When I read this verse, I immediately saw the image of the scales of justice.
While actions can be seen, motives can be stealthy like the cloak of invisibility in Harry Potter. Actions are nice, after all, Love is an action word (isn’t that what we say?); however, motives are the legs upon which actions stand. You can tell if someone gives you a gift from the heart. It doesn’t matter how expensive it is or where it was found. It’s the motive, the undercarriage of intent that makes or breaks the transaction. That’s what I have found to be true over the years. The heart of the receiver has to match the heart of the giver for the exchange to be simultaneously priceless.
When God looks at us, He doesn’t weigh the ways; He weighs the motives. That means He puts more weights on the side of my intentions than the deed itself. My reasons behind my ways will be heavier than how much it cost me to do it. Every. Single. Time.
My prayer? Thank you, God, for weighing the heart and Lord, please help my intentions!
Peace & Thanks for listening, Sweethearts.
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Forever is a long time to grow. Are you willing to do it?
I mean it. Are you willing to a make a pact with God that you will grow as long as you live here on Earth? After all, we are the seeds of Adam and Eve and quite frankly, there’s still some growing to do. If plants can do it, why can’t we? Why can’t we do what seeds do – germinate and multiply?
It seems hard to think about, but we are designed to break free from the shell of innocence and yield a life with more seeds to plant. With our words, deeds, and talents, we were created to expand and produce a harvest for others to courageously do the same.
So, when I say “Forever is a long time to grow,” I intend to invoke conviction of every intrapersonal and interpersonal interaction you will have for the rest of your life. I want you to think about the seeds your fruit is producing for others to ingest. I want you to think about forever.
Peace & Thanks for listening!
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In class on November 15th, we discussed correctional facilities and prison reform. I posed the following question to my students: Are correctional facilities designed to “correct” behavior or character? Most of them said “both,” but some said neither. What do you think?
As we go about our holiday season, I think of those who are unable to have food, family, and fun – at the same time. Needless to say, there are individuals who have committed crimes unthinkable, yet there are some who have not. Are their lives being changed while on the inside of confinement? Are our lives being enhanced while we are captive to our vices? The truth is if we were caught in our everyday violations of malice, greed, and pride, we would be incarcerated right along side of our brothers and sisters.
So, I pose these questions to you… What are you chained to? What mental or emotional prison are you in? Is your “facility” correcting or enabling the behavior that got you there?
Perhaps, we all need reform from the inside, out.
Peace & Thanks for listening.
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When you come to my class, you’ll learn one thing… I love to have fun, but I don’t play. I want students to change the game of their future professions. I don’t train robots; I train thinkers. Critical, comprehensive thinkers. I mentally condition my students to problem-solve, not memorize. It’s a superpower, I guess… to train the mind. So, you could say that Tuesday, November 14th was training day.
The scientific method was on deck for psychology and public issues were on the menu for speech. Their brains were squeezed a little bit, but they left the room with more elasticity than they arrived with.
In both classes, I assisted students in solving problems in their future career field. After all, shouldn’t that be the goal? I don’t want them to graduate and simply fall into the status quo of complaining about everything around them. I want them to think of solutions and be daring enough to try them. That’s how the game changes; that’s how progress is made. It’s made by people saying “What about this?” and “Let’s try it this way.” Enough of sitting down and waiting on someone to magically fix all of our problems in the industries we love. We are the fixers. We are the thinkers.
I call them Birmingham’s Finest every day for a reason – because I truly believe they are. They can do anything the world needs.
The funny thing about tasting something that is bittersweet is you never get the bitter and the sweet at the same time. According to the word, you would think the bitter comes first, but it doesn’t.
Friend, Mentor, & Founding Director Kevin P. Turner
On November 13th, I anticipated the bitter. The sweet was there, sprinkled throughout the day, but the closer time moved toward 7:00 PM, bitter’s presence drew near. It was a performance filled with firsts and lasts – first time my performing arts troupe was featured at the Alys Stephens Performing Arts Center by way of the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) Gospel Choir, first time one of my teammates would sing with the choir, last time I would perform under Director Kevin Turner with the choir, and the last time Monday night would be sacred in this capacity. Being connected to a living thing for 16 years will make you expect the bitter when it ends.
The sweet came in capsules of backstage silliness, team shenanigans, chats with college friends-turned-colleagues, and hugs all around. It was a family reunion, to say the least. Sound check exposed the bones of the operation as we all prepared our respective crafts to be displayed on stage in a few hours. Musicians, dancers, singers, production, lights, ushers… it was all at the ready to provide a great concert for attendants and participants alike.
Such sweet spirits
And that, we did.
The audience enjoyed the set list, artists performances from their hearts, scholarships were awarded, and commemorative speeches were made.
The ASC had been a 2nd home to many UABGC members over the years and the bellows of the building were our training grounds. Now, they were cozy places of professional preparation. Everyone was in their elements, drinking the nectar of memories that would be still swirling around in our cups the next day. Me? I was waiting for the bitter.
My Crew, Workmanship Incorporated
It may sound pessimistic, but I was trying to brace myself. I didn’t want to be caught off guard and wail 8 counts before my first step. So, I waited for it… the bitter aftertaste of a such sweet experience. Surprisingly, it came right before the first dance, wisped around my shoulder after the last dance, and walked me to my car after we left the dressing rooms. I didn’t cry. I welcomed it in the car and drove home. It was OK to have the company. I actually smiled at it along the open road because it was even better to have the sweet first. I was one blessed woman.
Peace & Thanks for listening!
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Anyone that knows me knows that I struggle with breakfast. It is just not something I put on my agenda to do. Even my former doctor told me that I need to eat breakfast to regulate my health issues. That’s pretty bad when your doctor prescribes breakfast.
So, if “breaking the fast” is good for me, why don’t I do it? On most mornings, my sinuses drain so badly that I get nauseous at the thought of eating anything. Juice (100% only), fruit, and crackers became my standbys over the years and I fit oatmeal and cereal in where I can.
The idea is to break the fast from the night before. This fast can last up to 12 hours and my parasympathetic nervous system triggers my digestion to get to work as I sleep; however, sometimes I’m simply scared to eat breakfastfor fear that it won’t stay down. What are you refusing to do in fear of the possible outcome? Better yet, what good thing are you refusing because it didn’t turn out well the first time?
We’re supposed to break the fast daily. Perhaps that includes the spiritual ones as well. What fasts are you willing to break everyday?
You have a scent that is unique to you and only your biochemistry emits the scent of your DNA.
What if we could smell the essence of people? Humor me for a minute as we travel down the rabbit hole. lol
Remember that post about power? Well, I thought about it further and expanded the notion a bit. Past the clothing, make-up, and socioeconomic status, there is a scent that emits the essence of our heart. What is your scent? How do people feel when people are near you or hear you speak?
The truth is, we are never 100% at the best version of ourselves at all times, but are we who we need to be at the right time? It’s okay to be angry, but are you bitter? It’s normal to be sad, but are you depressed?
My prayer for you and me is that we emit the scent of our soul, which was made by our Heavenly Father. I pray that we exude the very essence of our being instead of the cover up scents that life has taught us to use. I pray that we have the scent of God. The scent of peace. The fragrance of Heaven wherever we go.
It was Thursday, November 9th and I was anxious and ready to attend rehearsal with my crew. We were preparing for the UAB Gospel Choir Fall Reunion Concert (which was last night by the way… more about that awesomeness on Day #13) and I was craving to be around my Troupe so I could creatively breathe. I wrapped up my psychology class and hurried to leave campus. I was happy to go. Not that I was ready to leave my teaching love, but I was simply grateful to have a place to go and continue being myself. I remembered a time when I hated going to work everyday and the only place I could breathe was in a dance studio, choir rehearsal, or in a library. It felt good to GO. Not run away from, but move toward something else of value. I appreciated the moment and smiled as I left the parking lot.
I pray that you have that joy too… the joy of knowing that you can go toward your breathing place without running from something you hate. Without running from something you fear. Without running from someone you need to confront. I pray that you GO and smile along with way.
On Wednesday, November 8th, the topic in my communication class was relationships. I always ask my students how they can improve their interpersonal communication. This is one of my favorite topics to discuss because no matter how introverted some students may be, this chapter always gets head nods and contemplative facial responses.
One of the chapter concepts was social exchange theory, which I truly enjoy demonstrating. To introduce it, I use banking as an example. One student has an imaginary balance in her/his account and as the scenario continues, each student has borrowed money from the account holder for various reasons. Somewhere between these transactions, the account holder experiences a couple of “pay days” and receives a direct deposit into their account. We calculate the total of the withdrawals and the deposits – what was lent to friends/family and the balance we could have had if little to no lending took place. Usually, students have voiced their opinions by this point about how the account holder shouldn’t have been so giving and how in “real life,” they would never lend out so much money. Then, I pose the following –
“If we are so careful with our money to monitor what is coming and going, why aren’t we just as careful with our relationships? You can give of your time, energy, and resources, but if that person does something you like, it’s like a pay day and all’s right with the world and you forget about their offenses. What if the deposits and withdrawals don’t balance out relationally? How do we determine whether the cost is worth paying? Before we are offended, how do we communicate our needs to the people we love?”
It’s generally quiet in the room after that spill with a grunt or two. I love it. It means they are thinking.
One of the corollaries of social exchange theory is that if the perceived cost is higher than the perceived reward, we will continue to remain in the relationship. It doesn’t matter if it is familial, platonic, professional, or romantic – we will stay if the cost of leaving seems too high. So, I am asking you, Sweetheart, what are the costs of your relationships? Do you do anything that perpetuates low benefits and high costs? Relationships will never be equitable at all times, but are we monitoring the costs of our exchanges like we monitor our money?
When the cost is worth it, it is called an investment. Let’s try to keep the costs low and the investments high.
One of the chapter concepts was 
Listening at the Speed of Life 