic powerhouses, and prolific speakers. Any way you slice it, the fingerprints of my past were all over my future and I was in awe of the masterpiece.

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It’s a blessing to genuinely develop relationships over time, which leads to the 2nd message I heard that week –  your character will follow you wherever you go. This past weekend was a reminder that how you treat people goes far beyond the present moment. I’m not perfect, but I am so grateful that my rapport was strong enough to last a decade or two and some awesome individuals thought positive of my footsteps. That is a gift I will never take lightly… as long as I live. I hate it when people size me up based upon what I can do for them. That’s why I love learning about the spirit behind the job title and socioeconomic status.  In the end, we all appreciate being seen as a person. We appreciate a chance to disrobe our character and let it walk freely ahead of us.

The third message was just as loud – your help is waiting on you. I couldn’t have performed with confidence without the support of my tribe. The prayers from my mother, the love from my small group, the perfect track from my friends, the training from my mentors… there were familiar faces in every facet of this opportunity, each of them believing in God’s gift in me. I am forever grateful. Forever appreciative that when I asked for help, many hands opened wide. Pride keeps a lot of people in the jail cell of their souls’ contempt. I was once a prisoner of that warden and never will be again. This experience was a reiteration that some are still held captive.

Sweethearts, you are exceptional. Stop trying to be perfect. See everyone around you as an individual, not as a marketing tool. Try to be a better version of yourself than the day before. Whether you know it or not, everything will come full circle if you let it. I am so glad I did.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

#bloglikecrazy: Day 24 – UTR

The Good

#24 – I volunteered for Upon This Rock Passion Play!

This. Was. Amazing. I’ve worked on productions before, but this was an experience. The people worked together like a well-oiled machine, but with strong family ties that oiled each gear. As it approaches its 35th year in 2019, Upon This Rock: The Passion Play is an Indianapolis, Indiana production that includes over 300 cast and volunteer members that makes the Bible come to life in a unique way. Spoken word, live animals, authentic songwriting, the live choir, and band – individuals come from all over the country to be part of UTR and with the great help of my sister, I was able to finally make the trek to experience it for myself.

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My big sister Moe as Martha

The Lesson

When God gives you something, you have an obligation to inhale it and run with it. There’s no time to waste because there are lives that are waiting to be changed by the glory that God gave you. It’s going to take some work, OK… who am I kidding, it’s going to take a lot of work, so it’s not for the faint of heart. You have the ability to complete it and do it well. The biggest obstacle in front of you is YOU. I can’t imagine not experiencing the wealth of creativity, skill, professionalism, and camaraderie that day. So, I am so grateful to Playwright & Executive Director Sharon Thompson-Hill and Co- & Managing Director Pastor A. Thomas Hill for not only hearing the Voice of God, but inhaling the Promise and Direction, and running with the Vision.

Peace & Thanks for listening.

By the way: Show dates are April 19-20, 2019 and tickets go on sale January 1, 2019. Go ahead and put it on your calendar. You won’t regret it.

#bloglikecrazy: Day 6 – Meeting of the Minds

The Good

#6 – I played two roles – leader and follower!

In my performing arts troupe, I play both sides of the field. It’s a delicate balance, really… one that took time and heaping spoonfuls of humble pie over the years. My Troupe has committees, each serving as a gear to make the machine called “us” run smoothly. There is plenty to do and while I am proud to lead such a fabulous group of professionals, I am even more proud when they don’t need me to turn a dream into reality. Last year, I vowed to be a better follower and when the situation called for it this year, I truly enjoyed wearing that hat.

I am on two committees and I loved meeting with my committee teammates, brainstorming and executing our plans, and presenting ideas to the Troupe like other team members. It was fun and it gave me a grassroots view upon which to compare my aerial one. My ideas were not always chosen and they didn’t play favoritism just because I’m the founder. We worked together and I loved every minute of it. In the end, I felt more well-rounded as a leader and collaborative as a follower!

The Lesson

As a leader, my job is to create other leaders, not do everything myself. Now, there something you should know – I’m a perfectionist, so when I founded this organization, I truly felt like I had to do everything and as a result, my Troupe didn’t feel like I didn’t trust them to do anything. Over time, we communicated openly and worked on being a well-oiled machine instead of a bunch of squeaky gears. The result is a group of 10 people that know their roles, serve in them well, and be interchangeable as needed.

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Teammates down, Coach.

Are you allowing yourself to be a team player? Do you listen to the heartbeat of your team or do you just push them to exhaustion?

What would happen if all of our leaders learned how to be exceptional followers?

Peace & Thanks for listening! #ivoted

 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 2 – Do It Afraid

The Good

#2 – I danced and mimed at Dance Across Birmingham!

Why is this significant? Because I didn’t die doing it!

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Dance Across Birmingham is hosted by the Alabama Dance Council (ADC) and is a creative ritual for me. My adventurous self gets to frolic between any dance genre that tickles my fancy. For one Saturday out of the year, members of ADC provide free dance classes for the Birmingham community and beyond. You can learn everything from ballroom dancing to salsa to belly dancing to Bollywood. I love it! It gives me a chance to stretch my dance limits and be uninhibited with a group of strangers. No one judges your stumbling feet and flailing arms as you also learn with those who are classically trained. The instructors make sure that you have fun in all of your awkward glory and you meet some incredibly cool people in each class.

During lunchtime, the instructors become the performers and you watch them explode with excellence in their respective genres. Asian-inspired awesomeness, hip-hop glory… it’s a beautiful parade of talent, skill, and passion.. and I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to be on that stage.

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Dancing with Nathifa Dance Company & Outreach, LLC

Well, that dream became a reality this year thanks to Sistah LaVondia Smith, Founder and Artistic Director of Nathifa Dance Company & Outreach, LLC and Rosemary Johnson, Executive Director of the Alabama Dance Council. I was elated to dance with Sistah LaVondia and NDC because of their powerful and colorful African dancing and drumming. They are a sight to behold and a force to be felt! I had admired them since they began 25 years ago. If that wasn’t enough excitement, I performed a mime piece with my Troupe and was infused with strength! What an awesome 1-2 punch of goodness!

The Lesson

Fear is the only thing standing between you and Glory.

For decades I was scared of African dancing because of my respiratory issues. I was haunted by a fear of having an asthma attack mid-performance, so I cowardly never tried to learn it with full capacity of heart. Wow… to think of how much I was missing out! After that performance with NDC and a few others, I was offered the opportunity to join the Company. I was grateful and honored, to say the least.

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What can I say? We get down and dirty for the sake of the Message.

The other fear I had was that my Troupe wouldn’t appear good enough to perform on that stage. We are a comprehensive powerhouse, but I honestly wasn’t sure if we would be accepted as equals. We are a group of faith-based performing artists that come from various backgrounds and our puzzle pieces fit perfectly to create movement that touches the soul. We unapologetically seek to reach an audience of ONE, but I couldn’t help but think that our colleagues wouldn’t understand us. I was emphatically wrong. Not only did they get it, but they enjoyed it!

All it took was a resolve to stand in the face of fear, push it down and walk over it. Sounds easy, but it wasn’t. I just did it anyway. If I had not done so, I would have missed out on two beautiful milestones and someone could have have missed a moment they may have needed to experience.

What is one thing that scares you, but you want to do it more than you’re afraid of it? I stand with you and pray for our boldness to run right over it. Will you get the tingle of timidity every now and then? Maybe. That doesn’t mean that you can’t conquer it, again and again.

Peace & Thanks for listening and “see” you tomorrow for Day 3 of #bloglikecrazy!

Wednesday Wind Down: On the 6

Good Evening, Sweethearts!

Tonight, I’m sharing an open letter to my performing arts troupe. As you read it, think of how you can inhale and exhale more efficiently with your squad. If you don’t have one, you got me. Here we go…

ON THE 6: an open letter to Workmanship Incorporated

The number 6 represents the imperfections of man, labor, and is often used to indicate symmetry.

There were 6 days of creation and the Creator made man on the 6th day.

A family table often hosts 6 chairs.

What a unpopular, yet fitting number to celebrate.

In 6 years, we have disrobed and unmasked before each other, revealing the vulnerability of ministry – raw, beautiful, and free. Our paths were forged long before we formed a crew, and so were our tears. The struggles, the laughter, the prayers, the outpour of anointing… all of which encompasses the journey we chose to take together 6 years ago. I wouldn’t trade anything for June 5, 2012, when my hands shook with nervousness before each call to request your time and energy.

Now, we breathe as a family of imperfect people on fire for God’s Love and Creative Expression. We are His Workmanship and it’s an honor to serve with you.

Let’s keep going.

XO, Christina

Peace & Thanks for listening. 

#bloglikecrazy: Day 26 – Dance

I have a confession to make. I dance around the house for no reason other than it makes me happy, and sometimes, I do it in heels. My dog looks at me funny from time to time, but I think he’s gotten use to my random bursts of movement.

I step, I salsa, I groove, and I do the running man when it hits me. I’m a dancer, through and through. No, I wasn’t classically trained in ballet. No, I didn’t participate in summer dance intensives. I hear music in my head and I move to it.

Growing up, I listened to jazz, gospel, rock, heavy metal, blues, R&B, hip-hop, country… you name it. Thanks to my family, I was exposed to some good stuff and that goodness would seep beneath my pores and I would be compelled to let it out. Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain would get a mix of hair swinging and stepping. Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin would get head bobs and horrible attempts at whistling. Going through my uncle’s cassette drawer was like eating at a musical candy factory. I was in heaven every time I could sneak a listen.

Now the cassette and headphones have been replaced with streaming queues and bluetooth speakers, but I dance just as hard. Music will always be in my DNA no matter how old I get. It makes me feel alive and healthy, running fine on all cylinders – even if but for 3:32. Diving into my audible ocean means everything to me and I always resurface better than before. I think the freedom makes me a better choreographer.

What do you do that gives you unadulterated happiness? Is it bike riding? Rollerskating? Painting? Cooking? Whatever it is, I pray that you get to do it before the year ends and whenever the mood strikes. Get some happy in your life!

Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts!

Photo courtesy of consequenceofsound.net

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