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Listening at the Speed of Life

– by C. J. Wade –

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Good Night, Monday: All Good Things

We made it to August, Family… and whew, did 2024 fly in here.

Seriously. I said the same thing last year thinking it would calm down next year, but that would be (as we say in the South) “too much like right.”

This year began with one word in my spirit – SHINE.

Last year’s words were ACTIVATE and LIFT, so I thought this year would be a maintenance situation of whatever was activated and lifted.

WRONG.

That word SHINE reverberated through my life starting the first week of January when I was planning rehearsals for my first solo-produced show. It kept going as I watched my work performed at a state dance festival and completed a 10-month group wellness series at the library. I’ve been reaping the harvest of seeds sown years ago. Forging new relationships and discovering more within me to give and value. The last 6 months have been a progressive and humbling ride. And I can say is it’s been an interesting journey and internally, I like it here.

When I reflect on that post from July 2023, this section jumps out –

I’m learning to let God create a new normal that consists of opportunities and miracles. That the seeds I’ve planted are subject to growing into a harvest. I am challenged to believe the floor will drop beneath my feet at any moment, but that instant need to recoil is becoming more of an anomaly. I open my hands to receive because I accept the joy of the giver’s intention.

This year, I’ve learned the only way to shine is to keep my hands open toward the Son. To receive His Blessing and lessons equally. To accept the truth that I am worthy of experiencing goodness and mercy all the days of my life. Distractions and hardships will come, but they can not stick. I reign in the Truth that God’s Love through Jesus set me free to be my best self. I don’t have to wonder about what is real. I stand in its shoes. I appreciate the good things.

Here’s 30 goals I met in 6 months!

  1. Hosted and debuted another spoken word piece at Dance Levels‘ Journey to Africa Dance Production. Thank you, Maya Spivey, for another wonderful time!
  2. My Christian creative collective Workmanship Incorporated celebrated 12 years of ministry and outreach!
  3. Co-choreographed Gradient Dance Theater & Community‘s production of Tortoise and the Hare. What?! It was so magical. Thank you Taylor and Joanna for this experience and it was a pleasure to choreograph with you, Grace. Post-Cool Art Collective, you’re geniuses.
  4. Hosted and debuted another spoken word piece at New Awakening Recovery Services‘ Recovery Monologues. Thank you Martina Dailey for this lovely experience!
  5. Ate Maggiano’s. (I told you it is my favorite annual must-stop). 🙌🏾
  6. Completed my first solo-produced show… and it sold out! 🙌🏾
  7. Still got my therapy, hair, nails and pedicure appointments in.
  8. Attended a French Conversation Club meeting.
  9. Hosted self-care letter-writing events.
  10. Attended Dance Across Birmingham and the Alabama Dance Festival. I stretched myself and took new classes with confidence and vulnerability.
  11. Advocated for dance pay equity in churches
  12. Served as an online service host for Zion Church (Hey, Zion Fam!)
  13. Taught African Dance and Stepping classes with The Dance Foundation and Gradient Dance Theater & Community. So much fun… ooooo!
  14. Served on the district and local executive council of my sorority
  15. Completed two food-based fasts to strengthen my spirit
  16. Had necessary conversations and released the ones I will never have
  17. Supported my creative colleagues through performance attendance, donations, and prayers.
  18. Increased my confidence in speaking about my brands to strangers. (I still get nervous.)
  19. Attended a UAB Black Alumni Meeting. Finally!
  20. Hung out with a younger SoRHOr and forged a stronger bond. We have to bridge the divide.
  21. Planned a sweet birthday surprise for someone I love
  22. Facilitated a collaborative massage promotion with Datus Henry CBD Wellness Store
  23. Saw the play The Color Purple at Red Mountain Theatre
  24. Performed at Black History pieces in February. I was so excited to do it.
  25. Obtained TWO positive doctor reports!
  26. Attended an Unboxed Worship First Friday Experience hosted by one of my favorite people – Desiree Danielle
  27. Saw my work performed at the North Alabama Dance Festival
  28. Created and kept sister time appointments with my inner circle
  29. Read to middle-schoolers and provided encouragement
  30. Taught a step workshop at the Powered by Girls Conference at UAB ArtPlay

And that’s just some of the goals I met that I had in mind last year. New things I wanted to do and things I wanted to do better. That’s how I am embracing my shine. Creating breathing room to expand in ways I never thought was within reach at this time of my life. Giving myself grace to evolve and learn new ways of doing things. Allowing myself to be here and whole.

And what did I do for the 4th of July? Same as last year – completed massage client sessions, ate lunch from a client who annually feeds me from her delectable kitchen menu, listened to UAB Summer Band and watched fireworks. This word SHINE grew in me like a little seedling, and little did not how much it would yield.

See you tomorrow.

Peace & Love y’all,

CJW

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Wednesday Wind Down: Underwear, Overlook

Happy Wednesday, Family!

I’m excited to connect with you in another season of the blog, and this season starts with something we all know — underwear.

I bought new underwear today. Now, don’t get it twisted. I don’t own holey, raggedy pairs. So, why did I buy new ones? Great question. Grab some tea and let me tell you.

I was in the store getting some quick necessary items. As I walked toward the checkout area, I passed by home decor and thought “One day, I’ll be able to buy what I want without caring for the price. I’ll buy it because I like it and it’s for me.” I’ve never been a retail-therapy girl, but I’ve always been a gut shopper. I have to love it or I won’t buy it. It has to make sense to me. Once I’m locked in on it, it’s a done deal.

So, I kept floating through this mini-prayer as my feet led me past the vases, pillows, and plush seating. The soft colors and textures lured me into their lair, so I stood in a trance for a minute. Slowly blinking and imagining. Virtually placing furniture pieces in my future forever home. I was daydreaming and I was enjoying it. I sighed and kept walking, but I wasn’t sad. Longing, but not sad.

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Then, a seedling of annoyance grew into an epiphany.

I need new underwear. Like all new underwear.

I have a variety of styles, so I was specifically looking for casual comfort. Now, we’re family around here, so you’ll just keep reading without judgment, OK? OK, great.

I felt this overwhelming urge to buy underwear… to buy what I needed. To replace the old and walk in the new – literally. Suddenly, my feet had a mind of their own and I meandered through the store and into the underwear section. Then I sighed again.

This was ridiculous. Why was I overanalyzing the purchase of a necessary item? Is that not what I came into the store to buy? Well… no. I didn’t come to buy underwear, but yes, I came to buy what was necessary. And there I was looking at the display and second-guessing my next move.

Why? Because I have plenty of underwear at home, but I don’t wear them.

Don’t freak out. This is not my underwear.
Photo by ud83dudc34chuanyu2015 on Pexels.com.

I don’t wear 98% of my underwear because they are uncomfortable. Too tight here, not enough tightness there, fabric feels weird on my skin, lace feels scratchy, and we won’t talk about wedgies. Just uncomfortable. I rotate the regular players and even I get sick of looking at them on the field every week. This coming from a former Victoria’s Secret associate who knows her way around undergarments of all kinds. What a waste I was making of that product knowledge.

So, why do I still have the unusable underwear? Because somewhere in this amazing brain of mine, I think one day they will fit perfectly and I just need to keep them until they do. I paid for them and I don’t want to waste my money. Whatever the truthy-lie was, it had stopped working. I was done with overlooking my underwear conundrum. There was no excuse why I should keep players on the bench knowing I’ll never play them.

Mmmm…, I thought, they may not be on sale today.

Turns out they were. Quality, cute underwear on sale. Comfortable, cute underwear on sale.

So, I bought 4 pair. And I smiled at my spiritual victory over the scarcity mindset once again. It likes to creep up on me at the oddest of times, like in a normal store run for deodorant and toothbrushes.

But today, it didn’t win. And the next time, it won’t either. I plan to keep winning until it becomes normal too.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

How long will you be comfortable with discomfort… mediocre… unrest? Something you don’t have to deal with but you keep telling yourself a truthy-lie to keep you comfortable in it.

How long will you deprive yourself of what you need, what you rightfully should own… like joy, peace, and Love?

How many more times will you denounce the authority God has already given you?

That drawer at home is full of underwear that I don’t use and won’t use, yet it takes up space where something else can live. It’s wasted real estate and I had become comfortable with it for years. A few pair would be discarded here and there, but the truth was that I was holding on to something that was wasting space.

What are you holding on to that is wasting space in your heart? I believe God has so much more for us than we allow. That’s why my recent prayer has been “Expand my arms to hold what you have for me.” I can’t say I want better and have my fists outstretched toward heaven. God needs them open, wide open.

I plan to keep winning.
I plan to keep opening my arms.
I plan to keep praying for guidance out of old habits.

I pray you do the same.

Peace & Thanks for listening!

CJW

1

Resurrect Me – Part 3 (almost done)

Hi, Family!

Last night was story time about when to lift. Tonight is a double lesson but no story time. Let’s go!

UTR Lesson #3 – Excellence speaks silent volumes.

Each person below had a specific job and they were exceptional in it. Their excellence was so pronounced that they were asked to do it for years.

Some of them, like Dr. Yancey (bottom right) had academic preparation to adequately describe the miracle of Lazarus’s death. I’ve never been so excited to hear about death in my life. Trust me, Family, you will almost throw your shoe during his soliloquy. Get the recording. You’ll also see him sing opera, but don’t tell him I told you. 🙂

Pastor Mark V. Brown, Sr. and his shofar (top left). Powerful. Each performance, he would sit patiently and wait until his appointed time. No fanfare. Gentle smile. Focused and calm. I admired his position and stewardship of such a revered symbol.

Mr. Hubert (top right) built the props and orchestrated his team like a conductor leads a symphony. He knew every piece of every part and could move something in record time. When I asked him if he went to school for it, he said no… God showed him what to do. *mind blown*

Ms. Ruthie was my sweet firecracker (bottom left). Everything was on stage because of her amazing stage management. Impeccable, small, and mighty. With her white gloves and super stare, this production ran like a ship seasoned for the seas.

The voice of Antonio Bowman is one to be marveled. I can’t tell you how many times I cried and jumped when he sang during the Triumphal Entry. Every year, that’s the voice you’re waiting for and every year, he sings like it’s his last (his words, not mine). I also can’t tell you how many times we laughed backstage. Jokes are good for the soul and we had plenty.

Excellence is consistent and UTR resurrected that truth in me. I’ve been working in the arts since I was child. From then to even now, people assumed I didn’t need help because it didn’t look like it. A sliver of burnout was peeking over the horizon and I prayed it wouldn’t rise. I prayed that God would resuscitate me for the rest of the journey because I love my lanes. Whether behind the scenes, hosting a principal part, or delivering several parts, excellence was everywhere that weekend and it was life-giving. Then, God gave me Lesson #4.

UTR Lesson #4 – A dream takes a village.

The beauty about a dream is that isn’t yours.

The birth plan of a vision can expand well over 9 months, but the best part is that you’re not alone. You’re actually part of a symphony. You just haven’t met the rest of the musicians yet.

When I observed these moments in time, I couldn’t help but notice a proverbial hum of workmanship in every area. The make-up team was preparing the dancers for their next scene. The sound technicians checked levels. The gloved hands of the crew waiting for their cue to raise the curtain or the actor in his harness. Ashlee and I formed a tag team to take down a disciple’s braided hair (representation is important in Biblical performances, by the way).

When excellence is at work, God will bring the village. He will send the help. I believe that now more than ever.

Being a creative can be daunting, but being a creative in Kingdom arts can compound the fatigue. The idea is that you don’t need anything or anyone because you’re doing it for God and God has everything, so hey… you’ll be alright. Just keep going. Who cares if you have one leg left, an eyeball barely in socket, and a sore throat? Who cares if you can’t pay your bills because you’ve donated all of your labor? God is good! Keep going! Well, that’s a narrative I vow to change – in a different avenue, so let’s get back to this road.

The miracle of UTR is that two people multiplied into many hands which created lighter work, yet the excellence was not watered down. That’s amazing to me. No longer do you have to toil in a silo (talking to myself).

What a village, we were. My mother and aunt served food to hundreds of cast and crew. My two sisters/Workmanship Incorporated teammates were part of the make-up squad. Two young ladies that grew up in the production were now applying make-up and lashes on two veteran department directors. I helped one year and brought others. Others helped and brought more others.

The village.

There goes that Lesson #1 again.

Simply put, the vision seems too big because I am not designed to carry it alone.

God will send me my village to help me carry out his instructions. I no longer feel heavy with doubt that I won’t be able to carry the vision to term. I see what’s possible if I just do my part in excellence.

The same goes for you, Family. If you’re standing next to an incredible task, know that you’re not alone. Someone else is standing next to one and possibly the same one. Looking up at it and getting dizzy.

We have help coming. Encouragement, financials, employees, volunteers, venues… it’s coming. And if you look around – just pause and look – you might find that your help is already here.

I’m praying for you. We got this. Keep dreaming.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.

1

Wednesday Wind Down: So Beautiful

Hi, Family!

Imagine the following:

You’re sitting at your work desk, typing out the dreams you hope to produce while listening to a jazzy playlist.

You feel a little down with the possibility that you won’t see all of them come true. Shallow breaths flow underneath your N95 mask as you struggle through the emotional wave.

You stay distracted enough to walk past the detours of doubt, but you still feel that you should be further along in life. So to prevent from diving into that rabbit hole, you turn the music up a little and keep bobbing your head to the groove. The tapping of the keystrokes serve as pink noise and you’re officially in the zone.

Like a soft tap on the shoulder, a sweet familiar chord leaks through your earbuds. Your fingers pause. Your eyes close and a smile escapes your soul and rests lightly on your face.

Out of nowhere, an unexplainable warmth showers you from the top of your head to your feet underneath the desk. Your fingers soften and your doubts suddenly seem miniature. And you let yourself bathe in it.

Photo by Radu Florin on Pexels.com

That’s what I did.

I let myself float in the words of that song. Then it began to transcribe differently onto my heart. The love song no longer was about a paramour – it felt like my Father was reminding me of how special I was. The lyrics were replaced with a paternal love that was rich, real, and deep. I felt undeniably loved. Undeniably confident. Comforted, beautiful, and exquisite. I felt priceless like any princess should be.

It was an exceptional moment that filled me up at work in less than 5 minutes. While typing out my dreamy plans and feeling inadequate. The affirmation was all I needed to remember who I was more than what I did.

That’s what Love should leave you with –fullness and freedom.

It’s not about how size of the gift and how you can flaunt it on social media.

Love affirms and covers our weak areas. Love doesn’t leave a deficit. It warms our souls when life feels cold and apathetic. We don’t like to admit it, but it’s easy to get distracted by disappointment. You don’t get the call, the date, the ring, etc. It’s only because we expect from someone that isn’t designed to fill us eternally. So, we sulk around holidays like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, and New Year’s if we are not spending time with people or receive their attention. In reality, it’s also hard to admit they may not value us in return.

“Love doesn’t leave a deficit.”

– C.J. Wade

You should never be a second-thought and your heart health is not contingent upon someone else.

So, depressurize Valentine’s Day. Just enjoy the Tuesday and love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31). Besides… next thing you know, it will be Wednesday and we’ll meet back here with 50% off candy.

You are so beautiful because God made you to be a masterpiece. Those who do not see you are simply blind to your wonder.

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love y’all.

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Wednesday Wind Down: Application

Hi, Family!

Thank you so much for being patient with my posting gaps this year. I’ve been realigning my lifestyle and it has been WHEW! Effective yet difficult. That’s actually what I want to talk to you about.

When it’s done properly, application will ruffle your feathers and question everything you know.

It will straighten you up and make you walk properly. It will wreck your familiar and reconstruct a new normal.

And that’s what it’s been doing to me.

While I was used to writing you every Wednesday before bed, my body demanded more rest. My mind yelled for change. My spirit heard the divine directive to write earlier in the day and sometimes, days prior. “But where do I fit that in?” I asked numerous times. “I’ll just write it Wednesday night.” Yeah, we see how that turned out. What you don’t see are the multiple blog drafts where I started the message and fell asleep in the middle of production. What good did that do?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

That’s not application. That’s not where growth lives.

And I’ve been allowing God to rearrange everything – from my mental furniture to my spiritual operating system. I would love to tell you that, in October, I have all the new gears running but that is a big fat NO.

I’m still working on it.
I’m still digesting.
I’m still getting acclimated.
And I’m all in for the application.

Imagine how spiritually strong we would be if we digested every scripture we heard from every sermon. Now, imagine how gluttonous or emaciated some of us are from not allowing the Word of God to nourish our spirits. It’s crazy, isn’t it? To envision a physical representation of both spiritual extremes. To fathom the notion that we are not growing to our purposeful capacity. That as many YouTube sermons, Instagram sermon clips, bible studies, and inspirational books we consume, we are still somehow unwell. Unstable. Angry. Confused. Hurt. Longing. Wandering. Scared.

Allow me to share what I heard this week –

“You can know scripture all day long, but until you apply it – you don’t know it.“

– heard 10/17/22 @ 2:00 AM –

You can’t apply the Word like makeup. It isn’t meant to cover and disguise. It is meant to clean.

In the world of make-up artistry, an applicator is used to place or spread make-up on the body without transference to and from the make-up artist (MUA). The Word of God is designed to seep into the deepest parts of you, not spread across the surface. Until you apply it, it will sit on the surface of your heart for decades. Big Christian conferences and all.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Application requires vulnerability and annihilation of pride. It requires the ability to open your heart to change. It’s a statement. Even when you apply for a job, you’re opening your skills and schedule to meet the need of an employer. The application is a gateway agreement that states “I will share myself with you and you will share yourself with me.”

Courtesy of my YouVersion Bible App

I used to tell my students that until they could explain the concept to someone, they didn’t understand it. And if they didn’t understand it, they didn’t know it. Until I saw application, I wasn’t convinced they absorbed the information. I believe God wants us to understand His Love beyond memorizing verses. I admonish you (and me) to submit your application to the Word of God. Make the statement. Surrender the contract to let the Scriptures live in your life. Only then will change come true.

That’s what I’m doing, and it’s uncomfortable and invigorating. Just like we develop physically, I am determined to constantly develop spiritually. It’s worth it. I don’t want to die in a stunted state.

My prayer for you is to be open to true spiritual growth. I pushing through the dirt just like you.

So, what are you working on?

Peace & Thanks for listening. I love you all.

2

Wednesday Wind Down: Growth Rate

Hi, Family!

Here’s a shortstop for your week (500 words or less).

Seeds grow at different times.

I walked in the Birmingham Botanical Gardens recently and heard that in my spirit. It was like a gift I didn’t see coming. I looked around and saw all of the different types of trees, grasses, and flowers and noticed how harmoniously they lived together. I was in wonder enough, then that sentence dropped. Wow, I replied internally, that’s so true. We get so caught up on where everyone else is in life that we forget we’re seeds too and we are on separate timetables. There’s no race to the finish. No checkpoint to reach before our competition catches up. There’s not even competition around you – it’s in you. The more you focus on the growth track of those around you, you’ll stunt the growth in you… but I won’t digress. Let’s keep going. Here’s the next thing I heard.

We need to let a seed be a seed.

Seeds don’t grow into trees overnight. They take time and the right conditions. They require nutrients from the air and the soil. So that means we do too. Our environment affects our growth mindset – words said around us (air) and where we’re planted (soil). We must be patient with ourselves and each other because only God knows the timelines. He is the Master Gardener and He knows exactly what we need to grow to fill what is needed in this world. In the process, He also grows us up… and we can’t rush that. What parent looks at their children and say “Tommy, it’s March. Your sister learned to write her name in March, so you have until the end of the month.” Umm… nobody. Furthermore, you have some growing to do in an area that is probably behind someone that you know and love. We’re all seeds and I thank God that He knows what each seed needs for each season. I would totally messed this world up with too much water, sunlight, or something else. *lol*

I hope you’re having a good week. My prayer is that you are filled with pauses that make you wonder. They’re good for the soul. And if you’re in Alabama, visit the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. It’s a beautiful place. The pictures in this post came from my camera.

I love y’all. Stay well out there. Peace & Thanks for listening!

2

Thursday Love: Assembly Required

Good Evening, Family!

This post has a couple of layers, but the main idea is this – Compassion and Accountability can co-exist.

For some reason, we think the are opposing forces in every situation. This mirage of dissonance manifests into online arguments, silent family tables, and disjointed communities. What gets left in dust is our humanity and our faith. Let me explain. It may sting a little bit, but this is safe place to grow.

The first thing you think of is “Well, what did they do to deserve it?” when you hear of tragedy, you’re acting just like the Pharisees in the book of John, Chapter 8. Do you know what makes me chuckle about that story? The facts that they called Jesus “Teacher” when they ran up on Him (woman in hand) and the fact that Jesus had a whole Jeopardy-waiting-theme-music moment before they filed out one by one. Seriously, I scoff every time I read those parts.

Photo by Armin Rimoldi on Pexels.com

Why?

Because you would think the Pharisees would know better than to try to trap Jesus in a social and religious debate, but no… they didn’t. Just like today, they wanted to see what He would say so they could claim He wasn’t who He was. They were determined to make the issue bigger than the Savior. Personally, I would have taken that waiting period before He answered as a hint to leave… quietly… right then. Something inside of me would have had to click in a different gear to say “Hold up. I think He’s giving me a chance to correct myself.” Anywho…

If you have an insatiable need to consume news and gossip, check your intentions.

Are you praying for the murdered and the murderers?
Are you praying for public officials?
Are you involving yourself in local avenues of service?
Are you listening to your hurting friends?
Are you making sure you aren’t part of the problem?

What are you doing with all of that information anyway? Morning, mid-day, evening, and late night, what you’re really doing is getting full of yourself. I’m not saying you should pretend like nothing is happening, but I am very much saying that you should not be consumed by all that swirls around you.

Look on the flip side and survey your intentions in consuming faith-building content. Newsflash: It’s not for Sundays only.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

What a concept, right? I know! It sounds simple until we’re bombarded on Monday with an annoying co-worker or when someone cuts us off during our morning commute. Family, we are required to apply what we learn from those sermons, podcasts, life groups, Bible studies, YouTube videos, etc. All of that should amount to something. Everything. More than the things of this life. We should be growing to greater. Growing into the best version of ourselves.

As seasons change, so should we. So should we develop and stretch and evolve.

Take all of that Word you get every week and curate it into a life force that this world needs. A beacon for your street. People’s hearts are aching out here… to see the beauty in the mess. To see something better than what’s crumbling in front of them.

I’ll say it until my last breath – You can’t say you’re a Christian and not act like Christ. Seeing hurt anywhere should hurt you because Jesus’ compassion was epic. He could have easily grilled the woman in John 8, but instead, He showed her compassion before He issued accountability (verse 11).

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

The last time I checked, we’re required to work together down here. You don’t have to like everything your co-worker likes or agree with everything your neighbor does, but you do have to love them. Even Paul said to live peaceably with everyone as best you can. He knew it would be difficult. And it’s hard for me to watch us not doing that in such a time as this. We would rather use buzz words and jargon instead of talking to humans like they’re related to us.

Be mindful of how you’re representing Christ out here. The world is watching. Your friends are watching. Your family is watching. Imagine how full we could actually be if we emptied ourselves first? Imagine how powerful God’s Love could be through us if we implemented every verse we read, every song we sang, and every Biblical message we’ve heard in our lifetimes thus far. Now imagine it starting with you… today.

Peace & Thanks for listening, Family! Stay well out here and I’m rooting for you!

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Wednesday Wind Down: Poetry – I SALUTE YOU

Hi, Family!

In honor of National Poetry Month, I made a goal to share a poem or spoken word piece each week. Well, last week, I feel off the rocker, so I’m posting one tonight and another on Sunday!

The piece below was written exactly one year ago in February while contemplating the past and present sacrifices made in my culture. Thanks in advance for reading it!

I SALUTE YOU

For every elder that was asked “How many bubbles are in a bar of soap?” before casting their vote

I stand for you.

Hold my head up high and walk into work every day for you.
Go to class and flash my smile and say “Yes, I’m here” for you.

For my sisterfriend on the verge of killing cancer dead in its tracks
Intelligence questioned by White men, assuming her competence is thin and porous
For every train car that clickety-clacked with Pullman porters, chins up and hands out in superior service

I stand for you.

This isn’t just Black History to me. This is a perpetual ceremony where you are the guests of honor.

I get the privilege of cooling in your shadows, walking in your footsteps, glowing in your Sonlight, basking in your love for my future.

For every lash received with outstretched arms and naked backs
I proudly stand for you.

Clap my hands, hoot and holla any day for you, because you did what so few could do.
You kept clocking in when they spit on you.
Breastfed their children when they wouldn’t feed you.
Sang and danced like a beautiful Black angel when they wouldn’t even pay you.
You lived when they tried to kill you.

I stand for you.

Grandma, washing clothes of White families over the mountain, feet filled with fatigue
In fatigues, Grandpa called “boy” while lacing up his combat boots getting ready for war
Fighting for rights that didn’t see the light of day… back home

Accepting substandard pay and being told to comb your hair
Swallowing your pride and pushing down your voice
Diluting who you are to match someone else’s choice
Being a superhero for your children when you were just treated like a child
Making me smile after a long hard day
Washing my socks on your hands before Sunday morning
Dressing me like a chocolate doll and telling me I’m beautiful
Even though you couldn’t afford to buy your food

You will never be forgotten.
I appreciate you.
I stand for you.
I salute you.
Forever, and ever…
Amen.

***

The Magic City Poetry Festival is going strong here. Check out their events and read about the founder of the festival who is also first Black and youngest poet laureate of Alabama. How cool is that? I salute you, Ashley M. Jones.

Peace & Thanks for listening! 🙂

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Wednesday Wind Down: Appreciate Each Other

Hi, Family!

We’ve been on the appreciation train and tonight we’re focusing on each other… but not quite how you think.

I was listening to a sermon on YouTube and the auto-playlist showed a clip about a celebrity divorce. I’m not into gossip, so I rolled past it. Then I went back to it and stared at the sensational title and description. I thought of how crippling it could be to have intimate details of your life dissected among the public and sprinkled with the hot sauce of opinion. I imagined it was me.

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

During my divorce process, my mother said one thing – “No one really knows what goes on in a marriage except the people in it.” It’s true. All of the highs and lows are stuck between you and your spouse. Even if children are involved, they host a non-marital point of view.

Mutual friends. Mutual places. Mutual memories. It all comes to a close.

You wonder if you’re still connected to the people you shared – What do they think of me? Are we not friends anymore? Will I get invited to the wedding, baby shower, birthday party…?

Eating at the same restaurant without them feels weird. There was flirting, dessert, a symphony of laughs… you’re used to being part of a pair. Events you both attended now feel like foreign soil, even if things ended on civil terms.

And the memories. No one prepares you for the flashbacks in your mind, body, and spirit. After all, you were one.

Some of those areas close abruptly while others commit to a slow (and sometimes awkward) burn. You’re open. Raw. And you’re still going to work, raising children, caring for a parent, and appearing “normal” while debriding parts of your life. Now, your name is changed (again), you have to learn a new morning routine, or you have to create a solid face each time you say “We’re no longer together.”

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

What if the intimate details of your life were on display for millions to watch and reply? Then those persons demanded to be updated about each step without regard for the crackling sound of your heart breaking seconds at a time.

What if they captured your tears on camera and replayed your exposed emotions on their hand-held screens? Then tell you that you’re required to filet your wounds because you’re a public figure.

Did I also mention that your body is constantly being dissected according to its best and worst parts? Yeah… because your photo is always up for the taking. And your hair and makeup better be perfect.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

I want you to sit with that amount of emotional exposure for a minute. No wonder some burn under the limelight and seek seclusion at any chance. The thought of people digging into the season of my divorce makes me shudder. Seriously. Though it was amicable, it was still a tender time in my life.

If we can respond to the invasion of Ukraine with a high level of compassion (prayers continued to our Ukrainian brothers and sisters and visitors of the country), certainly we can spread it to others during sensitive times.

Be gentle with people going through divorces, especially public figures. Let’s grow from being messy school kids gossiping in the social media cafeteria. It’s depreciating and we can do better. There are delicate emotions involved that should be handled with care. Before you comment under that post or upload the meme, put your face in there. See your child’s face there. Imagine your parent’s name there. Now think of Jesus. Remember His compassion and our charge to treat each other with value. That’s the center of appreciation.

Courtesy of Youversion – The Bible App

I love the second definition of appreciation from Merriam-Webster – increase in value. Something increases in value when it is preserved over time and with distinct effort. It’s been protected, catalogued, and gently handled. It was valuable upon creation, but its value increases with consistent care. The more fingerprints, the less value. Family, don’t be the excess fingerprints that decrease a person’s sense of value. Be uplifting. Say encouraging words. Pray earnestly… and not out of what you want but out of what God says is healthy for their lives.

Love will forever be an action word. How can we say we Love God and not express Love to each other? How can we Love people we do not know and not the ones we do? We should handle each other carefully, with grace and Love. Every day. No matter what they look like or where they live. No one is required to update their status to soothe your itch for details. No price is high enough to demand answers when someone is restructuring their reality.

My prayer is that someone appreciates you in your current season. If things are going well, I pray they raise their arms with you in celebration. If things are not so great, I pray they elevate your heart with compassion and walk through the mud with you. And if you’re a celebrity/public figure reading this, my prayers are with you always. It takes a lot to be where you are, so I pray God reminds you that you are more valuable than your gift. I pray you feel the blanket of His Love every day, no matter the chatter at the lunch table.

Peace & Thanks for listening! Stay well out there!

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